Found out during ultrasound today that I miscarried...debating to "wait" or D&E?

SarahKBell

I have suspected i had miscarried for a little while now and today it was officially confirmed. I am so so heartbroken and I never thought this would happen to me, just like many women feel i'm sure. I am faced with a lot now, one problem being I have a 13 month old son who is quite a handful and my husband works from 5am-6pm Mon-Friday each week. I'm terrified at the thought of waiting it out for the "expulsion" of baby, as i don't know how painful it's going to be and if i'll be able to handle the pain whilst watching my son throughout the day (I'm an at home mama) while my husband works that long. Did anyone have to deal with a similiar situation as this? If so, how did you manage and what did you do?

If I don't pass it this weekend, I guess I'm wanting to have a D&E so we can take care of it and I don't have to run this risk of something bad happening while my husband works all day and I'm with my son. Has anyone done this? What did they do? Please try and be careful in what i'm being told, no scary stories please as this is already all very scary for me as it is. 

Thank you everyone and my heart goes out to those of you who have lost a sweet angel baby too. I'm right with you and my heart aches along with yours

With much love

4N6s

I'm so sorry for your loss.
My doctor didn't allow me to have a d&c... I was pretty much forced to wait. Ha.
With that said, I was glad I waited and that it happened naturally.
Cytotec is also a possibility.

There is no good choice and they all suck, let's be honest.

KMKaiser07

I am so sorry for your loss. I started bleeding Tuesday night and thought I wanted a natural miscarriage but as the days went on, I just wished for intervention. I passed everything today and am so thankful I waited to do it naturally despite feeling differently while in the middle of it. I think it was the emotions that wanted it to end.

ALK2008

I'm so sorry for your loss, I had a miscarriage at about 8 weeks along. I agreed to watch my aunts kids for a week while they went on a trip out of state and ended up finding out that we lost the baby about 4 days before I needed to be at their house to watch the girls. I opted for a d&c because I didn't want to wait it out/deal with the pain before going away for over a week. Also if helped me heal so much faster emotionally. I don't think I would have been as strong as I was around those girls if I didn't have that done. It was like sealing the deal that it's over and allowed me to move past it. Each person is different but I will say, if you decide on the d&c make sure your hubby can take the day off of work to watch your little one. After the procedure I slept the entire day away. The second day is much easier to handle with very little pain or bleeding. All I needed was a light pad(if that) and some Advil. I hope this helps, once again I'm so sorry for your loss.

SarahKBell

Thank you ladies for your willingness to share your hearts and stories with me. It means the world during this time to connect with women who 'get it'. 

I ended up choosing to take cytotec last night and passing everything this early morning. It was very manageable pain-wise, and as "good" of an experience you can have as far as minimal pain while passing everything during a miscarriage goes. It was so hard for me emotionally and physically, as I was up all night long pretty much with my husband (he was such a rock for me during that time). I am so glad it's over but I feel an emptiness here and I know it is time for me to go on with the grieving process. Thank you all again for your input, thoughts and condolensces. My sympathy towards all of you ladies too. 

With much love

oxsarah7ox

@SarahKBell I believe I am in a similar situation. We found out on Monday at our first U/S when we should have been 9.5 weeks that the baby was measuring 6 weeks and with no heartbeat. The Dr took bloodwork but let us know we can wait it out for it to happen on its own, take a medication to help it along to happen, or a D&C. Is the Cytotec the medication she is speaking of? I feel like I can't emotionally take waiting, but I don't think I am mentally or physically prepared for  D&C. The Dr wants a follow up appt tomorrow, at which I assume she will be talking about those three options again with us.

I am so sorry for your loss, and pray for you and your family at this time andin your future.

SarahKBell

@oxsarah7ox probably the cytotec yes. Honestly, don't make any decision with haste. Take all the time you feel you need and wait til you're emotionally ready and don't make your decision on an emotional whim. I made my decision on a emotional whim to have a D&C and ended up taking cytotec because i wanted to be home and 'more in control' if you will. Personally, my experience was about as 'good' as it gets when passing everything. I was really scared at first because all i read online was terrible experiences about cytotec but the labor/pain was manageable for me. It was not bad at all painwise. But everyone is different. But do yourself a favor and DO NOT read anything online about it ok? You will freak yourself out, i did that and ended up having things go very well for me.

I'm sorry for your loss and i mourn with you for your angel baby and my own

oxsarah7ox

@SarahKBell thank you so much for your kind words. I talked to the Dr today and we are considering misoprostol (I assume much like cytotec). I am a teacher and have the week off next week and I feel that my husband and I may move forward with the medication next week where I can be home, and have not too much to worry about aside from mourning our lost child. I think with it being the week before Easter it is a little uplifting to be able to consider our little angel moving on at that time. Another mother wrote in another forum about not reading anything online and I plan to follow both of your instructions! Thank you again, and my thoughts are with you as well