Trying to Get Pregnant

how do you handle this every month over and over?

245

Re: how do you handle this every month over and over?

  • SpalexSpalex member
    edited April 2015
    OP, I think this is the time in your life when you need to search for what makes you happy(outside of children) and develop the skills you need to obtain your goals. Life is looong and children will come eventually. This is a good time to be selfish and really explore your interests/find something that excites you! Have you thought about college?
    Me: 31 DH: 30
    Married since 8/2013
    TTC #1 since 3/2015
  • @angc
    from LA but now live in SD and see it everywhere.

    and to OP i thought I was ready for a baby at 20...
    I am so glade we waited and I am still fairly young at that! That being said if you and your DH feel like now is a good time, than go for it.

    Because of what I see as two culture my DH and I are involve with, it seems like a mix of ppl who I know who got married young and have kids already( and divorce!) and those who are waiting and wanting to get an education first. WE are a hybrid of the two I guess? Got married fairly young and ttc, but DH is getting his PhD and I will be going back for my masters.

    So you CAN do ALL the things! (at least thats what I am telling myself ;) )

    image
    Age 24 DH 24 TTC#1!
    NTNP since June '14
    TTC since February '15
    Anniversary

    photo mrsespigreen_3_Autocorrect Fail Bumpie-2_zps0y7kauvn.jpg
  • Loading the player...
  • 27alex said:

    27alex said:

    Alex27 these woman are not military woman and no I am not wanting a baby for more money if that's what you're implying. I have always wanted children even before DH enlisted.

    I didn't imply. Someone asked about the culture.

    You and I have very different views, and I'm holding back what id like to say/advice id like to give as someone who knows the life because I think you're very young. And I'm 100% positive you'd get offended and throw a fit without really thinking about the truth of what I'm saying.

    Say it.
    You are 20 years old. Live your life!!! I think it's great your husband is in the military, and you stand by him but take the time to realize that who you are at 20 is not who will you be at 25 or 30. I'm sure you love your husband, and I am in no way saying don't have a baby if you both want one. Make friends (NOT in the military circle), go to college, have a life for yourself before you have a baby and be a stay at home military wife. The stats aren't in your favor, or in marriages for that matter, and there's a reason for that.

    What's the rush?
    I agree with what you said but we are a very happy couple. A lot of people have a negative view of military couples because its not for everybody and my DH and I are getting out in 4 years but in the time we are in I am starting collage. I'm looking into a something fast and easy that I'd enjoy and but not all military couples get married for the money or have kids for the money and people do but if we could get out of the military today and be together all the time we would. We are setting up ourselves for the life after the military and my FIL and MIL Done the same thing his father spend 20 years in the air force (we do not plan on staying in that long) and they are highschool sweet hearts, only had two children and still act like they're dating and I admire their relationship. So there are some good couples in the military that are so deeply in love and I'm lucky to be one of them and we would like to share our love with a baby that's all.
  • @sunflower071913 I think that's awesome and no one here is judging you! Everyone is speaking from experience and probably from what they wish they would have done with their tine in their 20s had they been in your position.

    I think you'll find in college that you're interested in a number of things you hadn't known about before enrolling. Concentrating on knowing yourself better will make ttc easier(in that you'll be distracted) and will make you a better mom once you get your BFP :)
    Me: 31 DH: 30
    Married since 8/2013
    TTC #1 since 3/2015
  • angc4angc4 member
    @BHEAT14 yeah, we have big navy and military bases!
    The getting married thing is like a fever! My best friend in high school caught it, like 6 months before graduation ... She met a guy and they were married 2 days after we graduated. I did not attend!!! And she wasn't even like super boy crazy, she had goals to become an ob/gyn, etc.
    they divorced 2-3 years later

    But I'm not trying to bash on the OP - I think all of this comes from a place of concern. Definitely agree, no rush!!

    @mrsespigreen sounds like you two are doing great!! Congrats!
    28, DH - 30 
    Married 10/04/14 
    TTC since 1/1/15
    BFP 5/28/15
    MC 6/9/15
    BFP#2 9/21/15 - EDD 5/20/16
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • 27alex said:

    27alex said:

    Alex27 these woman are not military woman and no I am not wanting a baby for more money if that's what you're implying. I have always wanted children even before DH enlisted.

    I didn't imply. Someone asked about the culture.

