Dumb things guys say

yogahh

For how smart my DH is, he is pretty clueless on the whole TTC process. For example, last night, I was getting a bit queasy from my prenatal (just started one with iron and it bothers me if I don't eat enough). He asked if it could mean I am pregnant, and asked when symptoms start. As I am explaining its just my prenatal, he said "oh ok, I just thought you got symptoms the morning after"... He seriously thought morning sickness starts the day after conception??!!??!!

Another thing that made me LOL is when he said we should find out the date that his friend and his wife had sex, because they had their baby at the exact time of year we ideally would want (he is a teacher and has summers off, so if we could have a baby in June it would work out perfectly for us). The man I love, who I think is smarter than most people, really thinks if we have sex of "x" date that all will work out!!

Anyone else have a SO that just doesn't seem to get it?  Anything funny they have said to share?

m6agua

DH said to me "lets make a baby" and I said that it would be impossible right now because I am in my TWW and already ovulated. He said "well hurry up and ovulate already!" I am like, that is not how this works. He was joking around, but he is still pretty clueless about everything.

dsmith211

My DH is one of those people who always says 'It will happen when it happens', 'All it takes is one', etc when I tell him about timing BD. He's generally pretty bad with time in general so I've gotten used to it, but when he says stuff like above it drives me nuts, considering those are last things I want to hear.

He likes to research things, so I didn't think it would be so much of a problem getting him to understand. In terms of TTGP however he's taking the laissez faire approach... :-|

KristieA

My husband asked me if I could ovulate on a specific day. I was like ummm no.

housewifehobbyist

H is generally pretty good, and I try to drop little facts here and there to educate him on a woman's reproductive cycle, but I must have failed somewhere along the line. I told him this morning it looks like I had ovulated Sunday and he asked if this meant I was "regular" after HBC and would start ovulating every Sunday.

I think he's also much more "it will happen when it happens" and I'm more comfortable DOING something to get to the goal, even if it is just charting.

lalalorelai

A few times after sex during my fertile week, H has poked my belly and said: "baby? You in there?" 

Also, I was trying to explain what a short LP meant (that, even if his sperm did fertilize an egg, there may not be enough time for the blastocyst to implant, and when I start my period the blastocyst would just be expelled along with my uterine lining). His response: "So, you could have just period-ed out our baby???" Thanks, H, that's supportive. He did make me laugh though  

ETA: where the hell did my avatar go??

KristieA

Oh another one. I got a + OPK today. After we had sex this evening I told DH we would be doing it again tomorrow and he was like 'we'll see'. We'll see? Really?! Get your sperm in my uterus.

yogahh

KristieA said:

Oh another one. I got a + OPK today. After we had sex this evening I told DH we would be doing it again tomorrow and he was like 'we'll see'. We'll see? Really?! Get your sperm in my uterus.

DH told me last week during my FW one night (which happened to be my birthday) that his "penis wasn't feeling it". Well, maybe my vagina isn't feeling it but suck it up and impregnant me mister!!!

dsmith211

KristieA said:

Oh another one. I got a + OPK today. After we had sex this evening I told DH we would be doing it again tomorrow and he was like 'we'll see'. We'll see? Really?! Get your sperm in my uterus.

Ugh. This is my DH every single cycle. Then he says 'but we the things I read say we only have to do it EOD'. That's when I want to scream 'but I have a +OPK, suck it up'.

KristieA

Tell him there is more current info out there that unless he has a low sperm count he's fine for everyday. That ended that argument in our house.

KristieA

Oh I have a doozie of a one, especially considering how it turned out. When I got pregnant my DH kept referring to me as a little bit pregnant until I lost it with him and told him it was a binary thing, you are or you aren't. And then it turned out to be a CP. I'm still annoyed about that one.

saladflambe

My DH has actually been pretty smart about everything...he mostly leaves it to me. The WOMEN in my family who know we're trying, on the other hand...

"Just go off birth control, have sex for 2 weeks, and boom. Pregnant."

"You're over-thinking it" (response to temping)

"You read too much" (response to my knowing there's only a 20% chance of conception even if you time perfectly)

Apparently everyone in my family got pregnant month 1. Seriously...

KyCat

Even though I have explained temping to DH several times now, on the mornings when he is awake while I'm taking my temp, he'll wait until the thermometer beeps, and then say something like, "Well? Are you pregnant yet?"

RachelT1234

***potential TMI?***

My H is a researcher and after getting ahold of my TCOYF book he now knows more than I do. Sex was a bit painful last month on one occasion so we stopped and he later said, your cervix must just be low so you aren't fertile now anyway! Wth dude.

yogahh

KyCat said:

Even though I have explained temping to DH several times now, on the mornings when he is awake while I'm taking my temp, he'll wait until the thermometer beeps, and then say something like, "Well? Are you pregnant yet?"

