For Working Moms with 2+ kids...

BabyNewbury2012

We have a daughter who just turned 3 last month and I am currently 28 weeks pregnant. My husband and I both work 40 or more hours a week. We do what I call split shifts, I work 5:30-3 and he works 9:30-7:30 so our daughter has less time in school (daycare), so he does mornings and I do evenings. This schedule works out great for us...well normally, lol, me bein pregnant has made it harder but we manage So now I am stressing about how this is all going to work with 2. I am scared of the dynamic change, how it will affect our daughter, scared that I wont be able to give enough love and attention to both. I talked to a freind this weekend who had to quit her job because her son was only sleeping a few hours at night and it was wearing on her and her husband so she had to quit.

I would love to hear from you all. Good or not so good experiences.

Thank you

CarrieB.

My DH and I also split shifts. He works evenings and Sundau parttime. It is really hard with a baby and a toddler, but you get used to the lack of sleep and eventually it gets better. My kids are now 4 and 18 mos and everyone sleeps much more normally.

As a note, my littlest never slept either, but I never felt like I had to quit my job. It's a temporary deal. Drink coffee and get over it. We ended up bed sharing which is not for everyone, but it worked for us.

mommymegan831

I drop my kids off at 6:45 and pick them up between 3 and 4.  I hate that we have to leave so early, but I love that I get to do things with them after school.  They're 3 and 5 now and I stayed home for the 1st 6 months with each so I wouldn't have to deal too much with the waking up at night, although I don't think that ever really completely ends.  The 1st year the 2nd time I found was really pretty easy.  I just brought my son around and we did our regular activities while I wore him.  We still did dance class, library, walks, ect.  As he got older he joined in and now the 3 of us do a ton of things together and they have a great time with one another.  I remember being so overwhelmed when I had my daughter (5), when I had my son (3), I wasn't so sure what I was so overwhelmed with. 

2-Step

This was DH and I exactly when we had our second. It was manageable for us for short period - 10 months to be exact. Then we came to a point where we realized that we were going to have to either start hiring things out like get a nanny, yard care person, a housecleaner and grocery delivery etc. which would mean I would need to get a higher paying job (luckily not a problem for me, but it would mean more hours and more travel) or one of us was going to have to cut back on our career path and start taking on more at home.

After careful consideration, I ended up taking a part time job. I work part time from home and take care of 90% of the "domestic duties". I was actually ready to get off the corporate ladder anyway because I've always been more of a creative at heart, so it was the right path for me personally as well. I totally believe you can make it work with two career driven parents, but it just makes for a different lifestyle. Although I had a really great corporate qualifications, my heart wasn't in it, so for us it was a quality of life issue and we took a little step back financially to gain that balance. I was also traveling for work sometimes so that was tough on everyone. 3 years later, we are happier than ever with our choice. My advice is to take it one step at a time and evaluate your options as needed to gain whatever balance you need. 

mattandlora

Hi all. I don't post here much because DH and I both work 40+ hr weeks with 2 kids under 2.

When I was out for maternity leave with this last one, I spent a lot of time with SAHM friends. I learned something from them. They were also frazzled and busy. I asked myself how that could be? Because, KIDS. If kids had it their way, they'd be by our sides all the time. They can't get enough of us. Whether we work away from home, in the home, or don't work, the kids want to spend all of their time with us. And no matter what we do, we have responsibilities which take us away from our kids. And we get mom-guilt about it.

I also learned that the ages where they want to spend with us will go by quickly. Soon they'll be teenagers who are embarrassed by us. So I'm giving up on things which aren't important, like getting a stain out of the shirt DS will probably outgrow next month anyway. Or having a perfect beach body. DH is cutting back on work hours. I'm not taking on extra work duties which could boost my career. We're investing money into hiring people to do stuff (like mow the grass) so that we have more time together. That means we have less discretionary spending, but oh well. It's about priorities for us

Soapbox done. Also, I jsut went back to work after maternity leave a week ago. I'll probably laugh at this post in another month, when everything falls apart.

SharonB222

My DH and I both managed to get reduced FT schedules so we spend afternoons with the kids. We are OLD, so we especially need it. We are established in our careers so it was easier to get it (although it took my boss -a single dad of three- suggesting it to me). I do feel slightly guilty that my 2nd spends more time in daycare than my 1st did, but he also has his big sis (in daycare with him) to relate to. Pluses and minuses. If we have a 3rd (unlikely but possible), DH and I pinky swore we'd hire an au pair b/c at our age we cannot do the sleep deprivation with 3 children and remain sane. BTW - DS is now 18 mo and DD is almost 4 and we're almost cleared the worse of the sleep deprivation.. almost... of course molars are on their way... Happy problems!

kimberly95

My husband and I both work full time. We have a 5 year old, almost 3 year old and I'm due the end of December with #3. We are both exhausted but we make it work. We are lucky to have family close by for those random occasions when we need extra help or a kiddo needs to go to the doctor and we can't get off work. I think you just adapt based on your family and personal priorities. It's not without some serious mom guilt at times though. I can only hope our kids grow up with an understanding of why we sacrifice time to work and have a strong work ethic also as a result.