I hope you're not overwhelmed but I think everyone is saying the same thing over and over in the hopes that you hear it. This is not normal behavior on your husbands part. Even if your mom did something unreasonable (which she did NOT) him saying he wouldn't be at the delivery is childish and wrong. Threats should never be the end of a conversation in a marriage. When people are abusive, they often try to isolate the one they abuse from others and that's what this sounds like to me. I know it's hard and scary but you have to maintain your support system and make decisions that are healthy for you and your LO. You can be strong. Good luck.
I'm so sorry but you are in an abusive relationship. It can be so perplexing to be told that by other people because when you yourself are in the situation it just feels like silly arguments or things that you can work through in the relationship but abuse isn't a normal relationship dynamic. Your mom spoke out against his abusuve actions now he wants to isolate you from her so that he can continue to control you without her input there to advise you for your own good. I'm so sorry but the longer you hold onto this relationship the worst it will become.
After the first post I was thinking he has the right to say who he doesn't want in the room. After all we see women who don't even want the MIL at the hospital and we support them. BUT after the second post I am thinking RUN.... RUN far away. I get he may have been high when he punched the car BUT I have personally never seen a pot smoker get mad like that and am wondering if he may be a drinker too. Tell him he needs to get help before you let him call the shots. Go stay with Mom. This is not a healthy relationship.
After the first post I was thinking he has the right to say who he doesn't want in the room. After all we see women who don't even want the MIL at the hospital and we support them. BUT after the second post I am thinking RUN.... RUN far away. I get he may have been high when he punched the car BUT I have personally never seen a pot smoker get mad like that and am wondering if he may be a drinker too. Tell him he needs to get help before you let him call the shots. Go stay with Mom. This is not a healthy relationship.
It's just an excuse for his behavior I agree. When not pregnant I smoke all the time, it doesn't effect your state of mind or change anything about you like alcohol does, it simply makes you mellow. I hope she got far away from this guy, I'd love to hear an update.
Oh my. I agree with PPs, they have given you golden advice. YOU NEED TO GET OUT NOW. This is not a "stupid reason", that is ABUSIVE and CONTROLLING behavior! There is NEVER an acceptable reason to put your hands on a woman...EVER. Isolating you from your family relationships is another huge red flag. I've watched my little sister and best friend go through abusive and controlling marriages and (thankfully) subsequent divorces. After observing this drama for years, the one thing I know for certain is this: IT WILL ONLY ESCALATE. Please, for the sake of your safety and the safety of your unborn child, heed this experience as a warning of things to come. Trust us when we are telling you, THIS IS NOT NORMAL. Every day you stay with this man you are putting your life, and your child's life at risk. It sounds like you have a supportive mother, and thank God for that. Seek her support and consider staying with her or other family members until you figure things out. I wish you all the best, and truly hope you heed the advice given in this forum.
Edit: Sorry ladies, I did not realize how old this thread was! I hope OP will come back and update us! It's very worrying.
Re: Husband not wanting mom in delivery room
When people are abusive, they often try to isolate the one they abuse from others and that's what this sounds like to me. I know it's hard and scary but you have to maintain your support system and make decisions that are healthy for you and your LO. You can be strong. Good luck.
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12596354/40-weeks-and-6-days-pregnant-help#latest
Jamie