It doesn't exactly make me angry or even annoyed when people do that, but it's just not necessary. Also I'm not QUITE TTC yet so I'm not as sensative to that now as I probably will be in a few months.
I was around when people got reamed for doing it.
And it really is like waving your BFP at a stranger when ladies on the board don't know you. I'm not a sensitive person by any means but it's just not cool.
Yep yep. Is it in our TOU/guidelines? Cause it probably should be...
Legit question: When/where is it appropriate to post about BFP's? When you get one do you just silently go into the night? haha
If you're a recognized member of the community and people would notice your absence
It doesn't exactly make me angry or even annoyed when people do that, but it's just not necessary. Also I'm not QUITE TTC yet so I'm not as sensative to that now as I probably will be in a few months.
I was around when people got reamed for doing it.
And it really is like waving your BFP at a stranger when ladies on the board don't know you. I'm not a sensitive person by any means but it's just not cool.
Yep yep. Is it in our TOU/guidelines? Cause it probably should be...
Legit question: When/where is it appropriate to post about BFP's? When you get one do you just silently go into the night? haha
I think you just put it in TWW and then go to your Monthly board. I think it's fine for people who have made connections to this board to stay on here as well though. I plan on it I like you ladies! But yeah just TWW thread on this board is appropriate.
It doesn't exactly make me angry or even annoyed when people do that, but it's just not necessary. Also I'm not QUITE TTC yet so I'm not as sensative to that now as I probably will be in a few months.
I was around when people got reamed for doing it.
And it really is like waving your BFP at a stranger when ladies on the board don't know you. I'm not a sensitive person by any means but it's just not cool.
Yep yep. Is it in our TOU/guidelines? Cause it probably should be...
Legit question: When/where is it appropriate to post about BFP's? When you get one do you just silently go into the night? haha
If you're a recognized member of the community and people would notice your absence
Yes, this. Otherwise just posting it on the TWW thread is appropriate.
Me: 30 DH: 35
TTC #1 - Jan 2015
BFP on 5/13/15 DD born 1/24/16 TTC #2 - Jun 2017 BFP on 8/24/17
It doesn't exactly make me angry or even annoyed when people do that, but it's just not necessary. Also I'm not QUITE TTC yet so I'm not as sensative to that now as I probably will be in a few months.
I was around when people got reamed for doing it.
And it really is like waving your BFP at a stranger when ladies on the board don't know you. I'm not a sensitive person by any means but it's just not cool.
Yep yep. Is it in our TOU/guidelines? Cause it probably should be...
Legit question: When/where is it appropriate to post about BFP's? When you get one do you just silently go into the night? haha
If you're a recognized member of the community and people would notice your absence
This! I always think of it as would people miss me/wonder where I am if I just disappeared? Do they recognize my screen name or semi know parts of my story. If it's yes to those questions, it gets it's own thread.
If you ONLY post in the TWW/WTO and barely participate in other threads (If any) it goes in the TWW.
If you've been here but few and far Inbetween and people don't know you, run along to your BMB.
It doesn't exactly make me angry or even annoyed when people do that, but it's just not necessary. Also I'm not QUITE TTC yet so I'm not as sensative to that now as I probably will be in a few months.
I was around when people got reamed for doing it.
And it really is like waving your BFP at a stranger when ladies on the board don't know you. I'm not a sensitive person by any means but it's just not cool.
Yep yep. Is it in our TOU/guidelines? Cause it probably should be...
Legit question: When/where is it appropriate to post about BFP's? When you get one do you just silently go into the night? haha
I think you just put it in TWW and then go to your Monthly board. I think it's fine for people who have made connections to this board to stay on here as well though. I plan on it I like you ladies! But yeah just TWW thread on this board is appropriate.
Some ladies are recognised very well, they should have their own thread, example-kyleneum, she's very witty and and we all were very happy for her bfp, I loved they way she expressed in that thread, but no drive bys.
I think I'd post in the TWW thread to be on the safe side regardless. I wouldn't have a clue if folks recognized my name or not and I definitely don't want to wave a BFP in any faces!
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
I think I'd post in the TWW thread to be on the safe side regardless. I wouldn't have a clue if folks recognized my name or not and I definitely don't want to wave a BFP in any faces!
