It must be nice...

SharLovesAlex

...to be a father, and be able to sleep through the baby crying and not feel the need to jump up as soon as he starts stirring and whimpering. Ugh! I know there are a couple of posts about dads/husbands and how much (or how little) they help. All day long, whether he's home or not, I'm taking care of our baby because all he wants to do is nurse and sleep. Sure, he changes a few diapers, picks him up and holds him if I need to pee or take a shower or eat. But the baby cries and looks for me, so I get him right back. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my baby. I just keep trying to explain to my husband that him waking up with the baby at night is so important. That's why I make those bottles so he can feed him, then he gets to bond with baby and maybe the baby won't cry so much when he holds him. But, I have to try to wake him at least 2-3 times, and sometimes he doesn't even get up. It's so hard not sleeping or being able to just take a nap during the day simply because I'm on the couch and my eyes get heavy (like my husband does). Nope, I'm awake holding our son, feeding our son, changing our son, playing with our son. And he wonders why he cries every time he holds him. Ive said this so much I feel like a broken record now. I'm so frustrated I could just scream. I get that it's different for mothers, we are instinctively going to care for our kids. It would just be nice if I didn't feel like a single mom some days, trying to hold a wiggly, crying baby and warm his bottle at the same time. I just needed to vent! Sorry for the long, complaining post.

sarah0989

I feel for you! I have days where I get so pissed off and resentful towards my husband because it seems like dads just have it easier. As mothers we naturally tend to do way more but it's hard not to get annoyed when they just don't seem to get it.

iluvmybutterfly

I know how it is. My man still gets to sleep like 10 hours most nights and I'm struggling to get 5. And every time I hand her to him during the day he'll hold her for a minute and say "mommy wants to hold you" and hand her back to me.

mrscasey306

Yep , just made a post about this the other day lol

mrscasey306

@iluvmybutterfly ... I'm so jealous of your 5!! I get 2 if that !! Lol

Christina80xoxo

I'm jealous of all of you lol
I'm alone with a 12 year old and my 8 week old. Her dad is gone so I'm struggling to do it alone right now.

KD32412

@Christina80xoxo I don't know how you do it! My friends and I always comment how hard it is being a parent, we can't imagine doing it alone! I'm the primary caregiver to a 28 month old and a newborn, but I'm fortunate enough to be a SAHM and not have to worry about income. I give you credit for being mommy (of two!) and doing it alone! Your girls will have a strong female role model to emulate.

Christina80xoxo

KD32412 said:

@Christina80xoxo I don't know how you do it! My friends and I always comment how hard it is being a parent, we can't imagine doing it alone! I'm the primary caregiver to a 28 month old and a newborn, but I'm fortunate enough to be a SAHM and not have to worry about income. I give you credit for being mommy (of two!) and doing it alone! Your girls will have a strong female role model to emulate.

If only I could use that strength in making better decisions in men !! Haha
It's not so bad because I just keep in mind it gets easier
I'm blessed in other ways. My grandma is young abd healthy and so is my dad, so I've never had to worry once about child care for either one

aprilk86

Yep, men sleep all night and still nap on the couch. Doesn't play or try to interact much, just holds him and watched tv till he cries which means he must be hungry and back to mommy. I don't knew how I'm gonna handle this when I go back to work in less than a week, sick thinking about it

SharLovesAlex

I woke him at 3:30 because I could hear the baby waking. It took a couple of nudges, but he got up. I warmed the bottle while husband changed the baby. I knew the baby was still sleepy because he has his eyes closed though he was fussing. He started feeding him, so u went to lie down. Not go back to sleep, mind you. I was awake. Just trying to let him do it on his own. So once the bottle is done, I hear the baby fuss and cry. He's been fighting his sleep, as my husband is well aware. I can hear him (after being awake with him all if 20 minutes) begging him to "just go back to sleep". I stayed in bed. I could hear the baby get calm and then fussy again, but I stayed in bed. I could hear him continue to beg him to go back to sleep. It's now been 40 minutes awake with baby. I hear him then ask, frustratingly, "why doesn't Shar get up?" That upset me. So I got up and took the baby from him. He of course said he'd put him to sleep, but I told him to just forget it if he was going to complain. And HE got to take a nap today!! I didn't, but could have used one because I got up the night before by myself. I told him I heard him complaining and he kept saying he'd do it so I asked him why he thought I should have had to get up and he said "because I couldn't get him to calm down". I said "well that happens. Try being awake more than 30 mins! Sometimes it takes 40 mins to an hour and a half to get him to fall asleep." He said "well I never see it" to which I responded, "thats because you don't get up". I think he got mad, but I was upset. How could he just think I should get up because the baby is a bit fussy! So now I'll get up and not bother to wake him again this morning.

myjessesgirl

iluvmybutterfly said:

I know how it is. My man still gets to sleep like 10 hours most nights and I'm struggling to get 5. And every time I hand her to him during the day he'll hold her for a minute and say "mommy wants to hold you" and hand her back to me.

Haha... I usually say, "Daddy wants to hold you" or "did you miss your daddy?" when my husband gets home from work. But daddy really does want to hold her, so...
I can understand the frustration. I do sometimes feel like I am the primary caregiver in my daughter's life, but right now I am. I nurse, my husband works, but we know the roles will switch soon when school ends for him and I restart work. And I know my husband is a bit jealous of the time I spend with our little girl: I get the smiles in the mornings and he gets the fussy evening hours after work. I am trying to cherish these moments as much as I can because I know that the sleepless nights will come to an end, but so will the cuddles on my chest.