Is it just me?

MarriedtoMummy

Hi Ladies, for those who haven't seen my intro post, I am 27, married for 14 months, plan on starting TTC in Aug/Sept. DH and I have decided to wait to TTC, and have booked a vacation for the end of August into sept. I have already started temping and taking prenatals, and am wondering how to stave off the constant planning in my head... I think I'm nuts, I've already looked at the going rate for nanny shares in my area. I know planning is good, but I think I have issues. One minute I'm laid back and relaxed about the whole thing, the next I'm looking at names and wondering how I will handle not conceiving straight away. Anyone else feel like they might belong in the looney bin?

penelope4612

We are also not TTC until Sept.  It feels like everyone around me and on facebook is pregnant.  I can't really complain to DH because the reason for waiting is me (it's preferable for my current career path that I not go on maternity leave until June 2016 or later), but every time I see a baby or hear that someone is pregnant (especially someone who got married after we did) I wish we were trying or pregnant too.  I know that, in the grand scheme of things, it's only a difference of waiting a few months, and I'll go off birth control next month (after what should be a great vacation) so we'd probably have to wait a few months after I go off birth control for my cycles to regulate anyway, but it's still hard to wait patiently AND plan at the same time.

MarriedtoMummy

Yes! @penelope4612 ! Patience is a virtue, I guess. Ideally I would wait another year to get pregnant for better maternity benefits, but that's not going to happen. I too am a career gal, but I don't think there is ever a "right time" when you thrive in a working environment. I have a friend in Cali (I moved from there to Chicago in October) she just had a baby last sept, and we had unofficially planned to get pregnant around the same time... I get a text last week asking if I'm prego yet... At that point I knew! She is already pregnant, and she wasn't even trying! Another couple that my DH and I are friends with aren't even engaged and are so happy that they are having a baby. I am very happy for them, but feel a little left out. I have this vision that I will get a BFP in September, but it's probably setting myself up for a huge failure. I really feel like I need to chill, but my irrational mind won't settle down!

juliebeannn

MarriedtoMummy said:

Hi Ladies, for those who haven't seen my intro post, I am 27, married for 14 months, plan on starting TTC in Aug/Sept. DH and I have decided to wait to TTC, and have booked a vacation for the end of August into sept. I have already started temping and taking prenatals, and am wondering how to stave off the constant planning in my head... I think I'm nuts, I've already looked at the going rate for nanny shares in my area. I know planning is good, but I think I have issues. One minute I'm laid back and relaxed about the whole thing, the next I'm looking at names and wondering how I will handle not conceiving straight away. Anyone else feel like they might belong in the looney bin?

You're not the only one.  We're not TTC until Aug/Sept also and being the super planner that I am, I started looking at big ticket baby purchases (nursery furniture, car seats, strollers...) just to get an idea of budget and how much we should save for baby.  In my defense, we have a number of house renovations we want to have done before baby, so saving/leaving enough money for baby is something I want to be mindful of. 

Either way, I totally think I'm a bit nutso, so I don't share my obsessive planning tendencies with most people hahaha.
)

mamma1614

I am in the same boat. We are waiting another two months. Everybody around us is pregnant. I look at a girl and poof! she's pregnant haha. Even our friends that have been trying for two and a half years( and we are sincerely happy for) are finally pregnant! Its hard not to have some baby fever after that.

The reason we are waiting is 1- It took me at least 6 cycles after stopping the pill to get pregnant (thats what happened with our first) and 2- we don't want another winter baby!!! ahhhh which is a dumb reason, but we really think it would be nice to have one birthday that is in the spring or summer time. With a chance of  doing a party outside. The other reason spring babies are good, is that you're not locked indoors for 4 months after giving birth. I literally went crazy with my first. Lastly, the age cutoff is usually an issue for winter babies. I just discovered that many nursery schools in our area will not accept him before 24 months and he would only turn 20 months in September!! so the one that did accept him said he would have to repeat a grade, we would just have to choose when that is.

Anyway, it is super frustrating to wait, I try my best to think of the positives of waiting just a few more months and enjoy the time I have with my son now without the physical limitations of being pregnant.

MarriedtoMummy

Thanks ladies! It's really hard for me to express anything to people around me, so I'm so glad I have this outlet.

