Memorials

bkbistro321

Hi all,

I know I've seen a post about this before but of course I can't find it now that I need to read the info again. Anyway, I am a couple days post miscarriage. We had a natural miscarriage at home and were able to save our 9 week baby in the process. We are now trying to determine the best way to have a memorial or burial or cremation, etc for this sweet little one and we are somewhat at a loss of what to do. A cemetery feels a bit impersonal. We would love to bury him in our garden that we planted a couple years ago but we live in a shared building and don't completely feel comfortable with that. I thought I read at one point that you can't really cremate babies this small?

Anyway, I am looking to hear what others have done. We want to do something sacred and personal, I love the thought of returning our sweet angel baby to nature (dust to dust, becoming something that flowers and reblooms year after year, but don't know how to accomplish this since we don't own our own home). I would just love to hear other peoples experiences and maybe that will give us an idea that might work for us. Also, any resources or websites would be helpful as well...

I truly appreciate your help ladies! This board has been such a comfort to me in the past few days.
Thanks!

Lavoncp

I am so sorry for your loss. I just delivered my baby girl at almost 19 weeks last week. We haven't been able to have our service for her yet bc they are doing an autopsy where they send the baby to another hospital, so it can take a couple weeks. Anyway, we are having a private cremation. The hospital gave us a bunch of options, maybe call your hospital that you were going to deliver and ask what options they have for you. I think it is totally up to you and your husband. I wish you luck! Again, I'm so very sorry!

youenjoymyself

We're going to plant a tree in the backyard, something that blooms beautifully in the springtime.  Either a dogwood or a redbud, i think.

bntfroggie

@youenjoymyself we are going to plant a tree also, one that gets really bright in the Fall, when we should have met our little one   We are thinking a ginko it will look like this in the Fall. 

@bkbistro321 I was trying to find a post from a couple days ago where I think they cremated their child themselves, but I can't find it, hopefully they will see your post and respond, sorry I can't be more helpful.

lbhoskinson

A friend of mine bought a pretty pot and put her babe in the bottom since she couldn't take a tree with her when she moved... Every spring in memorium she plants a new flower. Loved that idea but ended up having to to a d&c. So I will just plant a flower anyway.

Mela5

We live in an apartment building with no balconies or outdoor space - just an alley next door. Our loss is happening at the end of the 1st trimester, but the baby stopped growing around week 5, so we aren't anticipating being able to save anything when the miscarriage finally gets rolling. We've decided to make a blanket instead. For us, b/c the embryo didn't get very far and was likely doomed from the start, the loss feels like crushed expectations and the loss of potential someone as opposed to the loss of a specific individual (if that makes any sense). We worry that we won't conceive again, so we decided to try to make a  memorial item that embodies the hope that we felt before the loss, and the hope of either a rainbow baby or simply peace in the future. That, for us, is a blanket, in cheery colours,  that could fit a crib or be a throw in the living room. I would have liked to have set up a plant, but we move a lot and often to different countries, so that wasn't really a possibility. 

4N6s

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have no advice though.