Name theif?

bgriess

I had a girl name picked out since I was a kid, it was my girl choice when we had my son. Now I am 34 1/2 weeks pregnant with a little girl, while weighing name options this time around one of my good friends (via text) was asking her name, I told her we weren't 100% yet and she text back saying her baby girl will be named such name I had picked out and was on my list / a top runner this time around. I replied saying that's on my list too. Well fast forward a few weeks...we want to name our baby girl this name. it is weighing heavy on me. Mind you she's NOT even pregnant. She lives in CA I live in NE. Any advise/support is welcome. I am nervous and scared to tell her and announce her name and it is almost running my excitement because I have this emotional battle going on. My husband isn't so overly sensitive and is ready to use the name!

LizWhiz87

Bottom line: you're pregnant, she's not. If she makes any remark when you tell her the name, just tell her you have always loved the name and have talked about with DH since before your son was born. You already told her you were thinking about using it, so she shouldn't be surprised. Don't stress over it too much. Be excited about your baby girl and her name!

sarahsnowball

Use the name. At best, she was making conversation. At worst, she was trying to make sure you don't choose the name she wants for her daughter.
You should absolutely use the name, as long as you would be OK with her possibly having a daughter with the same name in the future. As PP said, just explain how much you love the name.

megewy

LizWhiz87 said:

Bottom line: you're pregnant, she's not. If she makes any remark when you tell her the name, just tell her you have always loved the name and have talked about with DH since before your son was born. You already told her you were thinking about using it, so she shouldn't be surprised. Don't stress over it too much. Be excited about your baby girl and her name!

Exactly what I was going to say

holly1811

Id just tell her "great minds think alike and name your daughter what ever name you have picked.

queenwog

I can't see any legitimate reason you shouldn't use the name. Especially if she's not even pregnant.

And she's not a name thief and neither are you. Many people have the same names; there are a lot more people than there are individual names in this world.

g8trkim

This is a non issue. She's not even pregnant and lives across the country. If she makes you feel bad that's not a friend you need.

tetchy

I would do it.  You already told her it is on your list too.  Nothing sneaky about that.  She is not pg.  May not ever be.  May not ever have a girl.  I wouldn't think it was a big deal.

saham07

I am curious what the name is. If I were in your shoes, I would absolutely use the name. A good friend would not get upset.

Sassenach1743

This really shouldn't be an issue, at all. You are pregnant now. She is not. You live across the country from each other... and you also said that you already had the name on your list before you spoke to her. Really, no explanation is even necessary. Use the name.

CaboBride2015

I agree, use the name. Unless of course it's Zapp, anything with a randomly placed x or y, or something completely made up/an inanimate object.

Just covering the bases since everyone is all "go for it!!!" and that should come with a disclaimer of some type.

Karenin

Use it! Names are fair game, and if you love a name that you don't want others to use, don't tell it to them! If you were due at the same time and she told you some name you never even knew existed and then your baby was born first and you used the name, that might be rude, but she's not even pregnant and it was a name you already liked. No problems here. 

groovylocks

LizWhiz87 said:

Bottom line: you're pregnant, she's not. If she makes any remark when you tell her the name, just tell her you have always loved the name and have talked about with DH since before your son was born. You already told her you were thinking about using it, so she shouldn't be surprised. Don't stress over it too much. Be excited about your baby girl and her name!

This. You can't "claim" a name in the face of pregnant people. Once somebody is pregnant, all bets are off. 

If she loses it, she's not a good friend. Seriously. 

littlebean1222

But do we get to know the name???!!!!???!!! :-)

adriennerose80

It's not like you both can't use the name. There is no guarantee she will ever have a girl, let alone get pregnant. There is also no guarantee she will still want the name if/when the time actually comes, which may be years from now. Unless you are close relatives I don't think anyone owns a name, especially when a baby is not in their very near future.

4N6s

What's the name?

mrwphillips

I watched my Uncle's adopted son and daughter fight over a name. John (the son) was expecting a boy, and they announced the name at a BBQ held specifically for the purpose of announcing boy/girl. Anyway, they wanted to name the baby Steven Hunt in honor of his grandfather (I believe the last name was Hunt), and Sam (the sister) absolutely flipped her gourd. She yelled about how SHE had claimed the name years ago and that it was going to HER child, not his. Anyway, long battle ensued with John's fiance and she finally just said screw it and changed the name to Steven Joseph (my uncle's name with her father's name) because she got tired of listening to Sam. However, Sam was not even TTC at the time, the guy she was dating she had been seeing on and off for eight years (basically, he kept promising her they would get married but he was in no hurry to actually go through with it), and he was in no way interested in starting a family with her. Its a long, rather pathetic story, but I've already rambled. The point I am trying to make is that NO ONE can lay claim to a name when there is no guarantee they will ever get pregnant, let alone HAVE a child, and you should never decide not to use a name just because of that.