Thinking about twins? am i nuts? 4 kids...?

starsjaime

Greetings -

I currently have two beautiful girls (ages 4 and 2) which I was able to carry naturally.  Unfortunately, i'm unable to have any more children.  But we are going thru with IVF and having a surrogate.  Our transfer date is almost here!  we are so excited! 

We are thinking about going for twins....would we be crazy to intentionally try for twins and have 4 children in 5 years?  We are on the fence!

e74

Hello, Not nuts..,. Twins are a possibility with ivf... I would worry about the possible complications that your surrogate might have if both embryos stick. I have twins and don't get me wrong, I love them dearly, but I had a lot of complications and was on bed rest for 8 weeks( 4 in the hospital) and the twins were born early and spent time in two different NICUs... Not trying to be a downer, lots of people carry twins and have no problems, just something to think about....welcome and good luck with whatever you decide!!

CaliCarly77

I am disturbed that you say you want to "go for twins" - twins are a blessing but the pregnancy puts both babies and mom at risk, so why would you intentionally "go for it"? I would rather have one healthy baby than risk the lives of two. Even if one twin survives the risk of cerebral palsy in that single baby is very high. 

My twins were conceived spontaneously and after everything we went through, and seeing what my twin club moms went through (and increased losses and how heartbreaking that is), and the constant worry for 9 months that something could happen at any time, I just don' t know why anyone would "go for twins"   

plumeria05

If you're on board with having twins, why not? My oldest sister has two set of twins: first set are all boys and the second set, a boy and a girl. Twins run in my family. Good luck.

perry7285

You're not nuts. I think lots of people in infertility situations want twins. We see adorable twins coming out of IVF cycles all the time so its easy to see them and want them, and on a practical level, if you're only able financially to afford one cycle, twins are your only chance at more than one kid. So I think it's common to want twins, or at least consider it.

That said, for medical reasons I tend to think it's a good idea to transfer single embryos and have singleton pregnancies. A twin has a 5 times higher chance of dying in the first year of life (usually due to prematurity). A triplet has a 13 times higher chance. Singleton pregnancies are so much more likely to lead to a live birth and a healthy child.

I'm in a similar situation as you (I have two kids, can't have babies anymore, and we're going to do IVF with a surrogate). Part of me wants twins--I would love a big family and we can only do a surrogate once. But I think we'll transfer a single embryo. Part of this is because of the medical risk. Also, I want to cherish my time snuggling that baby that will be my last child. I know a lot of women who have twins so I know that the experience of having twin babies is very different than the experience of having a singleton baby. Lots more rushing around, less time snuggling. Not bad, just different. But knowing my own parenting style, where I really value alone time with a baby, lots of hours of snuggles and staring into each other's eyes, I worry that I would be unhappy taking care of twin babies and not having all of that special one-on-one time. So that is another reason why I am leaning towards a single embryo transfer.

Good luck with whatever you decide!