Needing support (potential BFP mentioned)

Cvfazel

Hi all,

I'm 29 with "skinny" PCOS, been ttc for almost 2 years. We did our first IVF cycle in October 2013 but couldn't transfer any fresh due to lining timing. Transferred 1 frozen embryo in November, and it took. Sadly, we lost this pregnancy at 6 weeks (no heartbeat found). Needless to say, we were devastated.

I just did a frozen transfer with my last 2 frozen embryos last week. I have been so incredibly anxious that I started taking HPTs at 3dp5dt. To my surprise, I got a very faint positive on FRER on the morning of 3dp5dt. I was obviously excited and thought maybe they both took for it to show so early. Well, I have been testing more since then. Today is 5dp5dt, and this morning the line is still very faint. It is visible, but I do not believe it has gotten any darker since 2 days ago. 

My beta isn't scheduled for another 6 days. I know I should just relax and stop testing, but I have already gotten myself into this trouble. I am now absolutely terrified that I am having or am going to have a chemical pregnancy. With my last singleton pregnancy, I had a very clear FRER positive and positive digital on 6dp5dt, but I was not testing sooner to observe progression.

I am so scared and upset and could really use some support to get me through this week.

ronniesgirl1981

I am truly very sorry for your loss, but this is not the right board for you.

Cvfazel

Ronniesgirl,

Thank you for your condolences. They are appreciated. 

Perhaps it would be helpful if this board contained some guidelines somewhere of what is and what is not appropriate to post here. After undergoing numerous cycles with Clomid, Femara, multiple IUIs, endometriosis treatment, cervical stenosis, IVF, FETs, and a miscarriage, I certainly feel like an "Infertility Veteran." I chose this board because it implied to me that I would be speaking to women who had been through previous fertility treatment failures and would understand my heartache as opposed to a board with women just starting out on their fertility journeys. I guess I chose wrong, and I do apologize if I upset you or anyone else.

I completely understand why in our fragile emotional states we cannot handle discussing certain things and wish to reserve a board to avoid them. Lord knows I don't want to hear about someone "accidentally" getting pregnant or getting pregnant on their first timed intercourse cycle. But one of the hardest parts about infertility is figuring out where we fit in in the world--for me it is figuring out my purpose in life if it is not to be a mother. It would be great if we could be more supportive and welcoming to each other. 

To avoid these situations and to avoid making people like me feel like I don't belong on any board, I hope the guidelines are more clearly (or at all) posted to newcomers.

sorrellam30

Read the description of the board under the heading

ronniesgirl1981

@Cvfazel Here is the descriptor for this board:

Infertility Veterans

Regardless of where you are in your journey, IF Veterans is a forum for those with an active (6 month+) history on the IF board and an established connection to the IF community (IF, PAIF, and SAIF). Support, compassion, and humor encouraged. This board deals with the emotional aspects of an extended IF history. Visit Infertility for general information and questions