Hands down, fav gif. Everytime it pops up on a thread, I have a lil chuckle.

mkc3888

One day he asked me when I expect my period so he would know when to test.  I told him "I don't know; I haven't ovulated yet"  He then asked when I could test.  I had to explain the whole thing about how o time determines the length of cycle and how it can change.  I guess he just assumed since most of my cycles have been 30ish days this one would be too, but no, this is my first cycle off of BCP that is over 32 days.  Based on O I"m expecting a 39 day cycle.  

Edit: words are hard

benicode

 MH is constantly trying to get in my pants, I swear he has the sex drive of a teenager.  He's constantly saying, let's try to make a baby.  I'm like, right now is not the time for that, I already ovulated, or I'm on my period.  He's like, well just let me know!!  Or, after we have sex, he'll be like, let's do it again just to make sure there's enough sperm there.  

JessieGrrl

My husband asked me, only half-jokingly, "can you make yourself ovulate sooner? Like, just bear down or something?"

chicandbubbly

First cycle ttc my husband asked me literally every day (starting from O day) if I was pregnant yet. I nipped that in the bud pretty quick. [-X LOL.

vinerie

Oooh boy, can I relate. We had this convo over text just this afternoon:

H: Looks like I'm going straight from Denver to Miami (from one business trip to another)

Me: Noooo!

H: What?

Me: You'll be gone during the FW

H: What is FW?

Me: Fertile window

H: Oh

H: Could you send me a list of when those will be the next few months so I can plan my schedule around them?

penelope4612

KyCat said:

Even though I have explained temping to DH several times now, on the mornings when he is awake while I'm taking my temp, he'll wait until the thermometer beeps, and then say something like, "Well? Are you pregnant yet?"

Also my favorite.GIF.ever.

I am on CD 30.  I am so tired of waiting to ovulate.  My husband understands science and has generally been on board with the whole temping/tracking thing.  He asked me yesterday when I would take a pregnancy test.  I told him I haven't ovulated yet and therefore can't be pregnant.  He was like, "well maybe your temps just didn't rise".  Um, ok. No.  

clt2pwm11

dsmith211 said:

Oh another one. I got a + OPK today. After we had sex this evening I told DH we would be doing it again tomorrow and he was like 'we'll see'. We'll see? Really?! Get your sperm in my uterus.

Ugh. This is my DH every single cycle. Then he says 'but we the things I read say we only have to do it EOD'. That's when I want to scream 'but I have a +OPK, suck it up'.

We just had this argument last night! We had a bad dinner with friends who have a baby. My H is willing to procreate, but isn't as thrilled as I am, so their upset pumpkin put him in shock. When we got home, we really needed to get down to business, but he wasn't having it. So we had to talk it through, sleep a little while, and then wake up to get busy in the middle of the night. I was like "yo, we gotta do this or the baby won't happen. This is our fw time!!!"

yogahh

Not something said irl, but had to share. Reading a new book, and one of the main characters is making fun of her friend for having "vaginal discharge sometimes". Lol... Sounds like she needs to read tcoyf!!

Spylon

Oh my god, these made me laugh so hard! I think the majority of men are a little in the dark about TTC. 

DH: "Don't worry. You'll get pregnant right away. Pretty sure I have super sperm."

0Face

This isn't TTC related, but when I had the IUD and mentioned the string, he was concerned it would poke him in the penis.

Ha.  You wish!

AL_TwinCities

vinerie said:

Oooh boy, can I relate. We had this convo over text just this afternoon:

H: Looks like I'm going straight from Denver to Miami (from one business trip to another)

Me: Noooo!

H: What?

Me: You'll be gone during the FW

H: What is FW?

Me: Fertile window

H: Oh

H: Could you send me a list of when those will be the next few months so I can plan my schedule around them?

Totally there with you! After two months of DH being on call during my FW, I texted him dates to avoid being on call next month, including my likely FW, which I wrote as "sexy time". He told his boss he was busy that week and couldn't be on call

R0824H

DH also uses the "let's make a baby" line!!! and has also asked "did you get that egg white stuff yet? That means we'll have a baby right?" ....No dear egg white does not equal baby has been made

benicode

JessieGrrl said:

My husband asked me, only half-jokingly, "can you make yourself ovulate sooner? Like, just bear down or something?"

This is so funny to me b/c i live in Chicago and Bears fans are always saying "Bear Down!" before games.

WitandWhimsy

Well I have educated my fiancé pretty good so far about TTC. His grandmother on the other hand once told him that I should see a doctor and tell them when my last period was so they can figure out when I'm ovulating -sigh- #-o

cjt121413

Before we decided to postpone TTC for my new job, DH was not interested in details but up to the "challenge" of HIO. He said, "can you just put an F on the calendar on the days we need to do it? " Such a romantic. And so I put F's on the calendar.

lsalvag1

I would never call my SO dumb, but he really thinks my obsession with FF and TB is unnecessary. His response to my POAS addiction: "all of that is not necessary. You'll know if you're pregnant when you start puking." Oh...okay...

