Baby shower

maddyclarkin1

Do any of you think a baby shower is too early at 21 weeks?
The reason why I want it so early is because we are doing the gender reveal at the baby shower and everyone won't be able to wait ages!

SaltyMcNulty

When does the hostess want to have the party?

IMHO, 21 weeks is much too early.

Knottie1442268460

Yes. Gender reveal is a separate party if you want that.

2-Step

I think 21 weeks is too early. I also agree that gender reveal parties are tacky, so in my opinion you either scrap the idea of revealing at the party or wait. Personally, I would want to reveal before the party because people love to purchase gender specific clothing and oohhh and ahhh at it at the shower. Especially the grandmas. 

MyCousinVinny

SaltyMcNulty said:

When does the hostess want to have the party?

IMHO, 21 weeks is much too early.

Agree that 21 weeks is too early.

Has your host expressed a desire for a specific date?

pettycrocker

I think 21 wks is super early. We are having my shower at 29wks just because I was trying to accomodate to everyone with the approaching holidays and people were still whining about it being soooo early. Oh well, not doing a shower in the middle of Jan in NE. That's like asking for a blizzard. 

ashton2190

I wouldn't do it now, especially because a lot of people are barely showing (myself included). My mom is hosting a shower for me and she's going to include the sex of the baby on the invitations (a/s is on 10/1 and shower is 12/5)

DrillSergeantCat

Entirely too early.

FinePlacentaPie

A lot of people wait until after the point of viability before having a baby shower. Let your hostess decide, but yes, 21 weeks is fairly early.

CharminglySouthern

21 weeks is too early. I wouldn't even buy anything before 24 weeks, let alone have a shower.

Let your hostess plan your shower.

delujm0

maddyclarkin1 said:

Do any of you think a baby shower is too early at 21 weeks? The reason why I want it so early is because we are doing the gender reveal at the baby shower and everyone won't be able to wait ages!

This implies that you will be keeping the sex a secret from your friends and family, but finding out what it is yourselves prior to the shower.  Is that accurate?  I think sex reveal parties are tacky PAY-ATTENTION-TO-ME-fests anyway, but that is the absolute worst kind.  The only fun thing about being a guest at a sex reveal is seeing the look on the parents' faces when they find out what they're having.  If the parents already know, I'm much happier to get a text message or phone call about it.  In the grand scheme of things, no one but the parents really care what the sex is...they just want to know that you're having a healthy baby.

 

Also I agree with prior posters...the shower happens whenever the host is offering to throw it.  I had two showers - one at 28 weeks and one at 32 weeks, because that's when the hostesses offered to have them.

fwtx5815

1. Your host should take the lead on picking a date (though it should be a day that works for you, obviously) and yes, 21 weeks is way too early
2. Sex reveals are annoying IMO, but if you're finding out before your guests then there's absolutely no point in doing a "reveal"
3. I think you overestimate how much people care about your baby's genitalia. Unless I misunderstood and you and your SO are planning on finding out with everyone else. But still, it's not that exciting for people other than the soon-to-be parents and grandparents.

Gingermom15

Why not do something fun for yourselves such as taking the envelope to a bakery and getting yourself and your husband cupcakes with pink or blue filling? And then something bigger to announce it to everyone, like recording pink or blue balloons being released from a box, popping a ballon with pink or blue confetti etc and sending to people or putting it on Facebook and tagging people? Gender reveals are more for the parents to be. I don't see anyone else having the same anticipation as you.
Save the celebration for a later date when everyone knows what the baby is. People like to shop accordingly.

FinePlacentaPie

fwtx5815 said:

1. Your host should take the lead on picking a date (though it should be a day that works for you, obviously) and yes, 21 weeks is way too early 2. Sex reveals are annoying IMO, but if you're finding out before your guests then there's absolutely no point in doing a "reveal" 3. I think you overestimate how much people care about your baby's genitalia. Unless I misunderstood and you and your SO are planning on finding out with everyone else. But still, it's not that exciting for people other than the soon-to-be parents and grandparents.

This. The whole point of a reveal is to surprise everyone at once, including the parents to be. I never understood the fun of it if the guests don't get to see the reaction from the parents.

PrimRoseMama

Too early & your hostess should decide the date. The way you phrase this, it sounds like you are throwing your own...

maddyclarkin1

I have changed it to a later date and I don't see a problem of hosting it myself?

MyCousinVinny

maddyclarkin1 said:

I have changed it to a later date and I don't see a problem of hosting it myself?

