Sad today

lickastick

I'm sure everyone here might have experienced this before, and if you haven't I hope you never have to...I just found out my BFF is pregnant. This will be her second child and when she was pregnant with her first I was nowhere near ready to think about getting pregnant, but we always talked about being pregnant together and maybe for her second, the stars would align and it would work out. I knew she was trying, and we were excited about trying at the same time, but here I am nowhere near pregnant and she got pregnant her 1st month trying. I read the stories of ladies on here TTC without success and my heart breaks. For those who have tried for months and years I wish for them some respite,  because it's can't be easy for any woman to have to wait and hope and pray for their baby to come and yet see a BFN every month. I am truly happy for her but I feel so sad to listen to her pregnancy complaints while she probably has no idea how much it hurts me to not be pregnant with her. I feel like I have to hold it all back from her and the world and my husband, because how can I be so sad about something that is so out of my control. It's days like these I wonder if I'll every get pregnant and have a child of my own. It's days like these that I think of the ladies who have been trying for months and years and wonder how do you do it? I guess it is just one day at a time, just get through today and see what tomorrow holds.

Sporty1216

I'm so sorry, @createillumination That is really hard. I burst into tears while driving yesterday--for no known reason--so I get the being sad. But having to do pregnancy play-by-plays with your BFF... That is hard. I hope she will be more sensitive to the situation. And maybe even open up some space for you to share how you are feeling.

rspalding001

I'm so sorry I know how you feel. I know 4 women right now who either just had their second baby or are pregnant with their second. It's very hard when you have been trying with no luck to be happy for them. What I try and do is think of the love and support they will show me when it's finally my turn again and do the same for them now trusting that eventually it will be my turn. Hang in there!

lickastick

@sporty1216 Thank you... and yes she would hold space for me if I wanted her too, it's me who holds it all back. It's a big part of my path to learn how not to hold it all in!

@rspalding001 Thank you so much for saying that, it really helps me!

agriffin92013

I completely understand.  We found out night before my 1st IUI that DH's SIL unexpectedly got pregnant and we've been trying for years and had no luck.  Sending you hugs

Infantino22

It's so hard, and some days are worse than others. It's going to be tough for you to be around your BF in some ways... But maybe you can find a way to look at it as an up front seat to what you're going to experience very soon. Preparation and knowledge are good, right? This will help you with both as you prepare yourself to be pregnant in the (hopefully near) future.

I think it's important to give yourself time and space to feel this sadness, or even anger if that comes, because if we don't allow ourselves to experience those emotions they will come out in a more unexpected and often unproductive way. You seem like a very evolved person, so I'm sure you already know that, but it helps me to remember that feeling "all the things" is not self-indulgent - it's actually important and necessary.

Sending lots of hugs!!

Piperella

I'm sorry.  It's totally understandable that it hurts.  I got married before my bff and part of our reason we waited to get pregnant was so that my BFF could get married and we could try to time our pregnancies to be close to one another.  I just roll my eyes at myself for being so naive.    I'm sorry for the pain you're going through, but there will be times where it will be easier to celebrate with your friend than others.  Hoping you have more good moments than bad.

kellymarie8408

I hear you girl. My BFF is pregnant with triplets. Her and hubby did IVF and they implanted 2 embryos, 1 split into twins. It's hard being supportive... Just praying the good baby vines will rub off on me

lickastick

Thank you ladies each of your stories have touched me and I really appreciate the support from women who just "get it." I had a feeling that we all have been touched by this situation in one way or another.

@agriffin92013 sending hugs right back...that sucks!

@infantino22 I so needed to hear the reminder to feel what it is that I am feeling! I watched the sex and the city movie yesterday and cried through so many parts. Now that I am where I am, I understand charlottes struggle!

@piperella I'm sorry you are experiencing this as well! I am hoping you have some good moments too. 

@Kellymarie8408 Triplets !?!? WTF??? I hope that your BFF will get to repay the love and support someday very soon for you. 

Jenniferk08

I know the feeling. My sister's BF's sister is pregnant with her 2nd. We were a couple months apart with our first.
She just announced a couple weeks ago. Not only is she pregnant again but then announced she's having a girl. I've been wanting a girl for my second for years. Even before I met DH I've wanted a boy first and then a girl.
I know she had some struggles as well so I am happy for her but it does hurt a little.

Aashly101

Aaah hon I'm sorry you're going through this .. you're not alone. We have been TTC for 5 years. Unexplained infertility. This past year my niece told everyone she was naturally pregnant with twins. I had such a hard time with it at the beginning too. I wanted to be happy for her but at the same time I was so bitter and sad. I would randomly cry with laughter, if that makes any sense. I hope and pray for baby dust fever for all of us.