Agreed! I think to be safe post in tww and if they tell you that you should have your own thread for it then yay! (Saw this happen a couple weeks ago)
I think I'd post in the TWW thread to be on the safe side regardless. I wouldn't have a clue if folks recognized my name or not and I definitely don't want to wave a BFP in any faces!
I have thought the same because I don't know if people would really know me or not.
And yay sticky!
Me: 28, DH: 28 Diagnosed with PCOS: Summer 2007 Married: July 2013 Began TTC: June 2015
I think I'd post in the TWW thread to be on the safe side regardless. I wouldn't have a clue if folks recognized my name or not and I definitely don't want to wave a BFP in any faces!
I have thought the same because I don't know if people would really know me or not.
And yay sticky!
IMO you've definitely been around long enough to have your own BFP thread, but I guess it's just whatever you feel most comfortable doing.
Me: 30 DH: 35
TTC #1 - Jan 2015
BFP on 5/13/15 DD born 1/24/16 TTC #2 - Jun 2017 BFP on 8/24/17
I think I'd post in the TWW thread to be on the safe side regardless. I wouldn't have a clue if folks recognized my name or not and I definitely don't want to wave a BFP in any faces!
I have thought the same because I don't know if people would really know me or not.
And yay sticky!
IMO you've definitely been around long enough to have your own BFP thread, but I guess it's just whatever you feel most comfortable doing.
I think I'd post in the TWW thread to be on the safe side regardless. I wouldn't have a clue if folks recognized my name or not and I definitely don't want to wave a BFP in any faces!
I have thought the same because I don't know if people would really know me or not.
And yay sticky!
I think I even recognize you from the Knot. That or your pic just reminds me of someone else's.
I think I'd post in the TWW thread to be on the safe side regardless. I wouldn't have a clue if folks recognized my name or not and I definitely don't want to wave a BFP in any faces!
I have thought the same because I don't know if people would really know me or not.
And yay sticky!
I think I even recognize you from the Knot. That or your pic just reminds me of someone else's.
I didn't participate in community on the Knot, so maybe someone else has our wedding rings, lol
Me: 28, DH: 28 Diagnosed with PCOS: Summer 2007 Married: July 2013 Began TTC: June 2015
As a newbie and long time lurker (TTC since late January) there are a few things that helped me that I would love to tell all newbies about:
1. FF is amazing. I had Ovia when we first started TTC and thought it was wonderful with all its pretty colors, motivational things and whatnot. FF is way more descriptive and educational. And also doesn't have ad's for weird things like The Stork!! I have learned so much from FF alone. I love all the documentation and quizzes that are on there. That chart reading game is awesome and gives me more insight to my own chart. I took the time to transfer day by day my info from Ovia to FF for this cycle (I just started temping this cycle) and I'm loving it. I don't pay for the subscription as the free one seems pretty awesome to me. Anyone see the benefit of paying for it?
2. Lurking is key. If you lurk, you'll know not to ask "AM I PREGGO GUYS?!" because really, no one knows. This is not a place where people will lie to you. They will give honest opinions based on their experiences and education. If you're not prepared for a truth that can be as harsh as a BFN, just keep lurking and keep away from the keyboard!
3. It can take a healthy couple under the age of 35 to conceive. This one was really hard for me as it seems like I'm surrounded by people who conceived as soon as they went off the pill. It's hard not to rush to a fertility specialist after a couple months of BFN's because all you can think is "is there something wrong with my eggs? Are his boys just lazy?" but really, it takes time. Unless you feel like there is something really wrong with you (no O, possible cysts or something) just keep loving and temping!
4. Temping gives you incredible insight to your body. I didn't temp for the first few months TTC and was always wondering whether or not I O'd. With CP and CM alone, it's impossible to tell. My husband and I discussed temping when we first started TTC and we both thought that it would put a damper on our sex life. When I lurked for a few months and read about the benefits of temping, I told him I was going to start but I would never press him for sex if I didn't really want it, and I'm sticking to it. Also, I can now tell with more certainty when/if I need to take a HPT and save lots of money!
