Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Any other lurkers just waiting for their miscarriage to happen?

I had my first ultrasound Wednesday. Between temping/opk, I knew I'd ovulated September 21/22 and should have been 9w2d. Transvaginal found nothing but a sac and yolk, no baby. Tested hcg on Wednesday and again today - dropped from 59k to 49k. Accordingly to my OB, there's no chance baby is just hiding somewhere in my retroflexed uterus.

So we wait. I elected to wait it out for at least a few weeks and see if my body could figure it out. I've had no cramping, no spotting (minimal at 6w, but nothing lately). So it's just a weird bizarre waiting game with a broken heart, yet no closure. 

For those of you who are experiencing/did experience this waiting game, what did you do? Did you return to your pre-pregnancy exercise routine? Did you start drinking again? Did you hold out hope that maybe, just maybe, it'll be one of those weird stories you read online about a baby showing up perfectly healthy on an ultrasound a few weeks later? A long gym/hot tub session followed by a glass of wine (prepregnancy therapy) sound perfect right now...but what if?????!?
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Re: Any other lurkers just waiting for their miscarriage to happen?

  • I'm sorry for your loss. The whole thing just really sucks big time. I would have been a June mom as well. I'm not in exactly the same scenario as I have a D&C scheduled for Monday, but by the time it happens, it will have been 10 days since the heart stopped beating, due to scheduling issues. My body has no freaking idea I'm no longer pregnant. I guess I should be thankful I'm not bleeding or cramping while I wait for surgery. But it's still a weird limbo to be in, for sure. I feel betrayed in another sense by my body now that it won't even let me miscarry naturally within a reasonable time frame.

    I do get these flashes of almost paranoia that the baby is actually fine, but in my heart I know the truth. It's extra hard to believe since it's my second one in 4 months.

    Sorry, this turned into a venting session me! I wish you the best in whatever you decide. And I hope you have a rainbow baby in your arms before long. ((Hugs))
  • silentP said:

    I'm sorry for your loss. The whole thing just really sucks big time. I would have been a June mom as well. I'm not in exactly the same scenario as I have a D&C scheduled for Monday, but by the time it happens, it will have been 10 days since the heart stopped beating, due to scheduling issues. My body has no freaking idea I'm no longer pregnant. I guess I should be thankful I'm not bleeding or cramping while I wait for surgery. But it's still a weird limbo to be in, for sure. I feel betrayed in another sense by my body now that it won't even let me miscarry naturally within a reasonable time frame.

    I do get these flashes of almost paranoia that the baby is actually fine, but in my heart I know the truth. It's extra hard to believe since it's my second one in 4 months.

    Sorry, this turned into a venting session me! I wish you the best in whatever you decide. And I hope you have a rainbow baby in your arms before long. ((Hugs))

    I would have been a May mom.
    My body has been brought up to speed this week by cytotec.
    I understand the feeling of your body betraying you.
    It was difficult for me to know there was no heartbeat and still FEEL pregnant. I felt like a coffin. There wasn't even a "what if", there was just my body not knowing that the baby stopped developing weeks ago.
    I'm sorry for your losses, and I'm sorry I have no advice. But thank you for sharing because you put words to what I was feeling.

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  • I'm so sorry you're going through this heartbreak right now. I found out on a Monday and had Cytotec put in on Friday. Even though I had spotting I was still getting those thoughts constantly that maybe baby would be fine with a fluttering heart if we just gave it a few weeks (I was almost 6 w). I was in such denial that I was going to cancel the Cytotec appointment if I had not passed tissue the night before. It's a terrible feeling, knowing that baby's still inside and there's nothing you can do for him/her. I'm so sorry, lots of love. I hope we can help you get through this.
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    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm going through the waiting game right now too. I had a u/s yesterday at 8w2d, which showed an empty sac also. I'd also had a u/s the week prior, which showed a fetal pole, so seeing that it was gone (absorbed is what my doc said) made it real for me.

    I opted to do Cytotec, which I took at about 7:30 tonight. So far nothing is happening. I am feeling like my body can't even do miscarriage the "right way."