I moved from England to the states at 20, when my family got a green card, then I went back to finish school, they live in Florida and after graduating I moved to San Francisco to be with my boyfriend (now husband), we lived there for 4 years and I just moved to Chicago for my job in October (so @mamma1614 I COMPLETELY concur with the winter baby thing), and all my true friends are back in England and 1 in Cali,and they are all having babies!! I feel very alone in this, my DH is great and my best friend, but I don't really have anyone else around. Even my mother-in-law (who l absolutely adore) is in Boston!

Also, I really don't want an October baby, my mum, dad, grandmother and husband are all October birthdays, I can't handle any more!

Phew... I feel like I've written an essay! :-@

juliebeannn

I haven't really even thought of my future baby's birthday, as much as I just don't want to be in my third trimester in the sweltering heat of the summer.  Fingers crossed that we conceive within the first 3-4 months of trying....wishful thinking....i know. lol [-O<

MarriedtoMummy

Fingers crossed for you! Hopefully we all get pregnant within that time and can shares pregnancy joys and woes! =D>

peppers1227

I love this post! I read the comments here and feel like I could have written most of them myself.

I am just going off BC the end of this month, hoping to start TTC July/August. But a ton of family and friends have recently announced pregnancies, and while I am very happy for them, I have this irrational jealousy! Like I wish we were already pregnant or trying even though it is a self imposed decision about best timing for us. It doesn't make sense but I can't shake it! So to occupy myself I obsessively pin nursery designs and read TCOYF in the hopes it will help us be successful faster once we do TTC.

I am not super worried about birthdays, but in a perfect world would love next spring. I don't fancy the idea of being super pregnant in the peak of summer (I work in a factory with no AC!) and I grew up with a winter birthday and always thought outside birthday parties were awesome lol.

Glad we are all in this crazy boat together!

MegPete525

So what I'm reading is even if I am crazy, I'm not the only one! My DH and I are also hoping to start trying in September as long as my cycles return to normal, I'll be ditching the bcp at the end of May and can't wait. In the mean time I'm budgeting, saving, planning, and shhh (even started a registry, but only to experiment with a new website, it's not actually a store registry). I've also started my collection of cloth diapers, am already taking prenatal vitamins and we are slowly baby training the fur babies so there's no association of new rules with baby and call me crazy but I'm sure the dog will sense a BFP before I will. I've also decided in Febuary regardless of BFP I'll be taking toys r us up on their swap program and be getting my big items 25% off with all the old baby stuff my mom has in her basement. See told ya I'm nuts. But it's helping me get through the waiting and is strangely soothing the nerves I have, because as excited as I am to expand our family I'm also terrified. What if we have trouble getting pregnant, will DH still think I'm beautiful when I feel like a whale, will we be good enough parents, will the dog accept a new family member, will I be able to handle going back to work? It's a daily struggle and my DH thinks I am in fact crazy so I try to limit my rantings. Therefore I'm sorry but today, you guys get the rant! Thanks for listening!

penelope4612

@MegPete525, I worry that we won't get pregnant right away and regret waiting!  Both of our families are anxiously awaiting news that we're pregnant (even though we're not even trying yet) so I can't even imagine if we don't have any news to share until a year or more from now.  

What are you guys doing to stay sane?  We have a couple of vacations/getaways planned, which I'm looking forward to, and I'm starting a new job in July.  We're also trying to get to the gym 3 times per week.

MarriedtoMummy

I'm loving that we are all crazy together and all planning to start TTC at around the same time!

I have 2 little dogs and they crave my attention, one is really sweet and gentle, but needy (always wants to be touching me if I'm sitting on the couch etc) and the Alfa can get a little touchy at times, which worries me. But he is usually very good, so I've thought about baby training with them too. @MegPete525 let me know how it goes and if you have any tips!

@penelope4612 Looking at things like glider chairs and nursery furniture helps me pass the time haha! I also think of the things I can still do because I'm not pregnant and have explored new restaurants and bars with DH. Planning some special things for the babymoon is also a distraction (whilst also working out how to pay for it all and still have some money to save). I work out 3-5 days a week, and hope to continue when I'm pregnant.

MegPete525

I'm desperately trying to convince DH into a baby moon but he insists we can't afford a baby moon and a baby, of course he also insists on "paradise" while I'm thinking Outer Banks, NC or Savannah, GA. Any suggestions to talk him into it?