A shower is a gift to the MTB and it's also a gift giving event.  Hosting one for yourself is seen as very rude, as you're basically telling people "BRING ME PRESENTS!"

A shower is thrown FOR the MTB to welcome her to motherhood by someone else.  If someone doesn't offer, then you don't have one.

CharminglySouthern

maddyclarkin1 said:

I have changed it to a later date and I don't see a problem of hosting it myself?

You don't see a problem with hosting a party in your own honor asking people to bring you gifts.?

MrsAlabamaWorley

maddyclarkin1 said:

I have changed it to a later date and I don't see a problem of hosting it myself?

All aboard the tacky train! Choo choo

djdawn29a

Any shower I have been to, the mother to be was at least 7 months along.

PrimRoseMama

maddyclarkin1 said:

I have changed it to a later date and I don't see a problem of hosting it myself?

Oh dear. Bless your heart.

desertheart

Lurking, but I agree that you would never host a shower for yourself. 

I am going to have a shower early at 25wk.  I live out-of-state and only have enough time off to make one trip home during my pregnancy.  I'm planning on going home for another family event, and my cousins and aunts (their idea) wanted to give a shower at that time.  

4N6s

Oh brother....

SaltyMcNulty

maddyclarkin1 said:

I have changed it to a later date and I don't see a problem of hosting it myself?

It's rude, tacky, and thoughtless?

SaltyMcNulty

CharminglySouthern said:

I have changed it to a later date and I don't see a problem of hosting it myself?

You don't see a problem with hosting a party in your own honor asking people to bring you gifts.?

Let's play baby shower BINGO! Cue any of the following responses:

• no one has offered;
• we just want to celebrate the baby;
• I want my shower a certain way, so I'll just plan it myself;
• People throw birthday parties for themselves, that's a gift giving event, so I don't see the difference;
• Y'all are stuck in the 1900s. This is 2015, not 1915!

DrillSergeantCat

I have a friend who's offered a shower, but seems to now be unwilling to plan it. Therefore, I may not have a shower. Does it bother me that my friend has reneged on her offer, yes. Am I going to go ahead and throw one myself anway? No.

GAgirlinSDakota

maddyclarkin1 said:

I have changed it to a later date and I don't see a problem of hosting it myself?

Mallory15

I have a friend who has a huge family (hers and her husbands) so she ended up having 3 showers, one her husband's side threw for her, one her side threw for her and then a third one she threw for herself for her friends.  At first it seemed weird and I felt bad that she felt she had to do that, but everyone is close enough that it's not asking for presents.  We know we're all going to get her something anyway and this way no one had to feel the pressure of spending money on a shower AND a gift, she has a very good job so just had it catered at her home and it was the best shower I've ever been to.  We didn't do any annoying games, she passed out a couple things while everyone was drinking and mingling and then handed out presents to those who won the games.  It was very low-key and felt more like a huge girls night than a shower.  If your situation was similar to this one, I say go for it- this one turned out great.  But if you're running your own games and measuring your own belly with a string for people to win the guess how big the belly is game, I don't think that's a good idea.  As far as the gender reveal- I love those, but have always thought of them as a private event... either do it now if you can't wait to tell people and have a few close friends and family apart of it... or do it at the shower and have NO gender specific items given to you while you're there.  Lots of things to consider, but in the end, it's how you and your SO feel about things.  Good luck, hope everything turns out to be a blast. 

PrimRoseMama

Mallory15 said:

I have a friend who has a huge family (hers and her husbands) so she ended up having 3 showers, one her husband's side threw for her, one her side threw for her and then a third one she threw for herself for her friends.  At first it seemed weird and I felt bad that she felt she had to do that, but everyone is close enough that it's not asking for presents.  We know we're all going to get her something anyway and this way no one had to feel the pressure of spending money on a shower AND a gift, she has a very good job so just had it catered at her home and it was the best shower I've ever been to.  We didn't do any annoying games, she passed out a couple things while everyone was drinking and mingling and then handed out presents to those who won the games.  It was very low-key and felt more like a huge girls night than a shower.  If your situation was similar to this one, I say go for it- this one turned out great.  But if you're running your own games and measuring your own belly with a string for people to win the guess how big the belly is game, I don't think that's a good idea.  As far as the gender reveal- I love those, but have always thought of them as a private event... either do it now if you can't wait to tell people and have a few close friends and family apart of it... or do it at the shower and have NO gender specific items given to you while you're there.  Lots of things to consider, but in the end, it's how you and your SO feel about things.  Good luck, hope everything turns out to be a blast. 