    I understand how you feel and the "what if" questions. I asked my doctor if there was any reason to continue to follow pregnancy precautions. She said no. I drank a bunch of caffeine today, which I'd been missing. Last night I took a hot bath. I don't drink alcohol, but if I did I would do that too. I don't have any hope. :(

    But everyone is different and mourns differently. Thoughts and prayers for you. We can get through this.

    Me: 33     H: 36

    Married: 12/14/13   DS: 1/29/09

    BFP2: 10/9/15  MMC: 11/12/15

    BFP3: 4/6/16   DD: 12/12/16


  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't experience exactly what you did. I had a missed miscarriage at 7w1d, but my body didn't realize it until I started spotting at 11w3d. I elected to have a d&c at 12 weeks because I didn't want my body to continue taking it's time with things.

    LFAF April Siggy: TV/Movie BFFs








    BFP #1 12/2012, DS born 8/2013
    BFP #2 7/2015, MMC and D&C 9/2015
    BFP #3 11/2015, CP
    BFP #4 1/2016, DD born 10/2016




  • Fortunately my waiting period ended up being fairly short. I found out Friday that my HCG levels where not increasing and that the pregnancy wasn't viable. I elected to wait and see what would happen and we set a follow up day of Tuesday. I ended up losing the baby about 24 hours later. As horrible as the whole experience is I'm grateful I wasn't waiting for days on end. My NP was very kind and gave me a script for Xanax to help keep my mind from being on overdrive. I believe my body have find what needed to be done but I'll still follow up in the MD office to make sure. The waiting for the inevitable was horrible.
  • Yep, I am. I have been on and off this board for a while now. Have had 2 consecutive losses the last year. 

    I am currently 5w pregnant and it is not going well at all. My Hcg was only 45 on Friday and numbers have not been doubling (20, 31, then 45). I have no symptoms and got a very faint BFP at 15 dpo which is very late for me. I am starting to freak out thinking it is an ectopic pregnancy and I am scared to death of what can happen in my future of TTC as I am aware of how bad they can be :( 

    Prayers welcome, I am devastated..

    I am so sorry for your loss, XOXO


    Me: 38 DH: 42.
    Married: 9/2008.
    4/2010 - BFP (Natural)
    12/2010 - DS born.
    8/2014-TTC#2 
    10/2014 BFP
    10/2014 Confirmed MC at 5 weeks
    5/2015 BFP
    8/2015 MMC & D&C at 13 weeks  :'(
    11/2015 BFP then CP at 6 weeks.
    3/2016 Started IVF+PGS
    4/2016 ER, only 5 eggs but 3 Frozen embryos made it to freeze. Only 1 PGS normal embryo.
    DOR
    Hypothyroidism
    MTHFR
    DH Sperm with Chromosomal Issues (high % FISH)
    AMH .65
    8/2016 FET #1 BFN
    9/2016 IVF-ER #2  1 normal embryo.
    11/2016 IVF-ER #3  0 Embryos
    2/2017 FET #2 BFP CP at 6 weeks.
    5/2017  BFP Natural. 3 Betas were ok. First US 5-31-2017. Hope it sticks and is healthy!!


  • I'm not in exactly the same boat. I was 15 weeks 3 days when I found out my baby was dying and was induced 16 weeks 1 day. During those 5 days I may have got ridiculously drunk just because I was at my end point emotionally.

    Little boy due July 31st 2016

  • So sorry for your loss. We had a heartbeat at 6w5d went back for a growth sono a week later and there was no heartbeat. We opted for one more sono a week later before having a D&C. It really wasn't for hope, just to be extra sure. My body never realized I wasn't pregnant anymore and I couldn't wait weeks for it to figure it out. It ended up being 2w2d from when baby died and 10 days of me actually knowing. I did drink one night between finding out and the D&C and actually felt guilty because I still felt pregnant. I'm glad I had the second sono though because I had pre op blood work done that showed my levels were still very high. The secretary at my OB forgot to send my sonos over to confirm the loss. The hospital refused to perform the surgery until they had confirmation I in fact miscarried because my levels were still so high. I had to wait an hour and a half for someone to get to the office and fax over my sonos. Even just 10 days of waiting was so difficult. I'd get waves of nausea and thinks "oh it's the baby" then I'd remember there is no baby.

