Infertility

Poem to share

Hi Ladies... I don't claim to be an excellent writer by any means, but I was feeling a bit down and frustrated, and lonely on this infertility journey today and the way I deal with my emotions is writing. Sometimes its just my blog, sometimes its in a more private journal, and today it took the form of a poem. I wanted to share it with you all to remind you that you're not alone, I'm not alone, and others here understand the pain each of us feels daily. I hope you enjoy. If it's totally awful I apologize haha. :)

Every Day

image

You say to me; enjoy this time,
but this time of mine, I don't need, I'm fine

You say to enjoy the freedom I have,
but freedom I lack, I do not laugh

You say be brave, be patient and trust,
but trust is lost, and question I must

You say you believe, and feel you know,
but promise, you can't, and faith is slow

You say you miss the life I lead,
but what when life I lose and bleed

You say you care, you understand,
but each time I fall I find no hand

So what you need to see, I say,
is I hurt, I hope, I blame, I pray

Every Day


-written by Femme InFertile
---
Started TTC April 2011
Me: 32, DH: 32
Diagnosis: Endometriosis

  • 2012 - 3 Rounds clomid - all BFN
  • 2013 - 1 Fresh IVF with 2 day 3 embryos - BFN
  • 2014 - 1 Frozen IVF with 2 day 5 embryos - BFN
  • Took a long break, continuing trying naturally
  • Feb 2016 - Biopsy = Endo, DH sperm improved from 1% to 6% morphology
  • March 2016 - Fresh IVF cycle with acupuncture & intralipids: 20 eggs retrieved (17 mature), 7 ICSI'd fertilized, 9 naturally fertilized. 16 total embryos!
  • April 8th - 2 embryos (1ICSI and 1 Natural) transferred. (7 blastocysts frozen), April 18th - Beta = BFN
  • Sept 23rd - Lupron Depot Injection for Endo control
  • Nov 15th 2016 - Started daily Lupron Injections for upcoming FET
  • Nov 22 - Baseline US/BW - Intralipid Infusion - Start Meds for FET with immune protocol
  • Dec 16th FET transfer of 3 embryos (1 - AA, 2 - BB)
  • TW below
  • Dec 22nd - first ever bfp (very faint lines FRER & cheapie)
  • Dec 27th Beta = 192, Dec 29th Beta = 379
  • EDD - Sept 5th 2017

- - -
I'm a YouTube vlogger who talks about Infertility, IVF and Endometriosis. Check it out here!
Follow along at http://liv4today.blog
Instagram @liv4todayvlog 


Re: Poem to share

  • Thank you, I just had a loss. You captured just how I am feeling. Good luck to you on this journey.
  • That really was beautiful and made me cry because I feel like it's exactly what I'm feeling . Thank you so much for sharing .

    **BFP and loss warning**

    Me: 29
    DH: 29
    Us: Married Valentine's Day, 2015
    DH: No issues.
    Me: PCOS, unexplained infertility (whatever that means!!)
    June 2015 Medicated TI cycle: BFN
    July 2015:  Medicated TI cycle: BFN
    August 2015: IUI: BFP. Chemical pregnancy :(
    October 2015: IUI: BFN
    January 2016: Egg retrieval: 10 frozen embryos!
    March 2016: FET Cycle- 2 embryos transferred!: BFP !
  • Loading the player...
  • Aw this is beautiful. This is exactly how I feel after 2 failed IVFS. Thank you for sharing this hope. Prayers and hugs to you.
    TTC for Baby #1 for 3 years. After 2 failed IUI's & IVFs, God blessed us with our miracle :).  FET 12/17/15 (transferred 2 embryos at 5days). First Beta 12/29/15 = 354. Second Beta 12/31/15 = 694. Third Beta 1/7/16 = 6,695.  Finally heard his heartbeat (126)  on 1/14/16 @ our 1st US.  2nd US on 1/21/16, HR was 159.  The most beautiful sound ever :) 
  • Thanks @plumeria05 , @mskeenan and @pascorra ... I'm glad you enjoyed. Big hugs and best wishes to all of you on your journeys too! 
    ---
    Started TTC April 2011
    Me: 32, DH: 32
    Diagnosis: Endometriosis

    • 2012 - 3 Rounds clomid - all BFN
    • 2013 - 1 Fresh IVF with 2 day 3 embryos - BFN
    • 2014 - 1 Frozen IVF with 2 day 5 embryos - BFN
    • Took a long break, continuing trying naturally
    • Feb 2016 - Biopsy = Endo, DH sperm improved from 1% to 6% morphology
    • March 2016 - Fresh IVF cycle with acupuncture & intralipids: 20 eggs retrieved (17 mature), 7 ICSI'd fertilized, 9 naturally fertilized. 16 total embryos!
    • April 8th - 2 embryos (1ICSI and 1 Natural) transferred. (7 blastocysts frozen), April 18th - Beta = BFN
    • Sept 23rd - Lupron Depot Injection for Endo control
    • Nov 15th 2016 - Started daily Lupron Injections for upcoming FET
    • Nov 22 - Baseline US/BW - Intralipid Infusion - Start Meds for FET with immune protocol
    • Dec 16th FET transfer of 3 embryos (1 - AA, 2 - BB)
    • TW below
    • Dec 22nd - first ever bfp (very faint lines FRER & cheapie)
    • Dec 27th Beta = 192, Dec 29th Beta = 379
    • EDD - Sept 5th 2017

    - - -
    I'm a YouTube vlogger who talks about Infertility, IVF and Endometriosis. Check it out here!
    Follow along at http://liv4today.blog
    Instagram @liv4todayvlog 


Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"