To twin or not to twin

peregrinefalconx

Hi all,

It's been a while!!

So we are doing donor egg after a history much like any of you would imagine. I'm structurally sound down there and all and just missed my window of using my own eggs after several MCs.
Apparently it's "up to me" of whether or not to put in two embryos (according to doc). They have the same 60% pregnancy rate with 1 or 2, but with 2 a 30-50% chance of twins. We aren't there yet (mid-Sept) but I have really mixed feelings about putting two in...the idea of twins (if they both make it) is cute and all but there are so many not very good realities. The only positive thing I can think of is that I would just be done with babies after this--no trying to do FET at age 42 or something for baby #2. The rest is just anxiety about the health of the babies, my health, and then the normal twin worries. I see many people on here who have had twins. How did you decide? How did you do?

My anxiety is so high about all of this at this point. I've had too much time stewing (almost 3 years), have heard too many awful stories, read too much, etc. (had to get away from these forums even!)

Thanks!

kfras

Hi! Haven't been on the boards since we first started TTC and now it has been a few months since we found out our situation - hubby has azoospermia and we will need to use donor sperm. We will inevitably be starting IVF (thinking a six month time frame). Sounds nice that your dr gave you the option; our fertility dr said he only puts one embryo in because if he puts two then I am likely to have twins. I want to speak with him again about this. Sorry I do not have experience with this yet, kind of weighing the pros and cons same as you. With the costs of IVF, strain on us, Etc I was thinking have twins would be nice. Also, I know there is always a chance (even if it is small) that twins could occur during the fertilization. Something about knowing twins wasn't a possibility made me sad. If our dr agrees to two, we would prefer to have two embryos. Let me know what you decide, I would love to hear the rest of your story. Lots of luck

CinciSurro

As a GC, I agreed to transfer two embryos because the intended parents wanted twins. Perhaps more bang for their buck. I had three easy singleton pregnancies and very large babies so thought I could handle twins. I was very anxious about the possibility of needing a c-section though.

I did not need a c-section as baby A was head down and they were able to pull baby B down successfully. However, I ended up in the hospital at 33 weeks on bedrest and stayed until I had them at 36 weeks.  I also became anemic and have two hernias I need to deal with now.  The twin pregnancy was just really different and tougher on me than all my other pregnancies.

But the end result was perfection, they were almost 7lbs each and healthy.  I am 36 and I would not transfer two again if they ask me to try for a sibling.  No more twins for me!  GL

peregrinefalconx

CinciSurro, Wow. Yes, quite a story! {I'm not sure you say congrats or what not} But job well done. Thank you for sharing. An "easy" singleton pregnancy sounds good to me.

kfras

Yeah, I'd rather just put one in and see how it plays out instead of having a higher chance of twins. That is interesting your doc said specifically only one. I know the tide is turning that way, but stats say that only 10% of transfers are single embryo. I'll take my chances. I like the idea of just having one child only anyway! I mean, I love being devoted to my one cat, so...

Good luck to you!! I'd be interested to hear what you decide! And yes, the egg can split anyway, so I understand

e74

That is such a hard decision and one that only you can make which makes it all the more stressful.. We were strongly encouraged to put 2 back... And we did several times... The 6th time, I ended up pregnant with twins. While I love my twins dearly, the pregnancy was anything but easy. I was a nervous wreck the whole time, ended up in the hospital at 23 weeks due to preterm labor, had them at 31 weeks, and they were in two different NICUs... However, I have heard people who have had relatively uneventful twin pregnancies... So hard to decide... Good luck!

hayleydeee

It's a tough choice to make, no doubt about that. One thing to consider is the amount of outside help you'll have. Having twins is much easier if you have people nearby who can be there to help... and not even just when they're little. My twins are 3.5 now, and I still need help!

My boys were the result of IVF, and I'm on this board now because we are considering donating our leftover embryos for adoption. 