    @adrimolina sending you positive thoughts <3
  • Yep, I am. I have been on and off this board for a while now. Have had 2 consecutive losses the last year. 


    I am currently 5w pregnant and it is not going well at all. My Hcg was only 45 on Friday and numbers have not been doubling (20, 31, then 45). I have no symptoms and got a very faint BFP at 15 dpo which is very late for me. I am starting to freak out thinking it is an ectopic pregnancy and I am scared to death of what can happen in my future of TTC as I am aware of how bad they can be :( 

    Prayers welcome, I am devastated..

    I am so sorry for your loss, XOXO

    I'm so sorry. I hope you get answers soon. Prayers for you.

    Me: 33     H: 36

    Married: 12/14/13   DS: 1/29/09

    BFP2: 10/9/15  MMC: 11/12/15

    BFP3: 4/6/16   DD: 12/12/16


  • Thank you so much @blondie1314 and @cjt121413 I will post an update once I know... XO

    Me: 38 DH: 42.
    Married: 9/2008.
    4/2010 - BFP (Natural)
    12/2010 - DS born.
    8/2014-TTC#2 
    10/2014 BFP
    10/2014 Confirmed MC at 5 weeks
    5/2015 BFP
    8/2015 MMC & D&C at 13 weeks  :'(
    11/2015 BFP then CP at 6 weeks.
    3/2016 Started IVF+PGS
    4/2016 ER, only 5 eggs but 3 Frozen embryos made it to freeze. Only 1 PGS normal embryo.
    DOR
    Hypothyroidism
    MTHFR
    DH Sperm with Chromosomal Issues (high % FISH)
    AMH .65
    8/2016 FET #1 BFN
    9/2016 IVF-ER #2  1 normal embryo.
    11/2016 IVF-ER #3  0 Embryos
    2/2017 FET #2 BFP CP at 6 weeks.
    5/2017  BFP Natural. 3 Betas were ok. First US 5-31-2017. Hope it sticks and is healthy!!


  • I am cramping so bad right now. My hips and area above pubic are hurt. Im so uncomfortable at work. :( i pray i miscarry at home.
  • I am sorry you are going through this @sandiego715 ((HUGS))

    I wanted to also post an update regarding my 4th beta today, it came back at 65, so it is obviously extremely low and not doubling, just very slowly increasing. I am 22 dpo today, there is no way this is a viable pregnancy I am surrendering to that idea.. I have to go back on Wednesday for a 5th beta and the Dr. is going to do a scan to see if she sees anything to indicate what is happening, most likely they won't see anything but she knows I am worried about an EP so she is going to try, she is an amazing specialist, let's see what she says.

    Nurse said it is probably a blighted ovum or a chromosomal abnormality but since numbers are increasing they will keep monitoring...this is brutal..

    Will let you know what happens then, sending hugs to all of you and thanks for listening, 

    XOXO

    Me: 38 DH: 42.
    Married: 9/2008.
    4/2010 - BFP (Natural)
    12/2010 - DS born.
    8/2014-TTC#2 
    10/2014 BFP
    10/2014 Confirmed MC at 5 weeks
    5/2015 BFP
    8/2015 MMC & D&C at 13 weeks  :'(
    11/2015 BFP then CP at 6 weeks.
    3/2016 Started IVF+PGS
    4/2016 ER, only 5 eggs but 3 Frozen embryos made it to freeze. Only 1 PGS normal embryo.
    DOR
    Hypothyroidism
    MTHFR
    DH Sperm with Chromosomal Issues (high % FISH)
    AMH .65
    8/2016 FET #1 BFN
    9/2016 IVF-ER #2  1 normal embryo.
    11/2016 IVF-ER #3  0 Embryos
    2/2017 FET #2 BFP CP at 6 weeks.
    5/2017  BFP Natural. 3 Betas were ok. First US 5-31-2017. Hope it sticks and is healthy!!


