How much fussiness is "normal"?

sokomo

My baby will be 4 weeks old on Monday and she is fussy 90% of the time that she's awake. On top of that, her fussiness is basically hysteria most of the time. She's never able to fall asleep on her own and the only thing that consistently calms her down is if I hold her and bounce her on an exercise ball. It's been like this for the past week or two. I'm a FTM and just wondering if this is normal. I feel like a complete failure. 

Bigboobsmcgee

First off don't feel like a failure. Babies are so damn hard and being a FTM is extra tough!

Secondly, a 4 week old shouldn't be able to fall asleep on their own. She is far too little for that. YOU have to do most of the work to keep her happy. I had to let my first child sleep on me for the first 3-4 weeks because he wasn't happy anywhere else.

Third, you might want to read or pick up the DVD for the Happiest Baby on the Block. It talks about the 5 S's and one of them is "swinging" or basically what you are doing when bouncing on the exercise ball. Babies like that bouncing/swinging motion so keep doing it!

It is possible she has colic. Here is some info about that:

"A colicky baby cries around the same time each day, usually in the late afternoon or evening. Colic episodes may last from just a few minutes to three hours or more on any given day, although babies with colic are likely to cry as long as two to three hours several days a week. The crying usually begins suddenly and for no clear reason. Your baby may have a bowel movement or pass gas near the end of the colic episode."

Are you swaddling? Are you breastfeeding and if so, could she have stomach problems from something in your diet? Do you have a carrier and can you wear her around the house? It is SOOO hard to figure out what the problem is when they are this young because even they don't know why they are crying half the time! It's all trial and error at this point.

SmrBrd2012

Sounds like she could have colic. My LO was pretty high maintenance too when he was that age. He wouldn't really whine, he would have full blown scream cries with nothing apparently wrong other than he wanted to be comforted. It's so exhausting but it has nothing to do with you! It slowly starts to get better around 6-12 weeks.

sokomo

Thank you @Bigboobsmcgee - you're so sweet. I do have the Happiest Baby on the Block book, and have read it. When the baby is fussy I will try the swaddling, "sh"ing, swinging (aka bouncing). I haven't found an exact formula that works every time, but the bouncing on the ball definitely helps.

As someone who is a natural problem solver, being constantly faced with a "problem" that feels unsolvable is a real challenge. I appreciate your kind words.

Bigboobsmcgee

sokomo said:

Thank you @Bigboobsmcgee - you're so sweet. I do have the Happiest Baby on the Block book, and have read it. When the baby is fussy I will try the swaddling, "sh"ing, swinging (aka bouncing). I haven't found an exact formula that works every time, but the bouncing on the ball definitely helps.

As someone who is a natural problem solver, being constantly faced with a "problem" that feels unsolvable is a real challenge. I appreciate your kind words.

You are more than welcome. I am that problem solver too and really struggled with my first child because I wanted a solution to everything! Hang in there and I'm here if you have any questions!

mbates11

My baby was that way at about 2 to 3 weeks old. Her doctor thought it was colic. Then we started noticing she would make a funny face sometimes so I recorded it and took it to the dr.. Turns out she has reflux. She has been so much better and happier in the last few weeks after being on Zantac. My dr also told me some of it is just being a new baby and having to figure out life. Crying is pretty much all they know how to do at that age. My baby is now 6 weeks old and is starting to spend a lot of awake time just talking away and wiggling on her back. Good luck!

kde4

Our babies (yes, twins) were both like that too. Over the course of a few weeks we noticed that it was often around the same time each night. After ruling everything else out, we concluded that they just had a really awful witching hour. With a combination of motion, music, swaddles and pacifiers we are able to shorten the amount of time that they're fussy. Many of my friends are also dealing with this, so I wrote up a list of my tricks to share. I hope it helps! https://www.theydontfeedthemselves.com/newborn-twins-witching-hour-tricks/

NurseRieger

Try a stroller walk outside in the fresh air. It helps my LO who gets more fussy in the evening. It gets him to sleep and then wake up a little happier. Not sure how your weather is, I'm in south Florida so it just got comfortable enough to go outside this month