Intro plus IF Brain and keeping your sanity

andimegie325

Hello Lovely Ladies!

To start, we have been TTC for 2.5 years. I had 2 mc's and an ectopic (nothing lasting more than 9 weeks) before being referred to an RE. they immediately put me on clomid, but that resulted in another ectopic in the other tube. We've had a positive experience thus far with our IVF journey, including positive and growing betas, but I can't get my negative IF brain to switch gears.

I'm terrified the embryo migrated and it's ectopic again. I have no pain to back this up (6w2d) but I didn't have any pain with the other two... I have had the similar headaches and every little (mild) cramp and twinge sets me off into a worrying wreck

przemosbabe

I hope they are giving you an early ultrasound. I think all women who suffer from IF have a hard time enjoying their pregnancy. I was the same way for most of this pregnancy and still kind of am. I don't know if I will ever relax entirely but I take one day at a time. Everyone is here for you hoping things go smoothly this next 9 months. I have a fetal doppler and that helps a ton.

andimegie325

Thank you, it's just so hard to wrap my brain around that this might actually be OK. I am going for an u/s on Thursday afternoon, so I have my fingers toes and everything else crossed that we have more happy news. I know there are other couples who have been at this much longer than us, and I commend them immensely because I don't think I could hold on like that, but the stress of the losses and the unthinking words of some friends and other Dr. nearly have me broken. I am ready to enjoy this next stage! I just hope my worries don't overshadow it.

przemosbabe

To me your feelings and worries are not discredited or any less important because you may not have been trying as long as others or had as many losses as someone else. I'll be back here on Thursday to see how it went for you. I'll bet you are fine.

andimegie325

Well, another hurdle overcome! The ultrasound today confirmed it was in the right place and right on schedule measuring six weeks five days. Hard to feel excited just yet, but definitely relieved.

PhoenixRyuu

Congrats on the good news! 

We started trying over 8 years ago, 6 losses and stopped trying 3 years ago. This pregnancy came out of nowhere and at 18w 5d I am the furthest along I've ever been, but I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm checking for blood every one of the 20 times a day I have to pee and still once in a while in between, always thinking something's not quite right, though I can never put my finger on it and still don't really believe it. I don't want to know the sex, don't want to buy anything, don't want to pick names, don't even want to tell anyone until it's so obvious I can't hide it anymore. Aside from the boards, only 4 people, self and husband included, actually know. See, I told people last time when I was 10 wks because I was so excited I was past the 8 wk mark and then miscarried at 11w 2d and had to announce that. You carry with you everything that you've been through before, so I think it's perfectly normal not to want to let yourself get excited or invested. At this point I'm wondering if I'll believe it unless I have a baby right in front of me. 

marnief

@andimegie325 - yay for the great news!

@PhoenixRyuu - Oh my gosh, I can hardly begin to imagine.  I wish you a completely boring and uneventful pregnancy, totally textbook in every way, and a take-home baby who fills you with so much joy that you can look back on your pregnancy and smile.

PhoenixRyuu

Thank you, thank you. I'll be 19 weeks tomorrow and so far, everything is exactly that, normal. Aside from having my feet swell so badly starting at 16 weeks I have to take diuretics nothing out of the ordinary has happened, and even that isn't really that out of the ordinary. The one thing we decided to do, though, with June's disposable income so to speak is to get an Angelsounds or Hugecare pocket dopplers so if things seem almost too quiet we can reassure ourselves that our LO is OK in there still. It may be overkill, but if it helps me sleep better at night, it's worth it.

andimegie325

@PhoenixRyuu I sincerely hope the rest of your pregnancy is as uneventful! I've got myself freaked out now because we've told some Family members that the ultrasound went well, and every time we've shared this news it's ended in loss. I didn't have any nausea yesterday and that's further aiding my unease of a mc. I don't know how to ease these misgivings

przemosbabe

I haven't had any nausea or moring sickness this entire time and my little princess is doing well so far. Don't worry lady!!! I'm so happy everything was normal for you the other day

LittleRocket

Oh I'm just laying here crying and crying. I'm crying because I'm so happy for you both and all of us, I'm crying because I'm so sad for you both and all of us, I'm crying because I'm still so scared, and I'm probably crying just because I'm a blubbering pregnant lady. I'm so thankful for this board and I'm wishing you all the best!

MiromiM

I will say that my symptoms did come and go but always seemed to pop up at the most unexpected time. I had to convince myself that while I might not be pregnant tomorrow that I was pregnant today and to enjoy it and revel in it for as long as it lasts -9 minutes, 9 days, 9 weeks, 9 months- let yourself enjoy a state that you've fought so long to achieve.