  • By the way, the genetic specialist that we saw recently said that there was a 3% chance of this happening again, yet here we are (most likely)..  :(

    Me: 38 DH: 42.
    Married: 9/2008.
    4/2010 - BFP (Natural)
    12/2010 - DS born.
    8/2014-TTC#2 
    10/2014 BFP
    10/2014 Confirmed MC at 5 weeks
    5/2015 BFP
    8/2015 MMC & D&C at 13 weeks  :'(
    11/2015 BFP then CP at 6 weeks.
    3/2016 Started IVF+PGS
    4/2016 ER, only 5 eggs but 3 Frozen embryos made it to freeze. Only 1 PGS normal embryo.
    DOR
    Hypothyroidism
    MTHFR
    DH Sperm with Chromosomal Issues (high % FISH)
    AMH .65
    8/2016 FET #1 BFN
    9/2016 IVF-ER #2  1 normal embryo.
    11/2016 IVF-ER #3  0 Embryos
    2/2017 FET #2 BFP CP at 6 weeks.
    5/2017  BFP Natural. 3 Betas were ok. First US 5-31-2017. Hope it sticks and is healthy!!


  • So so sorry, @adrimolina. My heart aches for you :(
  • @adrimolina thoughts and prayers for you. I know the waiting is terrible.

    @sandiego715 I'm so sorry for your pain. I hope it can happen at home for you too.

    I'm still waiting. Two rounds of cytotec and not a drop of blood. I'm pissed off at my body for not knowing what to do. I really don't want a D&C. On top of the general fear I have of going under anesthesia, I found out today that our out of pocket for D&C is about $3k. Talk about adding insult to injury.

    I felt worse today, not better. All weekend I waited to miscarry, and going back to work sucked. I couldn't concentrate. The waiting really sucks.

    @Patience7150 how are you doing? Creepy Internet hugs for you, and for all of you ladies.

    Me: 33     H: 36

    Married: 12/14/13   DS: 1/29/09

    BFP2: 10/9/15  MMC: 11/12/15

    BFP3: 4/6/16   DD: 12/12/16


  • Thank you @silentP

    @cjt121413 I am so sorry you are going through this. I wonder if they will also give me cyotec or what they will say at my appointment tomorrow...

    I feel your pain regarding the D & C and medical bills, I had mine in August and bills just keep piling up. The chromosomal analysis they did on the baby (or products of conception, how they call it-awful!) is costing me $6600!! Apart from all the other bills from Dr, medications, hospital etc, I didn't chose this! It is so unfair right?

    Hoping tomorrow is a better day for us all...

    Much love to you,


    Me: 38 DH: 42.
    Married: 9/2008.
    4/2010 - BFP (Natural)
    12/2010 - DS born.
    8/2014-TTC#2 
    10/2014 BFP
    10/2014 Confirmed MC at 5 weeks
    5/2015 BFP
    8/2015 MMC & D&C at 13 weeks  :'(
    11/2015 BFP then CP at 6 weeks.
    3/2016 Started IVF+PGS
    4/2016 ER, only 5 eggs but 3 Frozen embryos made it to freeze. Only 1 PGS normal embryo.
    DOR
    Hypothyroidism
    MTHFR
    DH Sperm with Chromosomal Issues (high % FISH)
    AMH .65
    8/2016 FET #1 BFN
    9/2016 IVF-ER #2  1 normal embryo.
    11/2016 IVF-ER #3  0 Embryos
    2/2017 FET #2 BFP CP at 6 weeks.
    5/2017  BFP Natural. 3 Betas were ok. First US 5-31-2017. Hope it sticks and is healthy!!


  • Oh my gosh...the bills suck. 2 D&Cs and blood, genetic testing, and ultrasounds for 3 mc and no baby. Just money and my heart out the window. Today I started spotting brown blood. Tiny amounts...like the calm before the storm. My lower back hurts. So so scared of the pain I will go through. Hoping we all get through this mess.
  • Oh my gosh...the bills suck. 2 D&Cs and blood, genetic testing, and ultrasounds for 3 mc and no baby. Just money and my heart out the window. Today I started spotting brown blood. Tiny amounts...like the calm before the storm. My lower back hurts. So so scared of the pain I will go through. Hoping we all get through this mess.
    I'm so sorry. We WILL get through this! It is hard to have hope sometimes, I know. I hope that everything goes as easily as it can for you and that the pain is minimal.