5. GIF's are so awesome, and so is this community.
One newbie confession that I will make is that I never downloaded/bought TCOYF. Lurking here pre-FF did it for me, then once I downloaded FF and read through all the awesome info on there, I don't feel like I need it. Not to say that there isn't any benefit in buying it, I just personally feel like I have what I need at this point.
Anyways, that's my newbie to newbie advice. Also, hello from Canada, I don't see a lot of Canadians on here!
BFP#1 Mar 29/16, EDD Nov 22/16 TTC #1 since Jan/15
Unless you are an OB/GYN or RE, don't make comments suggesting someone's dr doesn't know what they are doing. "OMG they did IUI with 4 follicles? you should sue for malpractice" is the kind of thing I'm talking about...
Unless you are an OB/GYM or RE, don't make comments suggesting someone's dr doesn't know what they are doing. "OMG they did IUI with 4 follicles? you should sue for malpractice" is the kind of thing I'm talking about...
Not all doctors know what they are doing. This is why the women here recommend seeing an RE instead of and OB for fertility issues. I for one would want someone to tell me if I was putting my fertility at risk because of something my doctor was doing. The comment you made is ridiculous. Maybe you should lurk and read some of the horror stories of women who took Clomid unmonitored. Don't come here and start BS. Also- don't post on this thread if you haven't been an active member who knows these boards or a newbie who lurked and found something helpful. Also last I checked no one has told anyone to sue anyone else. So yea..
Me:27 DH:27
Married: May 2013
TTC#1 since Nov 2014 MC June 2015 MC January 2016 Compound Hetero MTHFR Gene Mutation
Unless you are an OB/GYM or RE, don't make comments suggesting someone's dr doesn't know what they are doing. "OMG they did IUI with 4 follicles? you should sue for malpractice" is the kind of thing I'm talking about...
This is very necessary because people go to OBs for fertility drugs when they don't properly monitor them. So yes, this needs to be said.
Andplusalso, there's always someone in medical school at the bottom of their class.
You have no idea how long I've been lurking or TTC for that matter. I've seen multiple posts related to the exact scenario I described. It's one thing to suggest someone see an RE if they are taking hormones without supervision - it's totally different to question an entire medical plan that is specific to that unique individual.
Unless you are an OB/GYN or RE, don't make comments suggesting someone's dr doesn't know what they are doing. "OMG they did IUI with 4 follicles? you should sue for malpractice" is the kind of thing I'm talking about...
1) You can't dictate people's responses.
2) if you only want advice from doctors, go and make an appointment or go get a second opinion. Doctor's are not Gods who can do no wrong. It doesn't take another doctor to tell if something may not be right.
Also, even among doctors, someone has to be last in their class...
You have no idea how long I've been lurking or TTC for that matter. I've seen multiple posts related to the exact scenario I described. It's one thing to suggest someone see an RE if they are taking hormones without supervision - it's totally different to question an entire medical plan that is specific to that unique individual.
We ask follow up questions and give responses based on the information provided by the poster. I'm sorry, but you're right we don't know your journey, because you haven't participated at all on this board. You're taking something personally when it has nothing to do with your particular story.
Many women who give advice on this board give that advice because they've seen these scenarios multiples times on this board or because they've personally gone through it!
We do science here. The advice and things we say don't just come from nowhere. You're out of line here.
I am 35 to DH for almost two years. Actively ttc #1 since October 2014. Charting, Clomid, HCH shots, Timed Intercourse. DH SA looks great, my numbers look great... trying B6, Zinc, Vitamin C, you name it. Avid reader of TCOYF, FF junkie. Trying to keep the faith once cycle at a time.
Jesus, don't get your panties in a bunch, ladies. This post is about advice to Newbies. I never implied anyone with experience was doing this, just like you're not asking about implantation bleeding. I'm not out of line you just forgot the point of the post.
Jesus, don't get your panties in a bunch, ladies. This post is about advice to Newbies. I never implied anyone with experience was doing this, just like you're not asking about implantation bleeding. I'm not out of line you just forgot the point of the post.
Yes, and you didn't give them proper advice. No one is getting their panties in a wad.
Me:27 DH:27
Married: May 2013
TTC#1 since Nov 2014 MC June 2015 MC January 2016 Compound Hetero MTHFR Gene Mutation
Jesus, don't get your panties in a bunch, ladies. This post is about advice to Newbies. I never implied anyone with experience was doing this, just like you're not asking about implantation bleeding. I'm not out of line you just forgot the point of the post.