    You and I have very different views, and I'm holding back what id like to say/advice id like to give as someone who knows the life because I think you're very young. And I'm 100% positive you'd get offended and throw a fit without really thinking about the truth of what I'm saying.

    Say it.
    You are 20 years old. Live your life!!! I think it's great your husband is in the military, and you stand by him but take the time to realize that who you are at 20 is not who will you be at 25 or 30. I'm sure you love your husband, and I am in no way saying don't have a baby if you both want one. Make friends (NOT in the military circle), go to college, have a life for yourself before you have a baby and be a stay at home military wife. The stats aren't in your favor, or in marriages for that matter, and there's a reason for that.

    What's the rush?
    I agree with what you said but we are a very happy couple. A lot of people have a negative view of military couples because its not for everybody and my DH and I are getting out in 4 years but in the time we are in I am starting collage. I'm looking into a something fast and easy that I'd enjoy and but not all military couples get married for the money or have kids for the money and people do but if we could get out of the military today and be together all the time we would. We are setting up ourselves for the life after the military and my FIL and MIL Done the same thing his father spend 20 years in the air force (we do not plan on staying in that long) and they are highschool sweet hearts, only had two children and still act like they're dating and I admire their relationship. So there are some good couples in the military that are so deeply in love and I'm lucky to be one of them and we would like to share our love with a baby that's all.
    My best friend married her husband 4 years ago. They only thought he had a year left, and they set themselves up for life after the military, she was in school, he planned to go when he got out. He decided he wasn't quite done and reenlisted in the guard. He's not deployed, missed the birth of his son, she never finished college, and he decided he wants back in.

    She wished they'd waited until having a baby, and she's resentful she never had her own life.

    Just be careful. I'm sure you're very happy in your marriage, but a baby is huge. Do it for the right reasons and make sure you've lived and are living, a life for yourself before it's too late.

    Good luck OP.
  • That's why I haven't enrolled yet. So many options! Lol
  • AF just showed herself after I got all excited because I'm 15dpo then I took a test..... The woman on here that have been trying for 1 plus years, how do you do it? Every month I just want to hurt someone! I feel so frustrated! I just avoid Facebook all together, I looked on there this morning and I just wanted to be mean.... I feel like I'm getting bitter :( conceiving shouldn't be this hard.. It seems so easy For the immature little girls out there just sleeping with anything and everything. Ugh


    I actually take that offensively as I had my son when I was 18, and I was actually really happy and in love with his father. One should be considerate of others, as you don't always know what others have been through.
  • 27alex said:

    27alex said:

    27alex said:

    Alex27 these woman are not military woman and no I am not wanting a baby for more money if that's what you're implying. I have always wanted children even before DH enlisted.

    I didn't imply. Someone asked about the culture.

    You and I have very different views, and I'm holding back what id like to say/advice id like to give as someone who knows the life because I think you're very young. And I'm 100% positive you'd get offended and throw a fit without really thinking about the truth of what I'm saying.

    Say it.
    You are 20 years old. Live your life!!! I think it's great your husband is in the military, and you stand by him but take the time to realize that who you are at 20 is not who will you be at 25 or 30. I'm sure you love your husband, and I am in no way saying don't have a baby if you both want one. Make friends (NOT in the military circle), go to college, have a life for yourself before you have a baby and be a stay at home military wife. The stats aren't in your favor, or in marriages for that matter, and there's a reason for that.

    What's the rush?
    I agree with what you said but we are a very happy couple. A lot of people have a negative view of military couples because its not for everybody and my DH and I are getting out in 4 years but in the time we are in I am starting collage. I'm looking into a something fast and easy that I'd enjoy and but not all military couples get married for the money or have kids for the money and people do but if we could get out of the military today and be together all the time we would. We are setting up ourselves for the life after the military and my FIL and MIL Done the same thing his father spend 20 years in the air force (we do not plan on staying in that long) and they are highschool sweet hearts, only had two children and still act like they're dating and I admire their relationship. So there are some good couples in the military that are so deeply in love and I'm lucky to be one of them and we would like to share our love with a baby that's all.
    My best friend married her husband 4 years ago. They only thought he had a year left, and they set themselves up for life after the military, she was in school, he planned to go when he got out. He decided he wasn't quite done and reenlisted in the guard. He's not deployed, missed the birth of his son, she never finished college, and he decided he wants back in.

    She wished they'd waited until having a baby, and she's resentful she never had her own life.