N021282

KristieA said:

Oh I have a doozie of a one, especially considering how it turned out. When I got pregnant my DH kept referring to me as a little bit pregnant until I lost it with him and told him it was a binary thing, you are or you aren't. And then it turned out to be a CP. I'm still annoyed about that one.

I had a blighted ovum. The day after we found out DH came to me and said that we actually had a "best case scenario", because I wasn't really pregnant and it didn't really count as a miscarriage. 

He really meant well and thought it would make me feel better, but I wanted to throat punch him. Men really are clueless.

AgGal2010

My husband only refers to sex as mating since we started TTC. Really takes the romance out when he says things like "is it time for you to be mated?" or "what is our mating pattern this week?" He has even gone so far as to humming "you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals....."

Like really dude? I am still your wife and a HUMAN BEING.

ladeuce13

lsalvag1 said:

I would never call my SO dumb, but he really thinks my obsession with FF and TB is unnecessary. His response to my POAS addiction: "all of that is not necessary. You'll know if you're pregnant when you start puking."
Oh...okay...

A few months ago, my DH said something similar like "you can't be pregnant. You haven't thrown up or anything." Newsflash - I haven't thrown up in over 30 years ... I'd be pretty surprised if it just started happening even with all those hormones! (Shoot, did I just jinx myself?!?)

gravcass

AgGal2010 said:

My husband only refers to sex as mating since we started TTC. Really takes the romance out when he says things like "is it time for you to be mated?" or "what is our mating pattern this week?" He has even gone so far as to humming "you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals....."

Like really dude? I am still your wife and a HUMAN BEING.

Now I'm going to have this song in my head ALL DAY! )

For some reason I despise the word Mate when used as a term for sex or a partner. I don't know what it is but the word just makes me auto roll my eyes.

yogahh

viabug said:

My husband only refers to sex as mating since we started TTC. Really takes the romance out when he says things like "is it time for you to be mated?" or "what is our mating pattern this week?" He has even gone so far as to humming "you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals....." Like really dude? I am still your wife and a HUMAN BEING.

Now I'm going to have this song in my head ALL DAY! ) For some reason I despise the word Mate when used as a term for sex or a partner. I don't know what it is but the word just makes me auto roll my eyes.

Its better than "breed". I knew a guy in college that would use that as his pick up like "hey baby, want to breed tonight". Made me throw up in my mouth a bit everytime I heard him say it.

**edited because I apparently do not have a firm grasp of the English language today.

smfeuro

My mom used to refer to DH and I making a baby as screwing. Uh no. Just. Don't. Gross.

AgGal2010

viabug said:

AgGal2010 said:

My husband only refers to sex as mating since we started TTC. Really takes the romance out when he says things like "is it time for you to be mated?" or "what is our mating pattern this week?" He has even gone so far as to humming "you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals....."

Like really dude? I am still your wife and a HUMAN BEING.

Now I'm going to have this song in my head ALL DAY! )

For some reason I despise the word Mate when used as a term for sex or a partner. I don't know what it is but the word just makes me auto roll my eyes.

Believe me I don't like it either!!!!! I know he is kidding because he never referred to it as this before we started TTC but it honestly weirds me out.

FloridaStanley

Kaydeeaye said:

lsalvag1 said:

I would never call my SO dumb, but he really thinks my obsession with FF and TB is unnecessary. His response to my POAS addiction: "all of that is not necessary. You'll know if you're pregnant when you start puking."
Oh...okay...

A few months ago, my DH said something similar like "you can't be pregnant. You haven't thrown up or anything." Newsflash - I haven't thrown up in over 30 years ... I'd be pretty surprised if it just started happening even with all those hormones! (Shoot, did I just jinx myself?!?)

**trigger warning- child/pregnancy mentioned**
When I was pregnant with DS, I never got sick. I really thought I was going to twice- and one of those was when I was being prepped for my csection. I had a bunch of weird symptoms people never talk about, which was weird lol.

KarenBeth714

cjt121413  LOL! I'm sure my DH would love to see an "F" on the calendar.. no guessing game.

He hasn't said anything that stupid, although I've only had to explain each stage of the cycle to him a few times and what times you are likely to get pregnant.

NLewis1

ftrMrs0 said:

This isn't TTC related, but when I had the IUD and mentioned the string, he was concerned it would poke him in the penis.

Ha.  You wish!

This is actually a real thing. My dr left my strings at an odd length and had trimmed them at an odd angle. Basically, it was like I had a tiny needle pointing directly out of my cervix. The first time we had sex after getting it, it legit hurt my husband. I had to go back to the dr and have her trim them back again.

Needless to say my H was very apprehensive the next time we had sex.