    Today I'm having some pretty severe cramps and nausea (maybe a delayed response to the Cytotec? I don't know). I'm hoping and praying that my body realizes what's going on soon. I read somewhere that Vitamin C helps, so since it can't hurt, I took a bunch of that today too. At least I feel like I'm doing something, even though it gave me a sour stomach.

    Me: 33     H: 36

    Married: 12/14/13   DS: 1/29/09

    BFP2: 10/9/15  MMC: 11/12/15

    BFP3: 4/6/16   DD: 12/12/16


  • @adrimolina - best of luck at your appointment tomorrow. Let us know how it goes. $6,600?! Holy shit. That's terrible. Were you able to get any information from the analysis?

    Sorry for the multiple posts. My brain isn't working properly at all. As much as this sucks for all of us, I'm very thankful to have women to relate to.

    Me: 33     H: 36

    Married: 12/14/13   DS: 1/29/09

    BFP2: 10/9/15  MMC: 11/12/15

    BFP3: 4/6/16   DD: 12/12/16


  • You guys, when it rains it pours...

    I am so sorry you all had to go through your losses and then huge bills, and no answers. This is so difficult. I never thought I would be in this situation. I am 2 weeks post d&c (with my second loss this year) and am in limbo. Testing is underway and I am benched for a few months until we get all of the testing. The doctor thinks that we will not find anything wrong, so I may be on the same boat as you guys.

    But I want to echo @cjt121413, we WILL get through this! No matter what! I posted about HOPE, on a post last week, I encourage you to read it, it lifted my spirits.
    ******TW******Siggy warning
    BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
    BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; 
    BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016 

       Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • I'm so heartbroken. I, too, am simply waiting to have a miscarriage and I had never even realized that this situation was possible, much less so common. I got the news at my 8 week scan that there was a sac and no heartbeat. I refused to give up and went back this week but the scan was the same. I've been so nauseated that I just can't believe that my pregnancy is already over. I never even got to see a heartbeat.
    The waiting is torture. I really want to do things naturally. I have a 1-yr old daughter and I had her without epidural but I don't know if I can wait for my body to expel my other baby. I hold her extra close right now to try and put my heart back together. I wanted her to have a sibling so bad and I was so very excited that we got pregnant just 2 months after trying. I am tempted to do the d&c so I don't have to drag this out even longer but I want to try again as soon as possible even though I'm terrified of losing another baby. I'm also tempted to just drown in bourbon but I can't help but also hope that I am one of those crazy stories where there's a healthy baby in there undetectable to the ultrasound technician. At neither appointment did anyone suggest doing bloodwork. I feel like my doc gave up on my baby too soon. Or maybe I am just holding on to hope that shouldn't be there. I don't know. I know that it's really hard to pick myself up and get back to living my life when I'm just waiting for this to all be over.
  • @Sandrea2 I am so sorry for your loss...I feel your pain, ((HUGS))


    @cjt121413 Yes, the costs for all this process have been ridiculous! I did get some answers for my previous loss the insanely expensive analysis showed that my baby had Trisomy 18 :(
    How are you feeling? I hope you are feeling a little better...

    I went to get an ultrasound and my RE didn´t really see much. Of course my levels are so low that it would be very difficult to even see a sac. She was checking for bleeding and trying to rule out an ectopic. 
    They drew blood for another beta and I will get results tomorrow, then we will decide if I should just stop progesterone. She thinks that possibly if I wasn't taking it I would´ve already started bleeding. Once we get confirmation of what we already think, I will stop pg, wait for a week to see if I miscarry, if not I have to go back and see what is going on. They will monitor me until Hcg goes back to 0, gave me prescription for pain. 
    We discussed many options and started talking again about IVF as this is my 3rd consecutive loss, and with my age and medical history it would be a very good option to do PGS, but it is insanely expensive here in Miami and my insurance covers nothing... (over $20k)...

    I am terrified to keep having abnormal pregnancies and losses but I really can´t afford IVF, I am so frustrated...