    Just be careful. I'm sure you're very happy in your marriage, but a baby is huge. Do it for the right reasons and make sure you've lived and are living, a life for yourself before it's too late.

    Good luck OP.
    My husband is getting a degree in engineering, so he has a better chance of getting a job with aviation once we get out, because that's a fear, getting out and not being able to get a job. Which is common with military vets. we know a baby is a huge step but we've had a lot of time to think about it. We had a lot of Skype dates while he was gone last year and the 7 months before that and starting a family was a subject that was brought up a lot lol
  • That's why I haven't enrolled yet. So many options! Lol

    Just enroll. Pick your major later. There's time!
    Me: 31 DH: 30
    Married since 8/2013
    TTC #1 since 3/2015
  • AF just showed herself after I got all excited because I'm 15dpo then I took a test..... The woman on here that have been trying for 1 plus years, how do you do it? Every month I just want to hurt someone! I feel so frustrated! I just avoid Facebook all together, I looked on there this morning and I just wanted to be mean.... I feel like I'm getting bitter :( conceiving shouldn't be this hard.. It seems so easy For the immature little girls out there just sleeping with anything and everything. Ugh


    I actually take that offensively as I had my son when I was 18, and I was actually really happy and in love with his father. One should be considerate of others, as you don't always know what others have been through.
    If that sounded like it was towards a happily married couple, I'm sorry. I was talking about the girls that have multiple abortions. the girls that have multiple kids that all get taken away from them because they aren't responsible enough to put themselves aside and raise their child. That's what I call a immature selfish mother. I know a woman that let her child have staff infection in his leg so bad he couldn't walk. She didn't know because she stayed high the whole time. it wasn't until we went to check on them (because they had been missing school) that we found the little boy in his situation. His brother had been bringing him food and taking care of him.
  • AF just showed herself after I got all excited because I'm 15dpo then I took a test..... The woman on here that have been trying for 1 plus years, how do you do it? Every month I just want to hurt someone! I feel so frustrated! I just avoid Facebook all together, I looked on there this morning and I just wanted to be mean.... I feel like I'm getting bitter :( conceiving shouldn't be this hard.. It seems so easy For the immature little girls out there just sleeping with anything and everything. Ugh


    I actually take that offensively as I had my son when I was 18, and I was actually really happy and in love with his father. One should be considerate of others, as you don't always know what others have been through.
    Settle down now. She was talking about people she personally knows.
  • BHEAT14 said:

    From what I've heard, and I am not an expert, it's really hard to start college once you've been out a while and it's almost impossible with a young child. I say go to school, even just to get a liberal arts degree at a community college. You can always TTC while going to school. 


    You're just so young and I think you'll be mad at yourself for putting things off. I'm only 26 and I feel like I was a completely different person at 20 than I am today. No judgement, just want to share my experiences with you. I'm sure there are 32 year olds who think I'm too young to be TTC because they're a completely different person today than they were at 26. 


    I plan on enrolling and TTC at the same time. But I would like to have our children now so that we are young enough to take trips and have fun with them when they are older and also once they get married and have kids . my mother had my oldest brother at 16 she was married at the time but that was normal back then. So in my family this isn't anything strange at all. My whole family got married young and they all have gotten pregnant within the first year. But I do agree, I want to do something for myself, even though waiting to have kids and doing things for myself now seems the best rout I don't want to wait. I have a lot of friends that are going through school while pregnant and\or with a new born. It will be hard though and I know that.
  • I am 20 I am reading TCOYF and I am temping and charting. I haven't been trying for a year yet I just know I'm going crazy and having to go through this for a full year will be hard, I wanted to know how y'all have been dealing with it. Y'all have more experience than I do. We've been trying for 7 months now going on our 8th, the fact that my husband has be to gone so much really messes with our chances.

    My husband travels frequently for business. We've been "just let it happen" since August 2014. However, with his travel schedule, my long cycles & extended BF-- it's taken longer than either of my other two.

    I'm not really worried about it because what will be will be. It's CD2 for me after a 73 day cycle. I'm taking my small victory that my cycle was shorter this time around.

    Other people's life choices, who they sleep with & their fertility is not really a reflection of the quality of their characters. It's all a luck of the draw.


