Registeries frustration/ baby shower

mrscasey306

I registered and target and babies are us it was where ppl could easily see it on the baby shower invite and Yep very few people went off it for the shower . Why bother registering if people are just going to get what they think you need! Sorry I'm venting .. Can't vent anywhere else because I don't want to seem ungrateful because I do appreciate what they took out the time to buy . I just wish they got stuff off my registeries instead of just buying clothes . I'm done now lol

sschwege

Some of the best gifts we received were not on our registry, a Woombie for example (this little swaddle thing) saved my life!  DD went from waking every 1 hr and 15 min at night to sleeping 4-6 hours in it.  So you might be pleasantly surprised. 

Either way, a registry is a list of suggested items and you really don't sound very appreciative!  You will still get a completion discount and have a list of what you still need to buy, so it wasn't a waste of time.

Sharon&Paul

It sounds like this is recent, so emotions may still be raw. However, clothes will come in useful. I found most people did handmade or bought something they felt was useful for my baby shower than for a wedding shower where they stuck to the registry. We returned a few things that we got duplicates. However, you really can not expect to get everything you need at your shower. You will be surprised how much you really don't need.

MommaBre2007

Return the items and purchase what you want.

tigerlily25

You do sound unappreciative. What is one of the first lessons we learn as children? ...It's the thought that counts? My baby shower is coming up and so far my registry is still full of items, meaning people probably bought elsewhere. I even know of some friends and family that are making their baby shower presents because they have hinted towards it. Am I grateful? Yes, because they took the time and energy to think of something I would enjoy and cherish instead of picking some random thing off of a list.

marybeth05

People enjoy shopping for baby clothes. It was probably more fun to shop for a cute little outfit than for diapers or bottles.
You DO sound ungrateful.

edelat11

Ouch.
I can understand your frustration because a registry takes a while to put together. But no one HAD to buy you anything.
I hope you come to peace with this soon.

Marisang15

Do you sound ungrateful? yes. Do I know EXACTLY where you are coming from? HECK YES!! I had my shower around the Christmas holidays due to my family living all over the world and country. I figured everyone would be "home" and wouldn't have to make a special trip for me. I am a STM but my oldest is 9 and will be 10 this year, so I am starting completely from scratch when it comes to things baby and I need. I did a registry, Target and Babies R Us as well and purposely did not put a single item of clothing on there. I as received mostly clothing.. I was very upset. My mother spent quite a bit of time and money on my baby shower and all I got was clothes. Yea, that may make me ungrateful but when I thin about how much money my mom willingly spent on food, cake, decorations, location and everything else that goes into planning a baby shower, she could have just given me the cash and I would have everything I need. Instead, she's out the cash, all I have is clothes and I still have essentials to buy. Yes, clothes are essential but I've actually been picking up 95% of baby clothes from thrift stores. So I guess we will just be ungrateful together. :-)

kjuryfl

Return what you don't want. Sorry you're disappointed but how awesome of them to spoil your little one! 

taahira

This sounds so ungrateful, you decided to have a baby, what isn't purchased, buy yourself. It's not your friends and families responsibility to provide your essentials for your baby.

sschwege

Marisang15 said:

Do you sound ungrateful? yes. Do I know EXACTLY where you are coming from? HECK YES!! I had my shower around the Christmas holidays due to my family living all over the world and country. I figured everyone would be "home" and wouldn't have to make a special trip for me. I am a STM but my oldest is 9 and will be 10 this year, so I am starting completely from scratch when it comes to things baby and I need. I did a registry, Target and Babies R Us as well and purposely did not put a single item of clothing on there. I as received mostly clothing.. I was very upset. My mother spent quite a bit of time and money on my baby shower and all I got was clothes. Yea, that may make me ungrateful but when I thin about how much money my mom willingly spent on food, cake, decorations, location and everything else that goes into planning a baby shower, she could have just given me the cash and I would have everything I need. Instead, she's out the cash, all I have is clothes and I still have essentials to buy. Yes, clothes are essential but I've actually been picking up 95% of baby clothes from thrift stores. So I guess we will just be ungrateful together. :-)

So your mom was kind enough to host a shower for you, people came spent time with you and brought you thoughtful gifts.  And knowing what you know now you wish your mom had just skipped the party in your honor, given you the money, so she wouldn't be 'out the cash' so you could buy what your baby needs.  Hmmm, perhaps it is your job to provide for your child.  Perhaps it is no ones fault that there is a 10 year age gap and you are starting from scratch as you say.  This just really makes me sad to imagine that there are people who think this way.

Marisang15

sschwege said:

Marisang15 said:

 

So your mom was kind enough to host a shower for you, people came spent time with you and brought you thoughtful gifts.  And knowing what you know now you wish your mom had just skipped the party in your honor, given you the money, so she wouldn't be 'out the cash' so you could buy what your baby needs.  Hmmm, perhaps it is your job to provide for your child.  Perhaps it is no ones fault that there is a 10 year age gap and you are starting from scratch as you say.  This just really makes me sad to imagine that there are people who think this way.