    So grateful for this board...thanks for taking the time to read this, hugs to everyone going through this horrible pain, XOXO


    Me: 38 DH: 42.
    Married: 9/2008.
    4/2010 - BFP (Natural)
    12/2010 - DS born.
    8/2014-TTC#2 
    10/2014 BFP
    10/2014 Confirmed MC at 5 weeks
    5/2015 BFP
    8/2015 MMC & D&C at 13 weeks  :'(
    11/2015 BFP then CP at 6 weeks.
    3/2016 Started IVF+PGS
    4/2016 ER, only 5 eggs but 3 Frozen embryos made it to freeze. Only 1 PGS normal embryo.
    DOR
    Hypothyroidism
    MTHFR
    DH Sperm with Chromosomal Issues (high % FISH)
    AMH .65
    8/2016 FET #1 BFN
    9/2016 IVF-ER #2  1 normal embryo.
    11/2016 IVF-ER #3  0 Embryos
    2/2017 FET #2 BFP CP at 6 weeks.
    5/2017  BFP Natural. 3 Betas were ok. First US 5-31-2017. Hope it sticks and is healthy!!


  • @Sandrea2 I'm so very sorry for your loss. It is so hard to wait. For me the last week of waiting has sucked, but it has also given me a chance to grieve some and come to terms with the options a little bit. Thoughts and prayers for you.

    @adrimolina at least your analysis gave you some info, even though it's so very sad. I'm sorry the process is still dragging out for you. IVF is so insanely expensive. :( Prayers.

    I'm doing okay today. Still a lot of nausea and cramps. Finally a bit of spotting. ...going to try one more round of cytotec on Friday. If that doesn't work, D&C. I'm just not able to deal with the ongoing pregnancy symptoms and waiting anymore. :( thanks for listening. This board is really comforting.

    Me: 33     H: 36

    Married: 12/14/13   DS: 1/29/09

    BFP2: 10/9/15  MMC: 11/12/15

    BFP3: 4/6/16   DD: 12/12/16


  • Thank you, yes I did at least get answers for my last loss but won't for my first and this one...my last beta from Wednesday was 68 and I stopped taking the progesterone. They want me to go back in a week and see where I am at. Now I just have to wait to miscarry and I hope it happens naturally and I don't have to go through a D&C. I doubt it since it is so early but you never know..

    I so wish I could afford IVF.. :( 
    The last 2 days have been so heartbreaking, especially now with the holidays coming I am extra sensitive.

    I hope you don't have to do a D & C, keep us posted. XO

    Me: 38 DH: 42.
    Married: 9/2008.
    4/2010 - BFP (Natural)
    12/2010 - DS born.
    8/2014-TTC#2 
    10/2014 BFP
    10/2014 Confirmed MC at 5 weeks
    5/2015 BFP
    8/2015 MMC & D&C at 13 weeks  :'(
    11/2015 BFP then CP at 6 weeks.
    3/2016 Started IVF+PGS
    4/2016 ER, only 5 eggs but 3 Frozen embryos made it to freeze. Only 1 PGS normal embryo.
    DOR
    Hypothyroidism
    MTHFR
    DH Sperm with Chromosomal Issues (high % FISH)
    AMH .65
    8/2016 FET #1 BFN
    9/2016 IVF-ER #2  1 normal embryo.
    11/2016 IVF-ER #3  0 Embryos
    2/2017 FET #2 BFP CP at 6 weeks.
    5/2017  BFP Natural. 3 Betas were ok. First US 5-31-2017. Hope it sticks and is healthy!!


  • Hey all, I've been lurking on this board but usually post on the Infertility. I'm experiencing my second chemical pregnancy in a row after IUI's. Beta levels have gone from 50 on 14dpiui, 66 on 16dpiui and today 106. My doctor is worried it may be ectopic and as if not being a viable pregnancy is bad enough, now having to worry about that. I stopped my progesterone on Wednesday and will go back for repeat testing on Monday. This will be an interesting weekend thinking every cramp, pain is something and wondering if it means it's an ectopic. And even though my doctor told me to prepare for it not being viable, I have that little thought in the back of my head that "well, what if....." so even drinking is out of the picture this weekend I guess.

    Good luck to all you.

  • @mtpohmer I'm so sorry. The waiting is terrible. Good luck to you this weekend. Prayers for you and your family.