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

  • BHEAT14 said:

    No one is saying you can't want a baby because of your age. We're saying you're very young so you have more time then someone who's 42 and trying. Also, who cares how they became pregnant? There's not a finite number of babies that can be born in the world. You've waited a few months, not years and years, like some women on this board. It sounds bratty when you say, they got pregnant and don't even want it. Like they don't deserve it as much as you because they weren't trying. You don't get a baby when you want one just because you want one. You get one when a sperm fertilizes an egg, it implants and grows into a baby, which you only have a 20% chance of happening every month, even if you're doing everything correctly. That's all there is too it. We're all in the same boat on this thread remember. Evedryone here wants a baby. 


    Just keep trucking and remember, no one's pregnancy has any bearing on yours. 
    Also, agree with this!


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

  • @sunflower071913 I'm happy that you are planning on enrolling in school. I have to agree with what a lot of the other ladies are saying. I realize that conceiving a child is very important for you, and we can all understand that, but I would caution you about making it your number one priority right now. In order to provide a good life for your child, you first need to be able to provide for yourself. I can't possibly express how important I believe getting an education is, with a degree you are more able to build a great life for your self and your family. Also keep in mind, there can always be unexpected life events that can pop up and you should always be prepared and/or capable to provide for yourself and your child/family. As others have said you are very young, and I would hate it if you were rushing into having a child and neglecting yourself in the process, I just don't want you to look back and say "jeez I wish I would have focused more on developing myself before I had children". I'm NOT saying that you should stop TTC, but please take this time while your young to be a little selfish and do the things you need to do that will make you the best person you can be and be happy in the long run.
  • Jags8 said:

    Concerning military families, I just want to give some input. I feel like a lot of negative light was shed on them concerning early marriage and family planning.

    First of all, the temptation to get married young is because military members don't receive benefits in order to live off base until they've been in four years. You don't make very much money, so you can't typically afford to rent without that BAH (basic assistance for housing). However, if you have a dependant (spouse), you can start receiving BAH.

    That said, barely any of my DH's military buddies from his squadron were married. And of those, none of them or their wives became parents before 25. The other wives and I all had degrees and jobs. One wife is working on her PhD.

    DH and I married at 23, a full 7 months after he had started receiving BAH. We got married because we love each other and have known each other since middle school, not "quickly" for any kind of military benefit. DH has now been out of the military for a few years.

    I guess I just wanted to share another side because I don't want anyone here thinking that military life pushes early marriage or kids. People make those decisions on their own. A lot of military spouses have degrees and successful careers.


    Thank you. I know so many men and woman that are single that have been in the military for years and have made a nice life for themselves . I recently talked to my DH's commanding officer and he just got married. Believe it or not some people join the military to serve their country. Not just the benefits lol
  • edited April 2015
    KEY214 said:

    @sunflower071913 I'm happy that you are planning on enrolling in school. I have to agree with what a lot of the other ladies are saying. I realize that conceiving a child is very important for you, and we can all understand that, but I would caution you about making it your number one priority right now. In order to provide a good life for your child, you first need to be able to provide for yourself. I can't possibly express how important I believe getting an education is, with a degree you are more able to build a great life for your self and your family. Also keep in mind, there can always be unexpected life events that can pop up and you should always be prepared and/or capable to provide for yourself and your child/family. As others have said you are very young, and I would hate it if you were rushing into having a child and neglecting yourself in the process, I just don't want you to look back and say "jeez I wish I would have focused more on developing myself before I had children". I'm NOT saying that you should stop TTC, but please take this time while your young to be a little selfish and do the things you need to do that will make you the best person you can be and be happy in the long run.

    I am but like I said we just moved here not to long ago and I'm looking into the schools they offer here or maybe doing something online.
  • I am 20 I am reading TCOYF and I am temping and charting. I haven't been trying for a year yet I just know I'm going crazy and having to go through this for a full year will be hard, I wanted to know how y'all have been dealing with it. Y'all have more experience than I do. We've been trying for 7 months now going on our 8th, the fact that my husband has be to gone so much really messes with our chances.

    My husband travels frequently for business. We've been "just let it happen" since August 2014. However, with his travel schedule, my long cycles & extended BF-- it's taken longer than either of my other two.

    I'm not really worried about it because what will be will be. It's CD2 for me after a 73 day cycle. I'm taking my small victory that my cycle was shorter this time around.

