Daughter self stimulating herself?

Kim&Doug

Hi, I would really love any advice anyone might have if they have any experience with their school aged daughters or heard of girls self stimulating themselves on chairs or anything.  I noticed she started doing it while sitting on pool noodles in the swimming pool a few years ago but would just tell her to stop and thought it didn't happen often.  I've even caught her doing it on the carpet naked. To try to get her to stop I would just warn her that she could hurt herself. I'm sure that she has never been molested and have talked to her about anyone touching her.  She is now 7 and I was just told by her teacher today that she's been doing it in class on her chair for at least a month.  Don't get me started on the lack of communication from the teacher.  We have a conference today where we'll discuss the communication problem further.  I just know it's natural that she found that it feels good to do what she's doing and I know not to shame her.  I mostly need to get through to her that is't not something we do in public(and I really don't want her doing it at all mostly in the worry that she could hurt herself by experimenting more or something). Any advice on how do discuss with her would be great.  I'm also going to ask her pedi.  TIA!

neverblushed

I wouldn't tell her that she's going to hurt herself.  You don't want her to equate this activity with danger or fear.

I would just remind her that her private parts are private. There's nothing wrong with touching them when you are by yourself in a private place.  Explain that in this case "private" means your bedroom or the bathroom, not in the living room or the classroom.  Just tell her it's not good manners to rub your private parts on furniture or other objects, even if you are wearing clothes.

There may be times when she's not all that aware of what she's doing, and she may be in the habit of touching herself in this way.  So you may have to remind her for a while until the habit is broken.

Work with the teacher to come up with something to say to prompt your daughter to stop that is low-key and doesn't call unnecessary attention to what she's doing.  Something like "Chairs are meant for sitting quietly."

I teach middle school, and kids find all kinds of interesting ways to do this: rubbing their crotch with a pencil, pounding it with the edge of a binder, just plain old pocket-pool -- you name it!  I usually ask the kid "Do you need to use the bathroom?" when it happens.

tiff16

I teach full day kindergarten. At the beginning of the year we have a rest time. There are usually a few who 'discover things' at that time. I would ask them to turn around or lay on their side. I never discussed this at conferences. I didn't feel it was my place to bring it up.