Anxiety/Worry

hmhierholzer

I miscarried my first pregnancy back in December and am currently 14 weeks along with my second pregnancy. We have had 3 ultrasounds so far and everything has been right on track, but I can't seem to enjoy being pregnant. I know I've passed the big hurdle of the first trimester, but I really thought I would be able to relax (definitely not the case). Does anyone have any suggestions for relieving worry? I feel like if I have to deal with this much anxiety for much longer I might lose my mind!

ToneGirl

I know how you feel.  My first pregnancy was a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks (measured 6w), my 2nd pregnancy went to term and I had my beautiful son however I had very low progesterone the whole way through so I was monitored a lot, my 3rd pregnancy ended in an early miscarriage.  I just found out I'm pregnant again so going today to test my progesterone levels.  So nervous!!!!  I just try to think...this is completely out of my control.  Whatever happens, happens!  Today I am pregnant and I'm going to try and enjoy it. 

cb50685

I know that feeling Hun I had a 40 week still birth 27th December 2013 and had 2 misscarrages since. I'm now coming up for 14 week all scans have shown baby is perfect however I am struggling to enjoy my pregnancy without constantly worrying so you are not alone xxxxxx

shanaloehr

I miscarried w twins back Oct 2014 ...I'm pregnant now only 6 weeks along and worried to death. ...you're not alone!

sswartout

I'm in the same boat. 11W5D, I have had 3 good ultrasounds, seen and heard the heartbeat 4 times, was low risk with genetic testing, and still worry! I had 3 losses, but all were before 10 weeks, so I want to be excited, but I am still so scared. I am hoping I will relax once I get to the 2nd trimester?! I spend a lot of time praying these days!

p_stone

OP hugs to you. When I was pregnant again after a loss I waited telling anyone as late as I could. I didn't buy any maternity clothes (just begged for hand-me-downs), refused to buy any "what to expect when you're expecting books" (it was so bad my husband went out and bought some himself). I refused a shower (we had a nice co-ed party, but I asked for no gifts) and when I went into labor a few weeks early we had NOTHING. no crib, no carseat, no clothes. I didn't deliver that day but DH asked them to keep me at the hospital for a few more hours so he could RUN to the store and buy everything. 

You do what you need to protect yourself. It's comical now, looking back, but it's also sad because it showed how afraid I was and how much I just mentally could not tell anyone or acknowledge the pregnancy because if I acknowledged I had something then I could really lose it. I wish in retrospect I could have enjoyed my pregnancy, and I particularly regret not reading the books because I had I went into early labor in part because I had not read up on all the things I was supposed to do in my pregnancy that had some health risks. Also, I had two more losses after that successful pregnancy, so I understand how hard it is to let go of the fear. All I can say is that I wished after those losses that, looking back, I had given myself leave to enjoy my pregnancy, somewhere, somehow. Try to figure out when and how that might be safe for you.  Maybe only to total strangers, whom you won't have to worry about seeing again and explaining what happened? Maybe out of town? And of course on internet boards.  

 

meli1112

I am currently 23w 4d pregnant after a loss at 23w last January. I am extremely excited about being pregnant again, but not until recently. For the first 20 weeks or so I tried to down play everything. I didn't want to get my hopes up and be devastated again. T & P to you!

megsilker

I had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks in January and now I'm almost 8 weeks along. I know exactly how you feel. I didn't even know anything was wrong until we went in to find out the gender of the baby and there was no heartbeat. The baby had stopped growing at 14 weeks. All you can do is take one day at a time and do everything you possibly can to be a healthy mama and keep baby healthy.

PlainJane8350

I'm 22 weeks today and I still worry! I just learned last week that planning helps me. If I focus my mind on something, like designing the nursery or researching stuff for my registry (I'm a first time mom), it distracts me from worrying and helps me plan for her (as opposed to not wanting to "jinx" it like I did before). Stress isn't good for a pregnancy, but after a loss we all have some level of P.T.S.D. Try not to be hard on yourself regardless of your feelings, we all do the best we can. I watch those true crime shows, too, but people look at me funny when I say those "make me feel better."

desiredshots

Im with you. I think about it every time i wipe, every time i sneeze, every time i get out of bed and use my abs. I have trouble sleeping lately because i think about my first miscarriage. I did it naturally at home at 9wks and it was horrifying. Its so hard to live through and figure out how to be happy. Im 15 weeks with this babe and i cant imagine surviving the pain of loss again.