    Other people's life choices, who they sleep with & their fertility is not really a reflection of the quality of their characters. It's all a luck of the draw.
    I believe action speaks louder than words. But yeah conceiving is a 20% change you get each month.
  • BHEAT14 said:

    I am 20 I am reading TCOYF and I am temping and charting. I haven't been trying for a year yet I just know I'm going crazy and having to go through this for a full year will be hard, I wanted to know how y'all have been dealing with it. Y'all have more experience than I do. We've been trying for 7 months now going on our 8th, the fact that my husband has be to gone so much really messes with our chances.

    My husband travels frequently for business. We've been "just let it happen" since August 2014. However, with his travel schedule, my long cycles & extended BF-- it's taken longer than either of my other two.

    I'm not really worried about it because what will be will be. It's CD2 for me after a 73 day cycle. I'm taking my small victory that my cycle was shorter this time around.

    Other people's life choices, who they sleep with & their fertility is not really a reflection of the quality of their characters. It's all a luck of the draw.
    I believe action speaks louder than words. But yeah conceiving is a 20% change you get each month.
    That's a bit judgmental. You got married young but other people have decided to date and enjoy being young. Being sexually active doesn't make someone a slut or unfit to be a mother. I had sex with 9 people before I met my husband and I met him at 21. If I had gotten pregnant, would it have made me unfit because I wasn't married or in a committed relationship? 
    No my DH got around before we got together I call him a man whore (jokingly). Lol
    For example if a person tells me I never would ever hit a child when I've seen them slap their child multiple times.. I tend to believe they aren't truthful. People can say what they want but its their actions that matter. I'm sure you love your husband and wouldn't ever hurt him. Just because you've had previous parteners doesn't mean you won't be faithful or a good person. And I don't assume every person that has had different partners are bad I just believe once you are in a relationship be faithful and committed. And give your child a good example .

  • And their are plenty of single parents out there. My sister was one of them and you can give your child a good life. The girl I was talking about earlier just wants to party. And has no plan of living the life of a mom.
  • BHEAT14 said:

    From what I've heard, and I am not an expert, it's really hard to start college once you've been out a while and it's almost impossible with a young child. I say go to school, even just to get a liberal arts degree at a community college. You can always TTC while going to school. 


    You're just so young and I think you'll be mad at yourself for putting things off. I'm only 26 and I feel like I was a completely different person at 20 than I am today. No judgement, just want to share my experiences with you. I'm sure there are 32 year olds who think I'm too young to be TTC because they're a completely different person today than they were at 26. 


    I plan on enrolling and TTC at the same time. But I would like to have our children now so that we are young enough to take trips and have fun with them when they are older and also once they get married and have kids . my mother had my oldest brother at 16 she was married at the time but that was normal back then. So in my family this isn't anything strange at all. My whole family got married young and they all have gotten pregnant within the first year. But I do agree, I want to do something for myself, even though waiting to have kids and doing things for myself now seems the best rout I don't want to wait. I have a lot of friends that are going through school while pregnant and\or with a new born. It will be hard though and I know that.
    I'd like to point out that there are no guarantees in life, so having children at a younger age doesn't promise that you will have the future you are imagining.

    Also, both DH's mom and my mom had us at an older age. MIL was 34 when she had DH making her 65 now and mom was 39 when she had me and she is now 67. They are not old and sickly. In fact, both frequently travel to South Carolina and Florida.

    In other words - there is no rush and you should not feel pressured if you deviate from what is "normal" for your family.
    Everybody is different. I just would like to start my family. I don't feel like I have to start now. I want to. If it doesn't happen now then I have more time to try. Having a baby or ttc at my age is healthy, you don't hear about it often because its not common to want a baby at my age now. But I'm not hurting anybody. I'm working out taking vitamins, trying to get my body healthy. Its something we want to do. ;;)
  • I could not agree more with what missteacherlady16 said. You are young and there is no rush. Your early 20s is when you should be focusing on bettering your self and taking steps to be the person you want to be and achieve your full potential! Once you have a child, your first priority is no longer yourself. I know I keep saying this and it's probably very annoying and I'm sorry for that, but 20 is so very young! The person I was when I was 20 vs who I am now are two very different people, I sometimes wish I could go back and give my 20 year old self a stern talking to!
  • I'm taking care of myself. I am lol like I said I'm looking into the schools here and online. But like I said before we want to start our family. I may be young And am ttc earlier than most other ladies here. but Im not the first to be trying to have a baby at my age
  • BHEAT14 said:

    From what I've heard, and I am not an expert, it's really hard to start college once you've been out a while and it's almost impossible with a young child. I say go to school, even just to get a liberal arts degree at a community college. You can always TTC while going to school. 


