Need some advice

schnookee

I posted the other day asking about the name Weston. The reason I asked Is because we are changing our baby's name and that is what we're considering changing it to. While I do like it better than his current name, it's not my #1 choice. My husband's name is Wesley and while I do like his name I'd rather our son not have the same exact name. We agreed on a middle name of Gray after someone in my family but my husband is pretty insistent that his first name be either Weston or Wesley. I definitely want to change my sons name but I think I'm still really nervous about it because those two names wouldn't be my first choice. I also prefer Weston because it's a little different than my husbands name but I'm not too thrilled about it after learning about the trendiness of it. Should I just give in and chose one of them and be done with it or still try to fight for something else? I'm so scared of changing his name and still feeling how I do now about it. I also scared about the new name feeling ok now but once I use it in public not liking it so much because that's somewhat what happened with his original name. Any advice? I'm going to lose my mind

magsugar13

If you do not like it 100% do not change it.

Why are you locking yourself into a this name or that name thing? there are thousands of names.

what name are you changing it from?

MamaWren919

I would look for a compromise unless you're 100% sure. This is a big decision, and you shouldn't limit your choices. Husband is going to have work with you.

schnookee

magsugar13 said:

If you do not like it 100% do not change it.

Why are you locking yourself into a this name or that name thing? there are thousands of names.

what name are you changing it from?

It's become a this name or that name thing because my husband is pretty set on his name being either Wesley or Weston. He really won't consider anything else. His name now is Dax. We considered it when I was pregnant with my daughter 6 years ago before we knew she was a girl. We couldn't totally decide on a boy name while I was pregnant this time and figured we would go with that if we didn't find anything. When my son was born he just didn't look like what we thought he would and the name didn't seem to fit him. He went nameless for days and we were exhausted and I was in pain from the c section and the hospital staff was telling us if we didn't decide on a name before we left then we would have to come back. I couldn't imagine taking the 45 min ride back with both kids how I was feeling so we just went with it. I've tried to just accept his name and go with it but I can't even say it and it makes me cringe when someone else says it. Above all that it really doesn't fit him.

magsugar13

Well, im sorry but your H must learn to compromise. Why is it that he gets total control of YOURs (both) babies  name?

Changing it from one name you dont like to another isnt going to solve the problem. 

gonetothesea

What are YOUR favorite names? Sounds like your husband needs to compromise. You're going to call your son this name the rest of your life, so it needs to be something that you both love.

lauren0571

Would it be possible to give him a middle name you love and use it as his NN?
My husband and I had a very hard time agreeing on names for our son. So I can relate.
We finally decided to use my husband's first choice as a FN and my fist choice as a MN (which we use as a NN). In reality he goes by his MN more often than his FN.
Just a thought. Like I said, I can truly sympathize with the situation. However, you need to have SOME say in the matter or you will never fell comfortable with it.
Edited for small typo

holocene

I chose my second sons name because it was my husband's favourite. I had hoped that it would grow on me. 20 months later, and I still feel the same way about it. My husband has even agreed in hindsight that he should have been a bit more flexible so we could both love his name. Bottom line - you should both love your children's name equally. If you don't, head back to the drawing board! 

libby+nate

I just want to say I'm sorry you are having name regret. I have been there and it is so hard! Only do what you love 100%! Follow your gut! Best of luck with whatever you decide

schnookee

Thanks everyone. I go back and forth with wether it's him that needs to compromise and consider something else or if I do and give in considering that I do like the names just not 100%. I did really want Gray somewhere in the name and he agreed to that but only if Weston or Wesley is the first name. If not he wants Wesley as the MN and I lose Gray.
I also question if I will find a boys name I like 100% that fits our son. It a little harder now because we've gotten to know him and there are some names I like that I don't feel fit him.
I absolutely love our daughters name and I really want to feel the same about our sons name I just don't know if it will happen. Boy's name are so much harder.

LC122

I just want to thank OP and PPs for the cautionary tales. We are undecided on a boys' name (it took awhile to name our two girls too, but we finally found names we loved and still love) and this thread is helpful for stressing the importance of finding names you both love and can continue to love.

Also, I don't understand why OP's DH gets to make all the "rules" about naming (if you get this, then I get that; if I have to get that, you lose altogether). You should both agree on both names since your child was created by both of you and will be raised by both of you, presumably.

schnookee

LC122 said:

I just want to thank OP and PPs for the cautionary tales. We are undecided on a boys' name (it took awhile to name our two girls too, but we finally found names we loved and still love) and this thread is helpful for stressing the importance of finding names you both love and can continue to love.

Also, I don't understand why OP's DH gets to make all the "rules" about naming (if you get this, then I get that; if I have to get that, you lose altogether). You should both agree on both names since your child was created by both of you and will be raised by both of you, presumably.

I think maybe I'm not explaining this well but it seems like my husband is coming off as somewhat of a controlling bully. It's really not the case at all. To be completely honest, I wear the pants and usually call all the shots. I'm trying to be fair with this. I'm pretty sure I could convince him into almost anything but I don't want to do that, especially not with this. He initially wanted his son to be named after him because he's a junior and thought it would be cool for his son to be a third. We both agreed against this after he had some issues with him and his father's credit and bills getting confused. I know deep down he still would like for his son to be a third though. That's why I'm trying to be fair and not push him into something but at the same time I want to love the name too. We figured Weston would be a fair compromise since it's still close to Wesley but also different. I'm just nervous about it. I don't hate it and I do like it more than the current name but like I said, it's not my #1. After going through this already with my sons name I'm scared to change it and still be uncomfortable with it.
Disclaimer - I'm sorry if I didn't explain this well, my daughter has been talking to me the whole time I'm writing this so hopefully what I wrote makes sense.