Most Embarrassing Moments December 2015 Edition

HinataUzumaki913

I saw this thread on the January 2016 board and thought it may be something to make us all laugh. Let's share some embarrassing/silly stories from this pregnancy. 

I'll start: At around like 20 something weeks or so, I was in Walmart with my mom. We had just had Boston Market for lunch before getting there and finishing ordering and trying my wedding cake flavors. So we're walking around and I began to feel really nauseous. I was ALL THE WAY by the meat section, but in the bean isle, and the bathroom was in the front of the store. So even if I ran, well pregnant ran, I wasn't making it. I suddenly puked, but luckily I had just finished my drink and had the large cup. So I puked in there...but PEED on myself. No one noticed thanks to my black pants, but it gave my mom and me a great laugh. She then picked up some sweats for me and a pack of the always pamper panties. We pulled a female employee to the side and she gave us the okay for me to change pants and open the pack of panties. I cleaned up and changed. Tossed my beloved black pants and then we kept shopping, paid for everything and went home.  Even though no one noticed, I was embarrassed. Glad my mom's amusement made it funny though.

spottedginger

@HinataUzumaki913 Its a pregnancy thing...

dec15mum

I'm glad the employee helped and no one noticed!!
A couple of weeks after finding out I was pregnant I went to Tunisia with my SO, morning sickness was non stop.
I was on a coach to the hotel and I could feel the inevitable- happened way too quickly but I puked all over myself and my SO and the couple in front of me who didn't speak English.
Thankfully wasn't sharing a hotel with them!

Bombmom3

DH and I were having sex last week and were in the home stretch when a HUGE gush of fluid sprayed out of me. I immediately froze in panic, assuming it was my water. DH's wasn't able to process anything other than what was going on, so three minutes later when his brain finally regained enough blood flow to realize he was soaked from the pelvis down (and I was soaked and the sheets were soaked) he panicked as well. Then he decided that he was just so amazing that night that he turned me into the elusive "squirter". A quick sniff test verified that no, my water didn't break and no, my husband's sexual prowress did not exceed God level and make me helplessly squirt everywhere. It was just an extraordinary amount of pee.

We now stop mid foreplay for me to have a pee break.

Truly my most embarrassing moment pregnant ever in all three pregnancies.

hplunkett2883

Bombmom3 said:

DH and I were having sex last week and were in the home stretch when a HUGE gush of fluid sprayed out of me. I immediately froze in panic, assuming it was my water. DH's wasn't able to process anything other than what was going on, so three minutes later when his brain finally regained enough blood flow to realize he was soaked from the pelvis down (and I was soaked and the sheets were soaked) he panicked as well. Then he decided that he was just so amazing that night that he turned me into the elusive "squirter". A quick sniff test verified that no, my water didn't break and no, my husband's sexual prowress did not exceed God level and make me helplessly squirt everywhere. It was just an extraordinary amount of pee.

We now stop mid foreplay for me to have a pee break.

Truly my most embarrassing moment pregnant ever in all three pregnancies.

What position were you in?

kristen2b

hplunkett2883 said:

Bombmom3 said:

DH and I were having sex last week and were in the home stretch when a HUGE gush of fluid sprayed out of me. I immediately froze in panic, assuming it was my water. DH's wasn't able to process anything other than what was going on, so three minutes later when his brain finally regained enough blood flow to realize he was soaked from the pelvis down (and I was soaked and the sheets were soaked) he panicked as well. Then he decided that he was just so amazing that night that he turned me into the elusive "squirter". A quick sniff test verified that no, my water didn't break and no, my husband's sexual prowress did not exceed God level and make me helplessly squirt everywhere. It was just an extraordinary amount of pee.

We now stop mid foreplay for me to have a pee break.

Truly my most embarrassing moment pregnant ever in all three pregnancies.

What position were you in?

And were you eating a sandwich?

suchaglencoco

..... I feel very dirty and uncomfortable from reading that....

Bombmom3

@hplunkett2883
Modified Missionary with my knees up and him kneeling, holding on to my shins. Actually the least comfortable position for me but one he really loves so about once a week I give in and don't just flip on my side or roll on all fours when he tries to get me into that position (we have a healthy sex life so our norm is 5-6 nights/week).

@kristen2b
No. If I had been I doubt I would have cared that I pissed everywhere.

HinataUzumaki913

I just want to say that I never find any of your comments dull @bombmom3. Always an interesting story.

hplunkett2883

Bombmom3 said:

@hplunkett2883
Modified Missionary with my knees up and him kneeling, holding on to my shins. Actually the least comfortable position for me but one he really loves so about once a week I give in and don't just flip on my side or roll on all fours when he tries to get me into that position (we have a healthy sex life so our norm is 5-6 nights/week).

@kristen2b
No. If I had been I doubt I would have cared that I pissed everywhere.

