Just a rant of someone ttc

ck1986

this is only a rant to all those out there who can relate. I found out that my cousin, who was just married one month ago, is pregnant. Boom--just one month and pregnant. It was a struggle for my husband and I to even start to try (pre cancerous cells found in my cervix followed by a surgery to remove it).
I'm so excited for her but I'm struggling with the standard "why has it been so hard for me?". I know it's selfish and I'm having one of those days. My husband doesn't really understand my struggle so this forum has been really helpful
That's it--just my rant of the day!

PugsandKisses

You are allowed to be upset. Go ahead an hour an afternoon for your pity party. Then move on.
just remember, there is not a quota on babies. Her fertility has nothing to do with yours. She could have been trying prior to the wedding. Or she could be a lucky few that gets pregnant on their first try.


Many of us have been there. I get it.

BornMama

Ugh. I feel you!!


My friend's son KU his one-night-stand. I'm happy for my friend cuz she's so excited to be a 1st time grandmother, but jeeeez is it hard to hear.

IowaLove89

@ck1986 it's hard to be in that spot, where you want to be supportive, but it's also hard to swallow.

@PugsandKisses made some really good points.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, and as she said, give yourself a pity party to help, and then try to move on. Most of us have been in your shoes, and it's not easy, but also find TB to be more helpful than DH when I have those feelings. That's what we're here for.

BabyIntegers

 

I totally get how you feel. Today at work, a nurse who found out I was "trying to get pregnant" said, "I didn't have to do all of that. I just opened my legs and got pregnant!" followed by a hair flip and a fake laugh. I wanted to smack her like the batch she is! Hang in there! That's why forums like this are vital in this process. Nothing compares to having other women who can relate. 

ck1986

@BabyIntegers Hahaha!!! Well how fabulous for her! Meanwhile were over here like "is that possibly maybe a positive ovulation test?! Life changing!"

WorkingOnMyNightCheese

Hang in there! We're only in our second month TTC and I have had a similar situation. Almost everyone I encounter saying either they're pregnant, had no problem getting pregnant, etc...I cried (embarrassingly enough) when AF arrived yesterday. I cried and ate chocolate for 20 minutes, then distracted myself by spending my last day of vacation doing things I love. Allowing yourself a chance to process then move on it totally they key!

CocoBellaF

I'll join you in your pity party.  I'm only in my first month TTC, but I'm sure you could use some company.  I'll bring fudgy brownies with sprinkles.

MrsEtheridge324

I want to punch people in the face when they tell me I'm being too worried doing things like temping and opks because they didn't have to do all that and it "just happened." Like yay for you but don't rub it in my face and make me feel worse it still hasn't happened for me you b$#&@. So I totally get it also.

bntfroggie

Joining the pity party.  I have two sisters that are pregnant and we were all due within 3 months of each other and I miscarried so now I get to go to baby showers and pretend to be happy.  I'm not, oh and the kicker was one was pregnant by accident they were all finished having kids she calls it her bonus baby like she leveled up in a video game.  Yay!

MNturnsVA

I would agree its important to process the feelings/emotions and allow yourself to go through it, but just as important to recognize that there are other things going on in life that you don't want to let go by the way side.  Be good to yourself but try to find some silver linings too.  If you don't work out, I would highly recommend it as a way of stress relief or treating yourself to a massage maybe?  Find a new hobby or something to help keep you occupied and your mind off the TTC as much.  I know that is not exactly what we want to hear either, and it can be hard to not let it consume you.  But I think that's why its important to find alternative things to keep your mind busy.

We are on our 3rd month of TTC and my biggest pet peeve is people telling me that I am putting too much effort into it by charting/temping, etc.  Those people make me lose it.

cattlebride

I'll join the pity party. Month 7 of ttc and my bipolar, unmarried, doesn't have a job, or an education sister is having a baby within a week or so. Life is f*cked up sometimes on who wins the baby lottery.

spacemountaineer

I'm like @CocoBellaF; I'll join so you will have more company at your party. I'm only in the 2nd month of TTC, so the pain isn't so acute yet. I'm giving a baby shower for my SIL. She got pregnant without even trying. By the time of the shower, I'll be on my 4th cycle of TTC. If I'm not pregnant by then, I'm sure there will be some pain hidden behind my hostess smile.  I'll bring some ice cream because ice cream can be a wonderful comfort food. Hang in there @ck1986, we are cheering for you!

mrstmoose

I'm only in month one of TTC but I can definitely sympathize. I feel like everyone is having babies or I see them everywhere (seriously, I can't even go to Target without seeing a baby in every aisle). Just know that everyone is different. It's ok to have a pity party!  

crdo

Ugh, I'm sorry. News like that is hard to hear. Jumping in the pity party.

This is the Year of Babies in my family/group of friends. 6 of my friends and 2 of my SILs ( :-O ) have/had due dates between April and October this year. Several with the magical "Oh we just decided to start a family, and Bam! Right away I got pregnant!"....so there's that.

Certainly, you want to be happy for those around you that are pregnant, but inevitably it's frustrating and upsetting because you want your baby to come. Right there with you, ladies. What helps me in those moments is to acknowledge that waiting, hoping, and trying without success totally blows, shed a few tears if I need to, and then tell myself my time is coming. Mini-pity parties are totally natural, and I think, totally Ok. And yay for The TTC Bump Community!

Side note: Hearing "Just relax!", a success story about "So-and-so's 4th cousin's hairstylist", or "you're so young, no rush" makes my right hand get that going-to-slap-you-silly itch. ~X(

Atlas12

Hopping into the pity party as well. I am right there with you @ck1986 and @bntfroggie ... This month marks 1 year from when my husband and I first started TTC. We had a mc in Oct and have been unsuccessful since. Meanwhile, all my girl cousins are either pregnant with #2 or just had #1. And to top it all off, my best friend (who we had always hoped to have our kids together) just got pregnant on her first try. "Just relax and let it happen" = so much $$ spent on massages and facials.... So I'm going to wallow in my pity for a bit here with you nice ladies and hopefully do something healthy later.

Everycol0r

Hey, pity parties are fine. My SIL found out she was pregnant about a week ago and only TTC for 6 months. I'm happy for them but I'm over here at 17 months clicking my heels TFAS.

Just remember everyone has a struggle, and a lot of people don't share those struggles, so don't let comparison be the thief of your joy for very long.

cattlebride

Everycol0r said:

Hey, pity parties are fine. My SIL found out she was pregnant about a week ago and only TTC for 6 months. I'm happy for them but I'm over here at 17 months clicking my heels TFAS.

Just remember everyone has a struggle, and a lot of people don't share those struggles, so don't let comparison be the thief of your joy for very long.

You have so many pieces of good advice.

mandielea2002

Three of my coworkers have had babies in the last few months, two friends have, and one of my high school friends just announced a surprise birth!   And I reeeeeally want to slap my MIL when she tells me that 'I just need to relax'   

ck1986

@cattlebride I'm kind of dying laughing at your comment thanks for that!! Ha!

Thanks everyone--every single one of the above helped today. I feel better after a minor meltdown yesterday and today's a new day!

AaronsAngel2015

I'm in month one. My S/O and I don't have kids together but I do have three of my own. I started my monthly a week early and wanted to ball my eyes out. It is still early in our journey of ttc but I'm discouraged being that I've had three already (I was Nick named fertile myrtle) and bam nothing.