Don't know what to think. - update

boxtonmom1014 · September 2015

Hi. I'm new here, or at least haven't been here for a long time.

After 8 years of infertility, 4 losses and 2 successful IVF babies, I got a surprise positive pregnancy test on 8/30.

On 9/9 I saw my OB. Based on my LMP I should have been around six and a half weeks. My u/s only conclusively showed a sac. My dr said it could be "really early" or not viable. She did labs (my progesterone came back at 12.6 and my HCG at 17,000) and the next day when she got the results prescribed me progesterone supplements and a f/u HCG for the next day. My f/u came back at 23,000ish. Not even close to where we wanted it. At this point, I was sure this pregnancy wasn't going to make it.

On the 17th I went in for an ultrasound, positive she would tell me there was nothing to see. Instead we saw a yolk sac, a fetus measuring around 6w2d, and a freaking heartbeat!

My OB's initial thought was to be "cautiously optimistic". However, I've been here before. One of my losses was a pregnancy that looked good initially, then measured behind a week later, then progressed for a week, and then showed no hb a week after that.

I might be able to take my dr's advice about being cautiously optimistic, but there are too many thing that are off for me. The HCG, measuring where I am when it doesn't seem to mesh with either my LMP or when I got my + HPT.

I go back on the 30th- we tried to get something this week but there were no availabilities. (and we could potentially see more at 8w.) But I'm having a really hard time. My mood sucks and I feel like I'm slogging through the days. On top of that I feel icky (no nausea, just general ickiness) which in theory could be "a good sign" except I had that with that previous loss as well.

So internet cookies for you if you got through all that. I guess I'm just looking for advice and experiences but mostly encouragement and support...

BKNJN · September 2015

Hi @boxtonmom1014 ! I am so sorry you are going through this. Waiting is so unnerving and unsettling. Please know I am thinking of you and praying for a sticky baby! Try to stay positive and remember that today you are pregnant. So enjoy it!

Please keep us posted!

bntfroggie · September 2015

My fingers are crossed for you and your family. I hope you get good news. I can't speak to numbers or experience since we aren't sure what went wrong with our first little one, but this one I'm 12+5wks now seems to be thriving. I wish you the best.

wilkat2009 · September 2015

I am praying that you get goods news. Its hard not to worry when you have been through as much as you have. But there are a lot of positive outcomes on this board so hopefully you can find comfort in those until you get some more goods news of your own.

cmerribury · September 2015

Just chiming in to let you know what I'm thinking of you as well and hoping for a positive outcome for you on the 30th. We are all pulling for you! Some things that worked for me (in terms of distracting myself and trying to stay positive) were: reading really good books, meditation, and (though this is terrible) eating all the sweets I wanted...I never do that, so it made me feel happy. Please keep us posted.

kimey1 · September 2015

Same here. Sending you positive thoughts and virtual hugs. Do keep us posted

mwmiller4 · September 2015

I'm thinking of you as well. I have a friend who just went through the same thing--just a yolk sac when there should have been an embryo based on dates, a week later there was an embryo an heartbeat and then the wait. She's 28 weeks now, so it absolutely can work out! I will keep everything crossed that it's the exact same situation for you! I'll be thinking of you--the waiting is so awful!

rojabonita · September 2015

You'll be in my thoughts. I have my 8w U/S on the 30th as well. I haven't ever made it past late 7 weeks so I'm a ball of nerves as well. I have days where I'm nauseous all day and days that I feel nothing. It's nerve wracking. Only one week. I hope we both have very positive check ups!

MrsO11/24/2006 · September 2015

I am right there with you..I had mmc in 2011 found out at 12w2d baby stopped growing at 8w6d...I am going for a u/s tomorrow..I have had two already with this pregnancy and all looks ok, but I am dreading tomorrow b/c I also saw my mmc twice and was told all looks good too..you are in my thoughts...I hate these feelings...

boxtonmom1014 · September 2015

@MrsO11/24/2006 That is exactly what I went through in my pregnancy with my first son. I was so anxious at every single appointment I would have a panic attack.

@rojabonita fingers crossed for both of us!

@mwmiller4 thank you for sharing your friends story! That's helpful to hear.

Thanks everyone for the support and thoughts!

boxtonmom1014 · September 2015

Thanks to everyone for the kind words.

At my u/s today it was determined that the heart stopped beating at least a week ago. I'm really sad, but at least have some closure.

Good luck to you all.