    Me: 33     H: 36

    Married: 12/14/13   DS: 1/29/09

    BFP2: 10/9/15  MMC: 11/12/15

    BFP3: 4/6/16   DD: 12/12/16


  • I thought for sure it would have been done Wed. I had bad back pain m-wed. I was spotting then it stopped
  • @cjt121413 Not sure if it would help, but an abortion procedure is the same as a D&C and they also have medical abortions at most clinics. Cost is usually under $500.
    I know losing a child isn't having an abortion. I lost my twins last week and had to deliver them in the hospital. The bills are already trickling in. It's just one more "screw you," on top of everything.
  • @65griffin79 we thought of this. It would be an option if necessary. My doc also offered to do the procedure in her office to help us save some money.

    I took another round of cytotec on Friday that seems to be working. *TMI alert* I've had severe cramps and bleeding like a heavy period. My doc suggested that the sac might be reabsorbed without bleeding, so I'm hoping that's what happened. I'll have HCG drawn this week.

    I hope everyone's doing ok today.

    Me: 33     H: 36

    Married: 12/14/13   DS: 1/29/09

    BFP2: 10/9/15  MMC: 11/12/15

    BFP3: 4/6/16   DD: 12/12/16


  • Just got my results back, levels are still slooooowly rising so now have to keep going back until they level out. AF did make an appearance over the weekend so my nurse said that is a good sign that even if it is ectopic, it may resolve on it's own. Since all hope has been erased, I think I will enjoy a class of wine with dinner on Thursday.

    Hope everyone is hanging in there!

  • I'm more or less in this boat. I'd been having some odd mid-cycle spotting for about 4-5 days and took a pregnancy test "just to check," and it turned positive almost immediately. Went to the ER Saturday night and my HCG was 70; they couldn't see anything on the ultrasound so concluded that I must have ovulated early in my cycle and that I was very, very newly pregnant, but couldn't tell me anything about the pregnancy's viability.

    Since then my HCG has only risen to 92 (Monday) and then 105 (Wednesday). They did another ultrasound to try to rule out ectopic but couldn't see anything. And I'm still spotting consistently on a daily basis (11 days now). Basically they've told me that it's too early to tell what's going on but that the chance of this being a viable pregnancy is really low.

    The waiting is really hard, and I feel like it's even harder hanging on to that teeny bit of hope when all signs are that it's not going to work out . . . I just want a definitive answer one way or another, because being in limbo during the holidays is miserable.

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    DH and I:  Early/mid 30s
    Married 7/15
    TTC #1 as of 8/15
    BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15
    BFP #2 2/18/16
  • I am not sure where to post.
    According to my calculations based on my LMP I should be 7 wks pregnant.
    I took a HPT on 11/13 and it was a very clear positive.
    However on Monday 11/23 the transvaginal ultrasound showed no sac or yolk. My hcg level came out to be 4590.
    My OB thinks that either I am not that far along in my pregnancy or my hcg will continue to decline until I miscarry.
    However because of the holidays I couldn't get a second blood test To know whether my levels are increasing or not. I will return Monday 11/30
    It is so frustrating to be in limbo. My DH and I were so ecstatic despite the fact that I am over 40 and with a history of losses. I have 2 children but have had 3 losses.
    I keep fearing checking my pantiliner when I use the restroom.
    Theres also a chance that it may be an ectopic pregnancy.
    Hopefully by Tuesday 12/1 I will find out what is or could be going on with me.
    Btw this would be a July baby.
  • I still haven't had any sign of miscarriage and it's driving me crazy. It's been 3 weeks since my first ultrasound. It's only making me question the validity of my diagnosis since my dr never did any bloodwork. It's only getting my hopes up to be crushed all over again. I am going to make an appointment with another dr this upcoming week and hopefully get some answers.
  • I had what I thought was a normal period for 5 days, then 3 days of no bleeding and then started lightly bleeding again, but with red blood accompanied by weird pain that felt different than period cramps.  After researching online and seeing something about ectopic, I took a pregnancy test just to rule that out and it came out positive.  Went to the ER, my hcg was only 54 and they couldn't see anything on the ultrasound so was told I was either newly pregnant or that my "period" hadn't really been my period.  Was sent for follow up bloodwork, and the first test came back 99 so it had almost doubled.  I continued to bleed lightly for a full week.  The bleeding stopped and my next test came back 95.  Was told it was a miscarriage and that I would likely start bleeding heavily soon. 