For someone who has "lurked," you sure don't understand how to quote.
You have no idea how long I've been lurking or TTC for that matter. I've seen multiple posts related to the exact scenario I described. It's one thing to suggest someone see an RE if they are taking hormones without supervision - it's totally different to question an entire medical plan that is specific to that unique individual.
My advice to newbies is a two-parter.
1) Don't necessarily assume strangers know what's best for you. If this person hasn't shared their story or given you a reason to believe they know what they're talking about, take their input with a grain of salt. If you lurk, you should have an idea of regular posters whose advice is valid.
2) If you're just coming around to post drama/ snark without first introducing yourself, don't expect everyone to fall at your feet. We love when new girls come in and participate in a real way, but we're a close group and quite honestly, a little bit protective of each other/ our community. Showing up with an attitude isn't going to make this a fun experience for anyone. Be cool.
Oh also, if I could tell a newbie anything, it would be that this group of girls is awesome. I think that's pretty important to know. Women who have been TTC for any amount of time are effing warriors, and this is a fantastic group of crazy, badass geniuses. Newbies, welcome, and get ready to learn a lot!
I probably am one of the offenders that mattie is talking about. I, with others, questioned a doc's advice partly for concern and partly because I want to know more about the subject. It isn't out of line to say "hmm, that doesn't really sound right to me, can you explain why your doctor wants to do things that way? Did he bring up x and y and have you do Z?"
I realize I am not a doctor. I also know a lot of stupid doctors. Like one that swore up and down my dad had COPD when he had classic congestive heart failure. If my mom hadn't been a nurse and known better, my dad would not be alive.
I probably am one of the offenders that mattie is talking about. I, with others, questioned a doc's advice partly for concern and partly because I want to know more about the subject. It isn't out of line to say "hmm, that doesn't really sound right to me, can you explain why your doctor wants to do things that way? Did he bring up x and y and have you do Z?"
I realize I am not a doctor. I also know a lot of stupid doctors. Like one that swore up and down my dad had COPD when he had classic congestive heart failure. If my mom hadn't been a nurse and known better, my dad would not be alive.
Truth. Not all Doctors are amazing. When I told a doctor that I was using temping, OPKs, to avoid pregnancy and was not on any hormonal BC his reaction was "You are going to get pregnant". My mouth just hung open because I was in shock that he said it like that. Well it's been over a year and I haven't gotten KU yet so...
I'm a newbie and very glad to have had this thread to start with. You all seem like a wonderful group of strong, smart women and I'm excited to be able to learn from you all.
I'm just starting TTC, 35, pregnant once at 24, ended at 18 wks with a terrible D&E. Alot of anxiety and fear that I'm holding at bay. Married almost two years ago to a man with full custody to a then two year old girl. Been working on making that gel and it was rough, but lucky to at least already have gone through the hard part of party of 2 to 3. She refers to herself as a "big sister" because she watches cartoons where there is a baby and an older sister and she hates to be thought of as a baby. So, yeah, it makes for some awkwardness when people meet her and she says I'm a big sister and they look at me or my belly expectantly and I respond "nope not pregnant just gassy" Thanks, kiddo!
Went for hormone levels test last week. Also I'm posted in Trinidad and Tobago for work so a bit anxious about the quality of healthcare here vs the US, though hope to deliver back home if it ever happens. Been temping and learning alot since finding FF. Anyways, thank you all for your great advice, resources and inspiration. Best wishes to you all!
I'm a newbie and very glad to have had this thread to start with. You all seem like a wonderful group of strong, smart women and I'm excited to be able to learn from you all.
I'm just starting TTC, 35, pregnant once at 24, ended at 18 wks with a terrible D&E. Alot of anxiety and fear that I'm holding at bay. Married almost two years ago to a man with full custody to a then two year old girl. Been working on making that gel and it was rough, but lucky to at least already have gone through the hard part of party of 2 to 3. She refers to herself as a "big sister" because she watches cartoons where there is a baby and an older sister and she hates to be thought of as a baby. So, yeah, it makes for some awkwardness when people meet her and she says I'm a big sister and they look at me or my belly expectantly and I respond "nope not pregnant just gassy" Thanks, kiddo!
