Really could use some advice

MommyMoru

I know I've posted in a few threads about some of this but all I've done today is cry. I'm so stressed out all the time because my LO has started not eating well during the day maybe naps for 2...2.5 hours during the day, is fussy all the time, is only content when I hold him, and sometimes when I hold him nothing soothes him. I've tried everything I can think of to get him on a schedule but my husband and MIL don't follow it and say it's better to do 'on demand' and I've tried it but I stay so stressed out with doing that and I just am so overwhelmed with the responsibility of motherhood as being a new mom and having to work three part time jobs, and having to do all the housework and I just don't get a break. When LO is awake, he's always fussy and never content unless I'm holding him or playing with him and I never get any down time to relax or recharge or anything. I have barely eaten today because I have no chance to cook and I'm writing this while my LO just fusses and cries because I needed a break. I put him in his crib to nap and he turns over and gets his legs stuck so he ends up screaming and then I put him on the floor on a blanket and he just turns over and cries and fusses and won't stop at all. I try rocking him and he just fights me and I'm at my wits end. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to get my husband to understand the stress I'm going through and all the changes I'm having to deal with all the time. My life seems like it's the only one that has changed since having a baby and it's just really getting to me. I don't have a family doctor or anyone to really go see where I live and so I'm left to deal with all of this on my own and I'm just breaking. I need some advice on how to cope and deal and just not be crying all the time. 

Any advice would help.

pchung

Can your husband help with LO or household chores?  Maybe split the household chores so each of you is in charge of something.  Eating is very important.  Make sure to have easy snacks for when you can't make something. 

Have you tried baby wearing?  So babies just like to be held.  A carrier can at least let you have your hands free to do other things.  Does your LO take a pacifier?  A friend of mine's baby like massages and it really soothes her.  There are youtube video on baby massages. 

Good luck Mama!

Bigboobsmcgee

I'm sorry you are going through this and I can say that I know exactly how you feel. I was a mess after both of my kids were born but I was WAY worse after my first child was born. You might have a little PPD going on and really should try to meet with a doctor about it. I was put on Zoloft after my 2nd child was born because I just couldn't shake the blues and I was a hot mess. I'm SO, so happy I got on meds because they were a lifesaver when I needed them most.

As far as your husband goes, I really would sit him down, when you are relatively calm, and tell him exactly how you are feeling. Don't ask, but TELL HIM you need more help, you need breaks, or you just need to get out of the house by yourself to clear your head. It truly does take a village to raise a baby so try to get as much help as you can.

Short naps are incredibly common but they are also the one thing that stresses first time mom's out the most because they don't realize it's normal. Yes, it sucks, but babies go through months of only taking short naps so just realize it's normal and try to put your LO down when he seems tired. That's all you can do.

For the fussiness, have you asked the Pedi about this? Does he have reflux? Colic? Have you tried a swing? Wearing him around the house so your hands are free? Putting him in a quiet room if he's over stimulated?

My first kid was a pain in the butt and fussy all the time. I understand how hard it can be.

I can't stress enough how important it is to go see a doctor about the crying and depression. There's nothing wrong with reaching out for help and I don't want you wasting another day being unhappy. You should be enjoying being a mom so please get some help

eleolin8

It sounds like he is in one of his Wonder Weeks.  How old is he?

Google the Wonder Weeks and it will give you some sanity

Bigboobsmcgee

eleolin8 said:

It sounds like he is in one of his Wonder Weeks.  How old is he?

Google the Wonder Weeks and it will give you some sanity

Until a wonder week isn't accurate and doesn't explain your child's behavior then you go even more insane. WW's are a joke IMO.

iswimforoceans

To get my son to nap longer, we had to reswaddle him - against our original better judgement. He sleeps without a swaddle at night, but he'll resist naps during the day. And, when all else fails, I pop him in the car seat, do my errands, and he gets a longer nap then while I get work done.

If it makes you feel any better, I've struggled on and off with PPD since my son was born, but you need to make yourself a priority, too. Can someone watch the baby and let you get a short break? I find if I get a workout or something, I'm in a much better mood and frame of mind to deal with the fussiness.

MommyMoru

Thanks for the advice ladies. I kind of took some time away from here to get my bearings. Since I posted this I've sat down and discussed things with my husband and he seemed to understand a lot better this time. English isn't his first language so sometimes the translation and stuff just doesn't make sense.

He currently gets up at 5am every day and gets home between 8-11pm depending on his work load so asking him to help with chores and stuff during the week doesn't happen. He does help on weekends which is amazing and he tends to handle the baby when we are out by holding/carrying/pushing him.

I do try to wear him sometimes but he's a whopping 19lbs already and doing that all day kills my back. So I can't do it that much

The doctor said LO is perfectly fine. No reflux, no colds, nothing but healthy. And as far as wonder weeks go I've looked at them and they don't really explain anything for my LO and what he has been doing. They really haven't helped me at all.

I'm coming g stateside at the end of June for two weeks so I may pop into a women's clinic while I'm there to talk to a doctor about ppd. I've also made plans to go out for a day at the end of the month just by myself to get some down time. I told my husband I need a day or two like that a month. And I want to exercise but I have no one to watch LO while I go to a gym. My MIL has her own schedule and she already watched LO when I work. So I feel bad asking her for a little more time during the week

As far as LOs fussiness goes, it's still about the same. The only thing I can think of is he's frustrated not being able to crawl like he wants and move like he wants or he's teething or a combination of both.

That said, I'm looking forward to my trip back home so I'll have my mom, sister, friends, etc to help and give me some breaks