    You're just so young and I think you'll be mad at yourself for putting things off. I'm only 26 and I feel like I was a completely different person at 20 than I am today. No judgement, just want to share my experiences with you. I'm sure there are 32 year olds who think I'm too young to be TTC because they're a completely different person today than they were at 26. 


    I plan on enrolling and TTC at the same time. But I would like to have our children now so that we are young enough to take trips and have fun with them when they are older and also once they get married and have kids . my mother had my oldest brother at 16 she was married at the time but that was normal back then. So in my family this isn't anything strange at all. My whole family got married young and they all have gotten pregnant within the first year. But I do agree, I want to do something for myself, even though waiting to have kids and doing things for myself now seems the best rout I don't want to wait. I have a lot of friends that are going through school while pregnant and\or with a new born. It will be hard though and I know that.
    I'd like to point out that there are no guarantees in life, so having children at a younger age doesn't promise that you will have the future you are imagining.

    Also, both DH's mom and my mom had us at an older age. MIL was 34 when she had DH making her 65 now and mom was 39 when she had me and she is now 67. They are not old and sickly. In fact, both frequently travel to South Carolina and Florida.

    In other words - there is no rush and you should not feel pressured if you deviate from what is "normal" for your family.
    Everybody is different. I just would like to start my family. I don't feel like I have to start now. I want to. If it doesn't happen now then I have more time to try. Having a baby or ttc at my age is healthy, you don't hear about it often because its not common to want a baby at my age now. But I'm not hurting anybody. I'm working out taking vitamins, trying to get my body healthy. Its something we want to do. ;;)
    What I was trying to say, which I think didn't come across very clear, was that your comments made it seem like you are going to be omg too old to function when your future children are adults and married if you don't start popping out babies immediately. I just wanted to give you a real life example of that not being true so that if you're not able to conceive as planned, then you will not become further frustrated and angry and thinking you're going to miss out on all these wonderful life experiences you have envisioned for yourself.

    As a side note, when I was, I dunno 14/15 or so, I planned to get married shortly after college (so by 23) and have my first kid by 25. I got married at 27 (almost 28) and I'm now 7 cycles into TTC (and assuming I conceive sometime before Dec of this year, I'll be 30 by the time a baby is born). I'm not terribly off my mark but still life doesn't guarantee anything.

    I know you want a baby OP but it's really better to try not to stress about if it doesn't go exactly to plan. That's all :)

    Good luck regardless!
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    TTC #1 - Nov '14
    BFP 2/3/16  EDD 10/16/16
    DS born 10/18

    LFAF: Frankly Disturbing
  • I'm taking care of myself. I am lol like I said I'm looking into the schools here and online. But like I said before we want to start our family. I may be young And am ttc earlier than most other ladies here. but Im not the first to be trying to have a baby at my age

    And as someone who's taking online courses, I really think you'd benefit, if possible, from taking courses in person. It's a great way to make friends :)
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    TTC #1 - Nov '14
    BFP 2/3/16  EDD 10/16/16
    DS born 10/18

    LFAF: Frankly Disturbing
  • edited April 2015
    BHEAT14 said:

    My mom was 40 when I was adopted and she's tougher than most 20 somethings. Most people think she's maybe 45 even thought she's  66. I don't feel like she couldn't do anything that the moms who were in their 20s when their kids were born could do.


    In fact, because she was already established in her career, I feel we had more experiences. We traveled and went to cool places no one else did because my mom wanted us to learn all this cool stuff. I feel like her age gave her a totally different perspective than the younger moms because she knew who she was outside of her children. She also never needed to struggle because her and my father had their nest egg all set before they even started trying to have children. She knew what was important to her (travel, education, being politically and social informed) and it helped her realize what kind of people she wanted to raise me and my brother to be. 

    I'm not saying being a young mother is bad. I'm just saying, being an older mother doesn't mean you're somehow unable to do the same things or if you're missing out. If anything, you have more potential life experiences to bring into motherhood which can help you raise your children. 

