what should I do?
cryhen83
member
Best Answers
-
Options
Krisdee123 member
1. I'm sorry you are going through this, it sounds horrible.
2. Punctuation. Please, it is so difficult to read this without any breaks.
3. Where is your SO when all of this is going on? Why do they let him bully and demean you? You need to have a talk with him and let him know that the way his family is treating you is not right and you are not going to stand for it anymore. He needs to have a talk with them. Absolutely unacceptable behaviour. -
Options
cMichelle0423 member
I've always said, I'm not responsible for the relationship family members choose to have with my children. My priority is raising my child(ren) and our own relationship. I'm not going to beg anyone to see my kid or be a part of their lives. As the parent I will do my part to allow others to be around, but that's it.cryhen83 said:I'm currently 31 weeks and I'm getting pretty anxious I had a not so nice experience with my s/o family earlier in my pregnancy and now that I'm getting farther along I need some advice on how to deal with it when the baby gets here.i was 21 weeks pregnant and got an invite for dinner at my so mothers home I was very reluctant to go because of previous comments she has made about my weight ,I have put on a good amount of weight in my pregnancy and at that time I had put on 20 lbs already but anyone that knows me knows how I will lose the weight and im a pretty determed person and i figure there's plenty of other things to stress about while being pregnant my weight should not be his mother's concern so long story short when I first walked into the door his mother's gf said "wow you've gotten fatter since the last time we saw you" I heard it took it in ignored and and Sat down at the table with his other family members his mother then makes small talk and all while in my head I just want to run out of there and hide .I have to admit I was very upset by her comment then his niece begins playing around me and Im just talking to her i tell her that her lil cousin is in my tummy and she's looking at me not understanding as a lil 2 year old would then his mother then says "she's looking at your stomach like ughhh"im like wtf is this really happening I've been in there house less then 15 minutes and I'm getting hit with jabs so I'm uncomfortable I really wanna go home I make small talk with his sisters for about 25 minutes so I'm ready to go I say my goodbyes and I'm heading for the door when her gf says how I got alot fatter since being there last and I tell her hey weight can be lost and i was no small chick before and his mother just goes crazy her hands swinging in the air and she's like why u have a problem with her you are big your big as a mf your fat I told u I was gonna buy your baby stuff and this and that your sensitive we were just playing and blah blah blah her demeanor was ultra aggressive with raised voice and fingers in my face all because I told her I was ready to leave because they were making me uncomfortable with the comments about my weight 2 days later I had my ultra sound for the gender reveal and they knew it and never called or anything since I was 21 weeks now I'm 31 but a few days later one of his sisters called me and told me I over reacted and thats just her personality so my question to everyone is since my baby is coming soon should I reach out since that is his grandmother or should I expect not to have a relationship with my so family I'm just hurt really bad I left crying and never heard an apology or nothing from them except the call that I over reacted which I think I did not they were rude and his mother seems not to like me at all and that's not the first time she throws jabs at me while I'm over there visiting
My mil has a good relationship with my kids because she makes the effort to come see them or ask to have them over. My FIL on the other hand, thinks we need to ask him to take our kids, because that's how it works with his other grandkids. And that's why we only see him a handful of times a year, like holidays and special occasions. If he asked to see them more, I would gladly bring them over or let him pick them up. But he doesn't. So it's not my problem. - Loading the player...
-
Options
basdenjn6 member
I agree with previous poster, where is your SO during all of this?!? Bottom line- they don't get to talk that way to people. I don't care if it's your SIL's personality- then her personality sucks. I would very calmly and very clearly tell them -ONCE- if you are going to speak to me like this when I see you, then I will choose not to be around you and that goes for my baby as well. I love my family and they are very important to me but blood doesn't trump actions. If they are toxic people then the end. Do you really want your child to hear them speak like that to you, or worse, for them to ever talk that way to your child? Also, SO needs to step up and defend you a bit.
Answers
I would stay away. You have to put your foot down and be firm NOW, else they will never respect you. You don't want to establish a pattern of them running all over you and treating you like dirt.
Plus, even more so now that you are pregnant it's better to just cut out the stress and hurt that those people are causing you. That type of thing is not just bad for you, it's bad for baby!