Please do not encourage this.

~X(

GAgirlinSDakota

Mallory15 said:

I have a friend who has a huge family (hers and her husbands) so she ended up having 3 showers, one her husband's side threw for her, one her side threw for her and then a third one she threw for herself for her friends.  At first it seemed weird and I felt bad that she felt she had to do that, but everyone is close enough that it's not asking for presents.  We know we're all going to get her something anyway and this way no one had to feel the pressure of spending money on a shower AND a gift, she has a very good job so just had it catered at her home and it was the best shower I've ever been to.  We didn't do any annoying games, she passed out a couple things while everyone was drinking and mingling and then handed out presents to those who won the games.  It was very low-key and felt more like a huge girls night than a shower.  If your situation was similar to this one, I say go for it- this one turned out great.  But if you're running your own games and measuring your own belly with a string for people to win the guess how big the belly is game, I don't think that's a good idea.  As far as the gender reveal- I love those, but have always thought of them as a private event... either do it now if you can't wait to tell people and have a few close friends and family apart of it... or do it at the shower and have NO gender specific items given to you while you're there.  Lots of things to consider, but in the end, it's how you and your SO feel about things.  Good luck, hope everything turns out to be a blast. 

sarahufl

Gender reveals are horribly tacky. Also, 21 weeks is just way too early.

And ditto PPs, I would totally side-eye anyone who threw their own shower.

jonesl12

I don't even know what to say to this. It's like throwing yourself a graduation party but registering for gifts on top of it. People just don't do that.

GracieHart

I'm assuming OP isnt coming back.

maddyclarkin1

I find it quite rude how all of you haven't actually tried to help me out and have basically just said that I am rude and tacky. I am a first time mum so have no idea of what I am supposed to do and is why I was asking on this chat to get some advice, not to be judged.

Torpedogirl

I think gender reveals are cute with close family and a great idea. I wouldn't have an actual party but host dinner and have a cake for dessert maybe with the pink or blue. As for throwing your own shower that is not usually taken well. I don't see anything wrong with helping someone if they need it but it would be much nicer if you just showed up.

Edited to answer your question. Yes it is very early at 21 weeks. You need time to make sure baby is healthy and no issues. Also, most are held around 30-34 weeks from what I have seen.

jonesl12

maddyclarkin1 said:

I find it quite rude how all of you haven't actually tried to help me out and have basically just said that I am rude and tacky. I am a first time mum so have no idea of what I am supposed to do and is why I was asking on this chat to get some advice, not to be judged.

We are helping you out by being honest and telling you the truth. Its better that we tell you than for you to make yourself look tacky to your friends and family who might be too nice to say their thoughts to your face. You ask for opinions and shouldn't expect everybody to agree with you.

DrillSergeantCat

It's better for a bunch of internet strangers to tell you you're being rude by throwing your own shower than for your family and friends to say it behind your back.

ecwk

maddyclarkin1 said:

I find it quite rude how all of you haven't actually tried to help me out and have basically just said that I am rude and tacky. I am a first time mum so have no idea of what I am supposed to do and is why I was asking on this chat to get some advice, not to be judged.

Uh oh sounds like someone isn't happy with the cold hard truth!! You did get advice, great advice, you just obviously don't care for it. Better for your actions to be judged by Internet strangers than family and friends.

wassuphoes

maddyclarkin1 said:

I find it quite rude how all of you haven't actually tried to help me out and have basically just said that I am rude and tacky. I am a first time mum so have no idea of what I am supposed to do and is why I was asking on this chat to get some advice, not to be judged.

OP "Hi I want to throw an early baby shower for my self"

Everyone "Don't throw an early baby shower for yourself. It's too early and rude."

OP "Well, YOU'RE all rude for not helping me."

Everyone " sigh"

PrimRoseMama

maddyclarkin1 said:

I find it quite rude how all of you haven't actually tried to help me out and have basically just said that I am rude and tacky. I am a first time mum so have no idea of what I am supposed to do and is why I was asking on this chat to get some advice, not to be judged.

Well, I'm sorry that you feel judged. It doesn't change the basic fact that many find showers for subsequent children tacky and throwing your own tacky too. We are allowed to state our opinions on what we find tacky. Its a free country and all.

I really am trying to do you a solid by keeping you from committing social faux pas. If you want to do that and create drama for yourself, then that is your business.