To stay mostly sane I'm trying to concentrate on work, house projects and learning to chart (TCOYF is so very enlightening) and I have a goal every week of I'm gonna go to the gym but I never seem to make it, which is truly sad because I work at one... :-?? What can I say, the last thing I want to do after work is stay at work, that's my EXCUSE and I'm sticking to it.

@MarriedtoMummy so far we're trying to work on being calm in the house, staying off furniture and not barking. But I don't expect overnight results, my pup is an 18 mth old rotty so he's 100 lbs of pure energy and excitement. We do go to obedience classes weekly and have been off and on since he was 6mths so we have a great relationship with our trainer and he's getting us a copy of a cd full of baby noises to get Yoshi used to it. I've also looked up a few books on the subject and I'll let you know if I find a really good one. But overall I'm not too worried about the dog, we've had him around littles since we brought him home and he loves them even if he's still learning to be gentle plus dogs you can train for just about anything! The cat worries me more, he was born a barn cat and is constantly on the look out for food so I'm worried he'll be all up in the baby's face for the smell of milk, and I've NO clue how to train a cat! And I worry about toxoplasmosis, we live on a farm and he still frequents the barn cat social events.

MarriedtoMummy

@MegPete525 ) barn cat! I have no idea why, but that just made me laugh out loud in my unusually quiet office! My pups are 15lbs combined!!

As far as DH goes, I would look at getaways on sale (all inclusive to Mexico is usually well priced), even if it's only a long weekend. How can he say no if it's a great deal and you get a few romantic days together, before you have a very demanding bundle of joy. Also, try to save a little money in the next few months and tell him that's what you've saved it for. Or just book it and say surprise! Haha.

MegPete525

@MarriedtoMummy now I'm LOLing in my quiet office. Book it and surprise!! I love this idea, don't have the guts to do it but still love it. I was trying to avoid passport territory since I need one and he needs to update his, added cost and all but maybe, since it's something we should have anyway. I'll just keep watching the deals!

And there are days, actually mostly nights, when I wish we had gotten a much smaller dog that's easier to contain (ie he breaks kennels) but then I remember the nights I stay home alone and I'm thankful for my big boy! Plus I'm pretty sure he keeps the coyotes at bay, I can hear them out in the fields but idt they dare come close to the house, which keeps the kitties safe.

LoveIsOwlYouNeed

It's not so bad to plan ahead.  With my first, I had to start cutting back my caffeine 3-4 months before we decided to try and I realized that since we (also) want to TTC in August or so, it was actually time for me to start that again.  And it's good to take the prenatals a few month out. And a friend is having a garage sale with maternity clothes for the office and I asked her to put stuff aside for me, because I switched jobs from a place we could wear jeans everyday to a more business-attire setting. 

You're excited!  Nothing wrong with that   Planning is good...

Designermomma

With my first child I tried to pre-plan everything and everyone around me was pregnant but we tried for a year of an emotional roller coaster and then I decided that's it this is happening. Did the ovulation kit and the moment it was positive, drank a lot of wine and went at it. Finally got a positive! With our second, it took over 3 years. I worked out, dieted, changed jobs to a more relaxing one. I just wanted another baby so bad I that point I didn't care when or what kind. I haven't had coffee or alcohol in 5 years! On the plus side I'm super healthy and we just renewed our life insurance at a lower rate.

FiancB

I am also not TTC until September. I am not normally a type-A plan-everything kind of person, but with this I am I guess. I feel crazy, and I'm sure DH would concur that I'm crazy. I have to stop myself from staring when a pregnant lady or woman with a baby walks by. Gah!

I've been working through old seasons of Scrubs on netflix and there's a part where Carla's been trying to get pregnant and can't stop thinking about babies, and it cuts to a scene where she sees everyone in the hospital wearing diapers. That's how I feel!

penelope4612

We had a debate earlier this week about whether or not I should continue on birth control this month.  We ultimately decided yes, because we are going to Greece next month and I don't want to be on my period, and also don't want to end up in a situation where I haven't confirmed ovulation and we have to use condoms the whole time.  I'm excited and nervous to go off of bc; I've been on it so long, and it's always helped with acne and decreased period cramping...

MarriedtoMummy

I have to say, when I came off of bc after 13 yrs I definitely felt the cramps! Acne hasn't been so bad, but cramping only lasts one day (it used to be days), AF was pretty heavy to begin with too, but has simmered down a bit. My best advice, take Advil at the first sign of a twinge, then it won't go full blown spasm on you