Intoduction: Long time Step-mom 1st time TTC

saratee99

Hello everyone,

I am married with a beautiful 8 year-old SD. I have been with her dad since she was 1yo and we are co-parenting as best we can with her BM and SF. DH and I are now TTC so I am just lurking around and thought I would say hello. Blended families are a wonderful and complex thing. The most annoying thing I am coming across right now is people saying "just wait until you have one of your own!" Or, "I'm sure you love (SD) but you will never REALLY know love until you hold your own baby." It breaks my heart and I don't think people understand the love you can truly feel for your step-children. I've watched her grow, kissed her owies, read her bed time stories, bathed her, held her hand on the way to school and SO many more mommy moments.. Does anyone else experience this?

andrialehna

I am new here, have two stepchildren, and also ttc. Being a stepparent is something I feel anyone who has not been one can never understand. Our feelings are so much harder to explain when whom we are trying to explain them to has never been in our position. I have been around since SS was a few months (now 3) and SD was 1 (now 4). We have been there through it all like BM but they don't see it from our perspective. I wouldn't take to heart what others say about your love for SD as only you know how much you love her and you don't need to defend yourself to it. Everyone on my DHs side has fought against me and told me I don't get to make any decisions with the children as I am not their mother. DH always backs me up of course but only time, maturity, and understanding can really show others in hopes they will someday understand. Just keep living your SD and good luck on your ttc journey!