Good golly. I think if I attempted sex in that position at this point I'd pass out from lack of oxygen. I can hardly breathe just changing positions (not during sex). Then to even think about eating a sandwich at the same time???.... yeah I get out if breath eating too. Cudos to you lady.

Bombmom3

hplunkett2883 said:

@hplunkett2883 Modified Missionary with my knees up and him kneeling, holding on to my shins. Actually the least comfortable position for me but one he really loves so about once a week I give in and don't just flip on my side or roll on all fours when he tries to get me into that position (we have a healthy sex life so our norm is 5-6 nights/week). @kristen2b No. If I had been I doubt I would have cared that I pissed everywhere.

Good golly. I think if I attempted sex in that position at this point I'd pass out from lack of oxygen. I can hardly breathe just changing positions (not during sex). Then to even think about eating a sandwich at the same time???.... yeah I get out if breath eating too. Cudos to you lady.

It's really not comfortable at all for me.  I have trouble breathing and on top of that I tend to get really bad heartburn in that position.  DH is actually a very considerate guy and would be happy just pulling it out of rotation until after the baby comes if I said I couldn't deal with it but I know he likes it a lot so I go with it.  And he and I have had many a laughing fit over just how "graceful" I have become when shifting positions during anything (sex included).  Also ties in with my elephant seal comment over on the Anything Goes thread.  Ever see one of those things shift positions?  Pretty much sums up my life lol DH says I am "graceful like moose".  He isn't far from the truth there.  

Honestly, I'm generally not into mixing food with anything bedroom related but I have an unhealthy obsession with cheesesteaks right now.  Since I'm hungry 24/7 it's understandable that sometimes I get caught up in a cheesesteak fantasy when I should be thinking sexy thoughts ... 

adecembermom2015

5-6 nights a week?! Way too much exercise.

Bombmom3

At least I don't feel like I'm fibbing when I tell my OB I still exercise regularly ...

cedixon2

Tried to be nice and give the hubs a Bj a couple weeks ago and ended up throwing up after I got him good and worked up... Also peed on the floor... So attractive, lol.

caitlyn5454

This past Saturday, I was cuddling with SO before he went to work. I had a panic attack because I could feel a hair in my mouth, but couldn't get it because my arms were pinned between us. I couldn't breathe, which started my panicky-giggling and started struggling. Because he thought I was just messing around, SO pulled me tighter, making me panic even more. I was "laughing" so hard I could only get "I'm gonna cry" out before I started sobbing. He immediately thought something was wrong, and started worrying he had hurt me. All this while I'm laying there sobbing, knowing that he's going to laugh himself silly as soon as I tell him that I was having a panic attack/sobbing all because of one damn hair in my mouth. He was still laughing ten minutes later when he went to work.  L-)

BGtwins+1

HinataUzumaki913 said:

I saw this thread on the January 2016 board and thought it may be something to make us all laugh. Let's share some embarrassing/silly stories from this pregnancy. 

I'll start: At around like 20 something weeks or so, I was in Walmart with my mom. We had just had Boston Market for lunch before getting there and finishing ordering and trying my wedding cake flavors. So we're walking around and I began to feel really nauseous. I was ALL THE WAY by the meat section, but in the bean isle, and the bathroom was in the front of the store. So even if I ran, well pregnant ran, I wasn't making it. I suddenly puked, but luckily I had just finished my drink and had the large cup. So I puked in there...but PEED on myself. No one noticed thanks to my black pants, but it gave my mom and me a great laugh. She then picked up some sweats for me and a pack of the always pamper panties. We pulled a female employee to the side and she gave us the okay for me to change pants and open the pack of panties. I cleaned up and changed. Tossed my beloved black pants and then we kept shopping, paid for everything and went home.  Even though no one noticed, I was embarrassed. Glad my mom's amusement made it funny though.

I've done this so many times!

One time we pulled into a store and we had just eaten. I knew I was going to throw up. My husband pulled into the parking spot, I immediately opened the door and puked everywhere!! (And peed my pants too)

As I finished puking, the man in the Mercedes (He was really worried about his car- thankfully I missed it!) next to me needed to get into his car but had to avoid stepping in my puke. It was horrible.

acanfield18

Well I pee my pants regularly.. No matter how many times I pee, if I sneeze I'm screwed. But my most embarrassing moment was when I was about 4 months...I was still really sick hubby tried to take me and the kids out to lunch, I started getting car sick yelled for him to pull over, open the door and dry heaved so hard I farted... My kids still make fun of me every chance they get.

SCKD

Oh man! You ladies are making me feel so much better! Last week I woke up choking from a nap with heartburn. I barley made it to the bathroom and then threw up in the sink. Horrible! And the heaving made me pee all over the bathroom floor. So I got in the shower to clean up, threw up some more, and then had to go ask my husband for help feeling so ashamed. Ugh!

groovylocks

I peed myself on the way to dinner tonight. We had to go back so I could change. We missed our reservations. My husband told on me to the maitre'd who looked at me like I didn't belong in his restaurant.