    That was 4 days ago.  The waiting has been horrible.  Tonight I'm feeling period-like cramps so I'm wondering if its starting.  I just feel really alone.  I know people don't know what to say, but I feel like the silence has been deafening.  It consumes all of my thoughts, but I feel like because I physically look fine, no one really understands how difficult the not knowing and the waiting has been and expects me to act completely normal.  
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  • I had what I thought was a normal period for 5 days, then 3 days of no bleeding and then started lightly bleeding again, but with red blood accompanied by weird pain that felt different than period cramps.  After researching online and seeing something about ectopic, I took a pregnancy test just to rule that out and it came out positive.  Went to the ER, my hcg was only 54 and they couldn't see anything on the ultrasound so was told I was either newly pregnant or that my "period" hadn't really been my period.  Was sent for follow up bloodwork, and the first test came back 99 so it had almost doubled.  I continued to bleed lightly for a full week.  The bleeding stopped and my next test came back 95.  Was told it was a miscarriage and that I would likely start bleeding heavily soon. 

    That was 4 days ago.  The waiting has been horrible.  Tonight I'm feeling period-like cramps so I'm wondering if its starting.  I just feel really alone.  I know people don't know what to say, but I feel like the silence has been deafening.  It consumes all of my thoughts, but I feel like because I physically look fine, no one really understands how difficult the not knowing and the waiting has been and expects me to act completely normal.  

    I'm sorry, Christina.  Your story sounds a lot like mine, except they're doing one last blood test today to see where my HCG levels are at, and then another ultrasound tomorrow to determine whether they need to give me methotrexate for an ectopic.  It's been 9 days since I had my spotting and POAS and being in limbo like this is miserable.  You're not alone and I completely understand what you're going through.  Sending you virtual hugs!!!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    DH and I:  Early/mid 30s
    Married 7/15
    TTC #1 as of 8/15
    BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15
    BFP #2 2/18/16
  • You said exactly what I'm feeling--it consumes all my thoughts and because I look physically fine, no one knows how difficult it is.
    It's helpful to know that there are people that know how difficult it is and how all-encompassing and paralyzing this experience is. Time is going by in slow motion. Every time I get a pain I brace myself waiting for "it" to start. It's lonely. I hope you can find some comfort.
  • Thank you.  I have bloodwork and an ultrasound scheduled again later this week too, I guess to confirm that the levels are all the way down and that everything is out.  But since bleeding hasn't started yet, I don't know what to expect.
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  • So I just got my quant levels back .  .  . they went from a 105 on Wednesday to a 44 today.  I'd been holding on to a tiny spark of hope that they'd shot up since my boobs were super sore and the spotting I'd been having consistently for two weeks finally stopped yesterday, but that's gone now.  I still need to do the ultrasound tomorrow to monitor for an ectopic and then they'll like me call me in for an appointment with the OB to discuss next steps, but I'm feeling pretty crappy right now.  I feel like I'm failing, and I just want it to be over.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    DH and I:  Early/mid 30s
    Married 7/15
    TTC #1 as of 8/15
    BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15
    BFP #2 2/18/16
  • Virtual hugs to all! I'm still in limbo so I know exactly what you all are feeling - had repeat beta and ultrasound yesterday, HCG has only dropped slightly (179 to 163) but nothing showed up on the ultrasound. I go back on Thursday and if my levels haven't "dropped appropriately" my RE is going to insert a catheter to try and disrupt my uterus and if that doesn't work, then the shot of methotrexate on Friday. Even my RE said being in this limbo, not knowing exactly what is going on and not having definite answers is almost worse than a negative. @simcal18, I also feel like I'm failing, first my numbers didn't "rise appropriately" and now they are not "dropping appropriately" - I feel like my body isn't doing what it is supposed to be and it is a helpless feeling since we have no control over it.

    This has been the longest few weeks ever as I got the initial positive on a HPT on 11/14/2015 and have been just waiting for updated results every 2-3 days.

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