    I agree with PP you do sound a bit naive, but I think it's because you might be lacking life experiences. Have you traveled a lot? Do you read or go to museums? I think some of this stuff might also help you while trying to distract yourself from TTC stresses. 
    I am new to TTC. so I may seem naive about somethings because I am new to this. We have been trying for a while but I'm still learning. I have traveled, I love going to museams etc. The waiting doesnt feel so hard when DH is home. Last month i would not have posted this lol My mother got pregnant with me when she was 30 and I know being older isn't a bad thing, we have just chosen to try now and we can see the positive things in trying now. We are building our lives but when I say we are building our lives it does not mean we aren't stable. My DH makes good money we have a nice place. Right now we are prepairing to leave the military 4 years maybe more down the road. We can give a child a good life and we are excited for the future :)
  • I've never understood why older than 25 when you pop out your loin fruit somehow makes you decrepit? I'm almost 32 & plan on #3 in the next couple of years. I keep up just fine.

    I'm eyeballing some rest homes though. I want them to be nice with a good menu. B-)

    I don't think that is old lol I just want to start our family now.
  • edited April 2015
    It could take years to happen for us. I know if it does take that long I would wish I had started trying earlier. I know a lady that has been married 10 years and she just now found out she's pregnant. She had been trying ever since their first year of marriage. They gave up and adopted a baby. A month after the adoption she found out! So who knows it could be this year next month next year or 10 years from Now. I'm just trying to stay positive at this point.
  • BHEAT14 said:

    The best piece of advice I can give anyone is, don't assume you're going to get the life you want.  Your future could look very different than you think. 


    It's great to have goals but you have no idea if you'll even get pregnant (you might have to adopt or foster) and if you do, you have no idea your children will want to have children themselves or spend time with you when they're adults. They might focus on their careers or be childless by choice. 

    I know I seem like a downer but I've seen some stuff that made me realize life is hard and unfair. (I was a really weird teenager so I used to immerse myself in the darker side of society). I don't know. It just seems like you're convinced your life is going to be something, there's a chance you'll never get. 
    I am aware of that but like I said I'm trying to stay positive.
  • BHEAT14 said:

    The best piece of advice I can give anyone is, don't assume you're going to get the life you want.  Your future could look very different than you think. 


    It's great to have goals but you have no idea if you'll even get pregnant (you might have to adopt or foster) and if you do, you have no idea your children will want to have children themselves or spend time with you when they're adults. They might focus on their careers or be childless by choice. 

    I know I seem like a downer but I've seen some stuff that made me realize life is hard and unfair. (I was a really weird teenager so I used to immerse myself in the darker side of society). I don't know. It just seems like you're convinced your life is going to be something, there's a chance you'll never get. 
    I am aware of that but like I said I'm trying to stay positive.
    Being a realist =/= being negative.
    Did you read my post above the one you quoted? Because I am being realistic.
  • BHEAT14 said:

    The best piece of advice I can give anyone is, don't assume you're going to get the life you want.  Your future could look very different than you think. 


    It's great to have goals but you have no idea if you'll even get pregnant (you might have to adopt or foster) and if you do, you have no idea your children will want to have children themselves or spend time with you when they're adults. They might focus on their careers or be childless by choice. 

    I know I seem like a downer but I've seen some stuff that made me realize life is hard and unfair. (I was a really weird teenager so I used to immerse myself in the darker side of society). I don't know. It just seems like you're convinced your life is going to be something, there's a chance you'll never get. 
    I am aware of that but like I said I'm trying to stay positive.
    Being a realist =/= being negative.
    I was typing while she posted now its above hers. I am aware of my chances and I am aware of the fact that it can take years or never happen for us at all.
  • BHEAT14 said:

    missteacherlady16!  I feel like such a downer but I just want to help people.


    My brother committed suicide on Thanksgiving after being convicted for a murder he didn't commit. He was exonerated 2 weeks later when the star witness admitted to lying to save their own skin. My mom will never hang out with my brother or his kids because he never got any. I doubt she would have planned that for her life but it happened. I'm also a pragmatist. 

    You can't have rainbows without thunderstorms. I don't care that that's cheesy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Omg I agree... I'm sorry for your loss. But yeah I believe things can change in the blink of a eye, not every dream comes true and if they do it usually doesn't happen the way you dreamt it but that shouldn't keep you from dreaming and trying to stay positive.
  • If things would have happened the way I wanted I wouldn't have this app on my phone. I'd be 7 months pregnant right now.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"