Struggling with depression after miscarriage

tonya001

My husband and I made the decision to have another baby. Our first together, I have two and he had two. He lost his youngest to cancer after an 8 yr battle. We have know each other for years before reconnecting again and getting married. We got pregnant in March and had miscarriage in April (on my birthday ). 3 weeks after our loss one of my coworkers comes up pregnant, she tells only me and asks me to keep her secret. Then another coworker comes two me 3 weeks later, she is pregnant also, same thing asks me not to tell except this one comes to me to share her first-time pregnant experiences. Now yesterday a third coworker comes to me AGAIN asks me to keep her secret. I am struggling to come to work cause we are still not pregnant and I am so jealous and hurt at their lack of compassion for my feelings. How can I cope at my job surrounded by all these women that have what I can't accomplish? We now have a fourth one that just did IVF. I may need a new job. Any suggestions would help.

MayBeSomeDay16

oh man thats tough! So sorry for your loss. I have several friends who are pregnant and there"glowing" is killing me. I want to be happy but i'm just so jealous. I have no suggestions for you, other than to try and take it day by day.

valleric

Have you told them about your loss? I also have a coworker who is pregnant and due 5 days after I was. I try to avoid her as much as possible and have blocked seeing her stuff on Facebook, it's just too painful!

queenklau

I am so sorry for your loss. Your feelings are totally normal. Also your coworkers must trust you and respect you to share these news with you. I agree,living day by day is all we can do. My best friend is also pregnant 4 weeks ahead of were I was, I saw her before before we found out of our mmc and we were so happy for each other and excited. Now she has tried to reach out, but it is also too painful. I am going to give her a call today. I'll let you know how it goes.

foliver82

That stinks. I'm sorry for your loss. I had a MC myself at 11.5 weeks which was 3.5 weeks ago.
I ended up going to the ER and losing a lot of blood to the point that they prepped me for a transfusion. My saving grace was the nurse who registered me and helped me to my room and got me changed. She had a MC at 20 weeks a few weeks before. I realized she was meant to be my nurse. Our paths were supposed to cross. I sat there "laboring" and In horrible pain yet thinking, how did she do it? How does she function? At 20 weeks you know what your having and you can feel it moving. I couldn't imagine being in her shoes and felt horrible for her.
I work at a pediatric doctors office and bill out newborn hospital rounds. I feel your pain. Constant reminders make healing very difficult.
I've really tried to be more present with my 6 yo son and give him more than usual attention.
I ask myself why them and not me. But I also know that there is a plan for me. Maybe that plan involves me having another child or maybe it doesn't. I've been trying to make the most of what I have and appreciate the blessing of having my 6 yo son to love.
I guess my point it that everything happens for a reason. I know it's cliche but I believe it more and more everyday.
If it is meant to be, it will be.
Hope things get better for you. Know you are not alone.
Hugs

valleric

I had a mc April 19 after trying for a year and am still just so sad. I forget about it for awhile every day, but then I think about it, and it's just this heavy weight and dark sky that won't go away.