Went for hormone levels test last week. Also I'm posted in Trinidad and Tobago for work so a bit anxious about the quality of healthcare here vs the US, though hope to deliver back home if it ever happens. Been temping and learning alot since finding FF. Anyways, thank you all for your great advice, resources and inspiration. Best wishes to you all!
Welcome! I'm very sorry for your loss. Jump right in and use the search function for any lingering questions! There's a ton of old threads with awesome info.
Is there a search tool that allows you to find past discussions only for this board on mobile? I only see one search tool option, but it's searching through every board on the bump! I want to make sure my question hasn't been asked before I post! Thanks!
Re: If you could tell a newbie anything...
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
Married since 3/2013
DD born 1/24/16
TTC #2 - Jun 2017
BFP on 8/24/17
If you ONLY post in the TWW/WTO and barely participate in other threads (If any) it goes in the TWW.
If you've been here but few and far Inbetween and people don't know you, run along to your BMB.
Amelia, my sweet little rainbow baby born March 4, 2016
Can we do this please? @BumpCaitlin @BumpTara
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
Married since 3/2013
Yes I made that up, and that's alright.
I think I'd post in the TWW thread to be on the safe side regardless. I wouldn't have a clue if folks recognized my name or not and I definitely don't want to wave a BFP in any faces!
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
And yay sticky!
Diagnosed with PCOS: Summer 2007
Married: July 2013
Began TTC: June 2015
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/58d258
DD born 1/24/16
TTC #2 - Jun 2017
BFP on 8/24/17
Diagnosed with PCOS: Summer 2007
Married: July 2013
Began TTC: June 2015
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/58d258
TTC #1 since Jan/15
The comment you made is ridiculous. Maybe you should lurk and read some of the horror stories of women who took Clomid unmonitored. Don't come here and start BS. Also- don't post on this thread if you haven't been an active member who knows these boards or a newbie who lurked and found something helpful. Also last I checked no one has told anyone to sue anyone else. So yea..
MC June 2015
MC January 2016
Compound Hetero MTHFR Gene Mutation
Andplusalso, there's always someone in medical school at the bottom of their class.
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
Many women who give advice on this board give that advice because they've seen these scenarios multiples times on this board or because they've personally gone through it!
We do science here. The advice and things we say don't just come from nowhere. You're out of line here.
DH SA looks great, my numbers look great... trying B6, Zinc, Vitamin C, you name it. Avid reader of TCOYF, FF junkie. Trying to keep the faith once cycle at a time.
MC June 2015
MC January 2016
Compound Hetero MTHFR Gene Mutation
For someone who has "lurked," you sure don't understand how to quote.
1) Don't necessarily assume strangers know what's best for you. If this person hasn't shared their story or given you a reason to believe they know what they're talking about, take their input with a grain of salt. If you lurk, you should have an idea of regular posters whose advice is valid.
2) If you're just coming around to post drama/ snark without first introducing yourself, don't expect everyone to fall at your feet. We love when new girls come in and participate in a real way, but we're a close group and quite honestly, a little bit protective of each other/ our community. Showing up with an attitude isn't going to make this a fun experience for anyone. Be cool.
I'm just starting TTC, 35, pregnant once at 24, ended at 18 wks with a terrible D&E. Alot of anxiety and fear that I'm holding at bay. Married almost two years ago to a man with full custody to a then two year old girl. Been working on making that gel and it was rough, but lucky to at least already have gone through the hard part of party of 2 to 3. She refers to herself as a "big sister" because she watches cartoons where there is a baby and an older sister and she hates to be thought of as a baby. So, yeah, it makes for some awkwardness when people meet her and she says I'm a big sister and they look at me or my belly expectantly and I respond "nope not pregnant just gassy" Thanks, kiddo!
Went for hormone levels test last week. Also I'm posted in Trinidad and Tobago for work so a bit anxious about the quality of healthcare here vs the US, though hope to deliver back home if it ever happens. Been temping and learning alot since finding FF. Anyways, thank you all for your great advice, resources and inspiration. Best wishes to you all!