Hubby too afraid of sex

kaytee3120

Good lord I'm horny and the hubby thinks he's going to crush the baby!!

Okay rant over.

kmama37

Mine is freaked out too. My advice blind folded him climb on and try to stay upright to keep from smashing him with your belly lol works for me

dajeume

My husband is afraid too. He is afraid that I will go in to labor. Lol I told him that would be ok with me.

Beccas387

I should have never explained to mine what effacement and staging was. Now that he knows how low the baby is and how thinned out my cervix is, it's like I have the black plague lol.

tracij12

Men are funny! Our DD decided to come early (38 weeks). We were in the middle of doing the deed for the first time in about a month and my water broke. We both got a good laugh out of it, but I can't say it wasn't a little (or a lot) weird!

tulegrl14

Mine is holding out too. But I'm mainly bugging him to have sex to soften my cervix not for pleasure lol. I'm 8 days from due date and want it everyday but he's not budging lol.

kendra817

Try a spooning position or doggie style (for lack of a better name)... They work great and you don't feel like you're crushing your stomach!

AiramJ

Mine doesn't want to either!!! Tbh, I just want him to bring on labor, but he is not up for it at all!!! What's wrong with him!!

beckles112

My husband is the total opposite! He wants this baby out so he's more than willing to do the deed to help soften my cervix.

Leabyrd

Mines been like this for TOO long! My hormones are so insane that I've literally convinced myself he's cheating. (No evidence, no inclinations, if he's not at work he's home) I think the lack of intimacy and the fact that I'm so emotional I've literally just hung on to my insecurity and my mind doesn't get off it. Anyone else have crazy (irrational) thoughts like this!???? My poor hubby doesn't deserve it BUT it's something my mind gets stuck on then it's a snowball downhill..... Ugh.

katieprophet

Mine won't help either... I made him the other day because doc said we should try that before she sweeps my membranes. But I don't think he'll do it again. I think it freaks him out.

ColoradoHiker

I wish mine was afraid. He'll look at me, and I'm just like.. no. You've got two hands. I can't reach my feet right now, let alone get up enough enthusiasm for sex. (N15 lurker)

altow1310

Mine is the same way! I think knowing that baby is so low and my cervix is dilated and effaced makes him feel like he's going to cause some sort of harm. Or that he's going to be able to feel the baby in there. :-P I understand his concern because, for a guy, I'm sure it's hard to really understand all of the changes. We haven't lost any level of intimacy with one another and I don't feel like there's any sort of tension or a wedge between us, so I'm thankful for that. If the decrease in sex was for no reason or some other unspoken reason that would be a huge issue, but given the pregnancy it isn't a problem. I don't want him to do something that makes him uncomfortable, and I don't want him to have a hard time enjoying himself because he's nervous about the baby the entire time. I think it's totally normal.

KLHauck12

Mine was the same as soon as he found out that I was dilated 1 cm and my midwife could feel the baby's head. He was convinced that meant that his penis would hit the baby. He made me ask the nurse hotline about it. They told me it was fine so I convinced him to have sex the following weekend. Then right in the middle of it, I started bleeding - a lot! It looked like a horror movie, we were both covered and my husband was completely freaked out! Everything was fine...I found out my cervix is just extremely softened and friable right now so that's why I bled. But he wouldn't go near me now if you paid him...so no more sex for us.

mamawolf23

Hahahaha my husband always wants to do it and says, "(sexy voice) are you ready for another dose of pitocin??" he thinks its sooooo funny

stephiesheldork

Mine would NOT even come near me after he heard a nurse say "oh wow, his head is really low." So at my next weekly app. I got my OB to write me a note saying that sex is still completely safe. I'm not even in the mood for sex, I just know it can induce labor and I want this child out. Lol

FrozenMommy

Seriously? Enjoy the time off. 

whitemn04

Not that I'm really into sex now, but my hubby will hardly even shower with me for fear of my mucous plug dropping on his foot. Ever since I mentioned mucous plug it's been his obsession to avoid me. Really dude? It's not going to plop on your foot and crawl up your leg... I just want him to scrub my damn back!

leah665

ColoradoHiker said:

I wish mine was afraid. He'll look at me, and I'm just like.. no. You've got two hands. I can't reach my feet right now, let alone get up enough enthusiasm for sex. (N15 lurker)

This x1000. I don't want to be touched.

marisadillard16

I've had this problem since the beginning. We had sex like twice a day, everyday practically for years until we actually conceived and then it's like I turned into the most non-sexual being in his eyes. I feel like he will never see me in a sexual way ever again. Like I'm the least sexy person in the world, and I'm a sexy chick, so it's really confusing. Of course the only guy on this planet that I want to get busy with has no physical attraction to me, this has never happened to me before. It hurts and it made me scared to make a move or initiate sex due to the fear of rejection I know is going to follow. If he doesn't brush me off, he won't stay hard either. He blames it on medication but his dose has been lowered to almost nothing and he even said he was getting boners. But none have been brought to me or my attention. I know he doesn't want me and it sucks. I'm due in two days. If after I have the baby and heal, we don't get back to some sort of physical relationship, there will be a serious problem for our families future. We're to young to be in a sexless marriage. It might be whatever to him but I'm a faithful woman and I need physical intimacy in a relationship so if we don't have that I have to move on, and I really don't want to have to do that, I don't know what to think other than he's lost the attraction. It's a horrible place to be mentally, and I know if we did I would go into labor. The last time we had sex at 10/15 weeks my plug came out but it was just clear and rebuilt itself, no biggie, I'm sure if we did it now it would get things going. My dr hasn't checked me at all so I have no idea if I'm thinned or effaced at all but I can feel he is low w more BMs too. I hope we both get some action asap. I totally just ranted and I'm sorry lol but I understand what youre going through.

KLHauck12

marisadillard16 said:

I've had this problem since the beginning. We had sex like twice a day, everyday practically for years until we actually conceived and then it's like I turned into the most non-sexual being in his eyes. I feel like he will never see me in a sexual way ever again. Like I'm the least sexy person in the world, and I'm a sexy chick, so it's really confusing. Of course the only guy on this planet that I want to get busy with has no physical attraction to me, this has never happened to me before. It hurts and it made me scared to make a move or initiate sex due to the fear of rejection I know is going to follow. If he doesn't brush me off, he won't stay hard either. He blames it on medication but his dose has been lowered to almost nothing and he even said he was getting boners. But none have been brought to me or my attention. I know he doesn't want me and it sucks. I'm due in two days. If after I have the baby and heal, we don't get back to some sort of physical relationship, there will be a serious problem for our families future. We're to young to be in a sexless marriage. It might be whatever to him but I'm a faithful woman and I need physical intimacy in a relationship so if we don't have that I have to move on, and I really don't want to have to do that, I don't know what to think other than he's lost the attraction. It's a horrible place to be mentally, and I know if we did I would go into labor. The last time we had sex at 10/15 weeks my plug came out but it was just clear and rebuilt itself, no biggie, I'm sure if we did it now it would get things going. My dr hasn't checked me at all so I have no idea if I'm thinned or effaced at all but I can feel he is low w more BMs too. I hope we both get some action asap. I totally just ranted and I'm sorry lol but I understand what youre going through.

Have you talked with your husband about all this or do you just feel like he isn't attracted to you? It might be that he has a hard time seeing you as a sexual being when you so obviously have the maternal look going. But maybe it's something else. Maybe he is afraid it will hurt the baby? Maybe he is attracted to you but has a hard time staying in a sexual frame of mind when he is aware there is a baby in there? Maybe he is feeling scared and stressed about having a baby or providing for a baby? Stress and the mental side of sex affects men's interest and ability to stay hard or finish more than we often realize.
Anything related to sex, I have a tendency to always feel like it's me...but I think it is my own insecurity over how I feel about my body & sexiness during this time...not how my hustand feels. It helps when we talk about it whats going on. But even if reassurance from your husband doesn't feel like enough, maybe you could do other things. It helps when we find intimacy in other ways - other sex acts not involving intercourse (we can't because of my soft cervix which will bleed), cuddling on the couch, kissing, etc. But I'm also scared for how we will get through the time post partum and how well we will be able to get our sex life back. But I think it will just take communication and effort to maintain intimacy in various ways.