We made the choice to put two back because it was our first round of IVF. We didn't know what to expect and wanted to have the best chance possible. Then we were incredibly fortunate, and surprised that they both stuck.

But, the pregnancy was tough. Everything literally felt 2x more severe than it did with my first (singleton) pregnancy. I was twice as sick, twice as tired, and it felt like I was twice the size! I did go into preterm labor at 31 weeks, but they were able to stop it (not a pleasant experience, but still one I was grateful for). After that, I spent a week in the hospital being monitored. Then I was on bedrest at home, until Baby A's water broke at 36 weeks. Because Baby A was breech I had to have a C-section. For me personally, the c-section was much harder than my vaginal birth had been. They were in the NICU for a week, just for feeding and growing. Today they are two strong healthy boys... who keep me very busy!

One other thing to think about is your finances. Right now I'm paying for 2 preschool tuitions simultaneously, and will someday probably be doing the same for college. It would have been easier on our budget to have had them a few years apart in school.  When they were little we needed to buy double the amount of diapers, double of a lot of baby gear, and so on. Just something to think about...

But all that being said, overall it is completely doable! You adapt, you do what you have to do, and you simply make it work. I'm even at the point now where I feel like I could have a 4th! (DH isn't on board though). It is so much fun having twins, and I love that they have each other. I feel like a sibling is such a gift, and it's special that they are even further bonded by the fact that they're twins. 

Good luck with whatever you decide! 

peregrinefalconx

hayleydeee

You know, you spend so much time in the trying to get and stay pregnant phase that the idea of actually being a parent gets shuffled aside. Unless my doc highly recommends transferring two, we'll be doing one. I'd prefer my first shot at motherhood, at age 41, to be as balanced and manageable as possible (is that possible, lol?)

That is interesting about the embryo adoption. We had to sign all these papers about what we would do with any leftover embryos if we died, if we didn't claim them by 51. We'll just see if we get there! I do think donating is being of great service to somebody/a couple!

Angelic789

Hi, hun! I’ve already written the post concerning the dilemma how many embies should be placed. So will also say here. I understand what makes you so anxious. The same thing was for us. As for the number of embryos I read quite often women discussing it. We passed IVF with donor eggs in Biotexcom some time ago. Now I'm an exhausted but happy mother of 1 mo boy. The point is that we could chose between putting back 1-3 embryos. But if only twins or triplets pregnancy was not prohibited to me due to my health issues. So with this matter everything was all right and we agreed to place 2 nice 5-day blasts. How deeply had I been dreaming about twins! If only it could happen to us!
Though there have been lots of contradictive thoughts on the point on forums. I remember one lady shared her experience with transferring 2 embryos. Her body turned out to be unable to carry both babies to the due date.. Sorry for sharing this episode but she advised only 1 embryo to be put in, in case ladies or their docs are not sure of the consequences.
Wish you all the best of luck with your decision X

knottie0f0a3fa6ea0fe637

Hello,

We just had our 3rd embryo implantation in December. We only did a single egg in the first 2 transfers in early 2023 and lost all 3 of our grade A female embryos…2 didn’t take and 1 didn't survive the thawing process during the second transfer. In Dec we had 2 grade A male embryos transferred into our GC at the clinic’s recommendation because the first two single-embryo transfers were unsuccessful and it so happens that both male embryos were successful. Our GC is currently carrying our twin boys. We started out with 3 female and 7 male high-quality embryos and did PGS on all 10. We’re pretty sure the first 2 failed because that GC candidate had a C-section within 14 mos of the first transfer and we used her again for the second one. The clinic claimed the C-section had nothing to do with the failures, but I don’t believe it. I’m scared of the thought of twins and I’m going to have to quit the job I love, but this is our reality and we knew the chances when we signed up. The more I think about it, the more I get excited, but I’m also very concerned for my GC’s wellbeing because she’s an older mom.

It IS a tough call to make, but only you can make the decision, regardless of our advice because we all have different origin stories. I sincerely hope you find peace, whichever route you go.