New Here, not new to Infertility *BFP and loss mentioned*

Klang14

Hello...I am new to this board but not new to Infertility.  I will try to remember all the acronyms and rules .  I was on a board (baby center I think) 16 years ago and it helped my journey immensely!

I will try not to make this too long......

I have PCOS.  I am 43 and I have 2 sons from a previous marriage that are IVF babies -  (1 fresh, 1 frozen they are 16 and 12).  They are amazing and I am so thankful for them!!  I am newly married and my husband does not have kids so we would like to have one between us.  He is 40 - he has low motility and erratic sperm counts, some high, others low.  He is on Clomid to help w/both and seeing a urologist. Oh I also have him on Fertilaid and Motility Blend... .

We thought we would try to get pregnant last Sept after I saw my OB/GYN and got the all clear!  As a side note I started taking D-Chiro Inositol and have been ovulating on my own for over 2 yrs!!! (nothing else worked - metformin etc) We turned up pregnant last Sept - first month of trying.  The HCG levels were rising erratically - slow then double, then slow then double....and at 8 weeks there was no fetal pole, heartbeat, etc.  I had a DnC in Oct 2014.  After my beta went to zero we started our first round of IVF w/PGS testing in Nov.  Miscarriage results were a bad sperm and a bad egg . 

On 12/6/14 I went in for retrieval - they retrieved 30 eggs (i know this is a lot), 20 fertilized and 7 made it to blast for PGS testing.  On 12/22/14 we found out that all 7 embryos were abnormal and wouldn't sustain life - all were due to maternal issues.   We were in absolute shock and deeply saddened.  To add insult to injury we now had a new $350/mo payment for the next 2.5 yrs and no baby.  

We took Jan off, did IUI in Feb -- BPN!!  We are taking March and early April off but have recently decided to go the frozen egg donor route.  I'm not opposed to a fresh donor but didn't find one I like and frozen seems less risky from a backing out perspective etc.  Once AF comes in April I will start estrogen to grow my lining and hopefully xfer in early May w/my husbands sperm.

I have not seen a lot of input on women using frozen eggs vs fresh so I am wondering if I am making the right decision.  The cost is comparable - only a few thousand different and potentially you get more eggs with fresh but not always the case....so I wanted to see if anyone had some insight they could share on using a frozen donor.  I am using Fairfax and so far they have been great to work with. I will get a cohort of 7 eggs from a proven donor and her thaw results + stats are excellent.

I hope to be a good friend and supporter to you all and my wish is that we all graduate on to whatever makes us happy....baby or not, 3rd party or not .

dukegirlsc

I am just getting ready for my first IVF, it sounds as though you have a good plan in place. I wish you the very best and hope everything turns out well. I had a question. Do they do PGS when you use donor eggs as well?

Klang14

Hello dukegirlsc, Thank you for the well wishes!  

My RE said that we could do PGS but didn't see a need to in our case since most issues look to be maternal related...however he said that if we were concerned due to our MC results showing a bad sperm or were concerned w/birth order we could do it.  Its an extra $2300-2600 though.  I'm not sure if we are going to do it or not......not sure the risk is worth it and we will have to see how many oocytes make it through the thaw and how many fertilize...as its slightly more risky to test since you take some outer cells.

I'm so sorry for your losses....I hope that this next time works!!

Carol77B

Welcome to the board @Klang14 I am very sorry for your losses. Finding out that all seven were abnormal must have been devastating, as well. I am very impressed that you've made the tough decision to move to donor eggs. I'm very hopeful that if I can get four or more embryos to freeze that with my next ER we will get to do PGS. I don't know how I would react if I got similar results as you.  

A lot of our members moved on, but you may want to lurk on the PAIF/SAIF pages, because I know we have some success stories with donor eggs. I just jumped over to the Third Party Reproduction page, to make sure I had the name of the board right, and see you posted on there, too. So hopefully that will be helpful for you.

In my experience with two different clinics and a few different REs, they are not as concerned with sperm issues as they are with egg quality, so I think that you are doing all the right things with your husband's supplements, etc. Have you read "It Starts With the Egg?" I've found comfort in following a lot of the recommendations, so I feel like I'm actively doing "something" to improve my chances. I know you've decided to move on to donor eggs,  but I think you may still benefit from reading it, if you haven't already.

Good luck.

Klang14

Hi Carol,

Thank you for the sweet note!  I have not heard of that  book....I will take a peek.  I honestly must say that I was somewhat disillusioned when we started this recent IVF journey...while I know my eggs are old:)  I am a healthy, vibrant woman.  I didn't start taking all the supplements that I have now read about such as COQ10, Ubiqinol (sp?) etc....  I certainly didn't do acupuncture or any anti-stress things....that I probably should have.  I also have a demanding career at Dell so I guess I just thought eating/exercising was enough.  Now I'm kicking myself that I wasn't more proactive...but its done. I have really gone back and forth on this decision....and I am blessed to have 2 sons already...but I just feel like women are so nurturing by nature that at the end of the day it will be our baby because I carried it. And being able to see my husbands 'features' is more important than seeing my own....if that makes any sense.  I only see my features in my features in ONE of my sons...the other one doesn't look like me.....or anybody....but he does resemble his brother.....sorry...I'm rambling...

I just feel like if I tried again w/my eggs - my AMH is 9.1!!! and of course my retrieval results were amazing.....and I was lucky enough to get pregnant that I would just be 'waiting to miscarry' if that makes sense.....whereas I think I will be less worried using a donor egg.

Its all very over whelming but I know that I want my husband and I to have a baby and I want to experience this all first hand through his eyes.....he will be an amazing father!

Good luck w/your next cycle...I pray that NOBODY gets results like ours.....but I do believe that everything happens for a reason and I continue to be hopeful/prayerful and try not to look back.  Please keep us posted on your journey!!!  Wishing you super positive thoughts!!