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Chychy182

Hi my names Brooke I'm 22 I have 2 beautiful children in February I lost my daughter at 21 weeks I gave birth to a still born baby at home ever since then I feel so alone and depressed I cry all the time is this normal??

nrocke129

I am so sorry for your loss. I delivered my son at 20 weeks. What has helped me the most is to have someone to lean on in tough time. Mine is my husband. When I am having a rough time whether it be a few hours it a whole day he is there to pick up my slack or to hold me and let me cry. I also have a 6 yo daughter and I am not sugar coating anything with her. She knows we are sad and if I am having a bad day I tell her. She is very understanding. I am also very open with talking about losing our son. I am also writing in a journal about what happened. Every single heartbreaking detail. My suggestion to you is to find a way to release your emotions and someone to share them with. These are the things that have helped me the most.

Chychy182

Thank u my husband really doesnt like talking about her I guess that's how he deals with it.I can talk to him but ik he doesn't want to talk about her so sometimes its nice to have others to talk to thank u :-) and I'm truly sorry about ur loss

msunshine123

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. My local perinatal loss group at our hospital and a grief counselor specializing in child loss have been very helpful in my own journey. It's normal to cry - you lost your precious child. So many hugs to you. In the beginning just getting out of bed was an accomplishment for me. Be patient and kind to yourself.

Chychy182

Thank u for your kind words it's getting easier I can speak her name without having a melt down now I'm going to speak with a counsler this week

Chychy182

I also have a 6 year old and a 3 year old my 6 year old is always asking were her sister is I always respond with god she knows shes not with us any longer I just don't know how to tell her somethings because I don't want to make her sad. I want to protect her from the pain I feel

nrocke129

I have been told not to sugar coat things with kids. Be direct and if there are options they will decide what is best for them. I have been very direct and open about our loss with my daughter who is 6. I gave her the option to look in the box that they gave us in the hospital. She said yes. By the end of looking at it she started crying. I told her it is ok to cry because it is very sad. If she ever wanted to talk or an extra cuddle to let me or someone else know and we will take care of her. I gave her a big hug and kiss and we watched one of her shows on tv.

She does seem to need a bit more quiet time since the loss, but not a lot more. Most of the time she is her bubbly self.

We also let her teacher and the social worker at the school know so if any odd behavior comes up they are ready and know why. She has been fine at school though.

Kids know when their parents aren't right. If she notices I am having a bad day she will ask me to play a card game with her or some other quiet activity that I don't necessarily need to get up for.

Don't hide your emotions from kids. My mom kept telling me I need to stay strong for my daughter. I told her that I don't. I need to show my her that it is ok to grieve a loss and how to grieve in a way that is healthy for our family. And I think I am doing well with that.