Sorry to hear that you're sad. I believe the main topic here was frustration of doing a registry that no one pays attention to. People ask where you are registered and don't even go look. What's the point? I don't expect/ ask anyone to provide for my child, so let's not even go there.

taahira

Marisang15 said:

sschwege said:

Marisang15 said:

 

So your mom was kind enough to host a shower for you, people came spent time with you and brought you thoughtful gifts.  And knowing what you know now you wish your mom had just skipped the party in your honor, given you the money, so she wouldn't be 'out the cash' so you could buy what your baby needs.  Hmmm, perhaps it is your job to provide for your child.  Perhaps it is no ones fault that there is a 10 year age gap and you are starting from scratch as you say.  This just really makes me sad to imagine that there are people who think this way.

Sorry to hear that you're sad. I believe the main topic here was frustration of doing a registry that no one pays attention to. People ask where you are registered and don't even go look. What's the point? I don't expect/ ask anyone to provide for my child, so let's not even go there.

Maybe re read your response. It sounds very gift grabby. You have a few people telling you the same thing.

tdmloverrn

I'm sorry you are frustrated, but how lucky you and your baby are to have received many gifts!

Marisang15

taahira said:

Marisang15 said:

sschwege said:

Marisang15 said:

 

So your mom was kind enough to host a shower for you, people came spent time with you and brought you thoughtful gifts.  And knowing what you know now you wish your mom had just skipped the party in your honor, given you the money, so she wouldn't be 'out the cash' so you could buy what your baby needs.  Hmmm, perhaps it is your job to provide for your child.  Perhaps it is no ones fault that there is a 10 year age gap and you are starting from scratch as you say.  This just really makes me sad to imagine that there are people who think this way.

Sorry to hear that you're sad. I believe the main topic here was frustration of doing a registry that no one pays attention to. People ask where you are registered and don't even go look. What's the point? I don't expect/ ask anyone to provide for my child, so let's not even go there.

Maybe re read your response. It sounds very gift grabby. You have a few people telling you the same thing.

Gift grabby? no. I just don't see the logic in setting up a registry to inform people of things you NEED and desire for them to turn around and spend $30 on 4 pink onsies. Am I grateful for them showing support? Absolutely. But it's frustrating when people are constantly calling, emailing, texting, and asking, "Where are you registered?" But hey, that's just my own personal opinion. :-)

mrscasey306

I am Very thankful for everything I got , and I have bought a lot of things on my own . I just don't understand take time to register and why people ask where you're registered over and over if they are not going to go bother to look . I always buy off registeries because it's usually what they need . You don't register just for fun or useless things unless your Kim kardashian ....

mnharkcom

I see both points. You do sound ungrateful; however, same thing happened to me and a lot of other ladies. It stinks knowing you pretty much made a registry for no reason, but in a few days when you calm down and go through stuff you'll at least realize you won't have to buy many clothes or whatever as before. I know for my shower I didn't get ANY necessities but at least I don't have to worry about clothes and blankets for the baby.

sschwege

Marisang15 said:

sschwege said:

Marisang15 said:

 

So your mom was kind enough to host a shower for you, people came spent time with you and brought you thoughtful gifts.  And knowing what you know now you wish your mom had just skipped the party in your honor, given you the money, so she wouldn't be 'out the cash' so you could buy what your baby needs.  Hmmm, perhaps it is your job to provide for your child.  Perhaps it is no ones fault that there is a 10 year age gap and you are starting from scratch as you say.  This just really makes me sad to imagine that there are people who think this way.

Sorry to hear that you're sad. I believe the main topic here was frustration of doing a registry that no one pays attention to. People ask where you are registered and don't even go look. What's the point? I don't expect/ ask anyone to provide for my child, so let's not even go there.

A registry is a list of suggested items, not demands.  So no, a registry is not a waste of time as you will receive a discount for completion thereby saving you money.  I mean you would still need to figure out what you were planning to purchase, so you have done that, wait for the coupon and you are all set. 

taahira

Marisang15 said:

Do you sound ungrateful? yes. Do I know EXACTLY where you are coming from? HECK YES!! I had my shower around the Christmas holidays due to my family living all over the world and country. I figured everyone would be "home" and wouldn't have to make a special trip for me. I am a STM but my oldest is 9 and will be 10 this year, so I am starting completely from scratch when it comes to things baby and I need. I did a registry, Target and Babies R Us as well and purposely did not put a single item of clothing on there. I as received mostly clothing.. I was very upset. My mother spent quite a bit of time and money on my baby shower and all I got was clothes. Yea, that may make me ungrateful but when I thin about how much money my mom willingly spent on food, cake, decorations, location and everything else that goes into planning a baby shower, she could have just given me the cash and I would have everything I need. Instead, she's out the cash, all I have is clothes and I still have essentials to buy. Yes, clothes are essential but I've actually been picking up 95% of baby clothes from thrift stores. So I guess we will just be ungrateful together. :-)

This is what comes across ungrateful. Why should your Mom give you the cash to buy what you need for your baby. If the soul purpose of your baby shower was to gain your babies essentials (which is how it comes across) then you miss the point of having a baby shower. You comparing the money spent on the shower didn't match up to what you received in gifts from your shower.

Lida1182

Same thing happened to me, I returned as much as I could, mostly because those that didn't buy off the registry bought duplicates of each other. Most stores will take things back without a receipt if you can guess where it's from. It is very frustrating, and like you said I would refrain from venting elsewhere because it does sound ungrateful, but I totally get it

vetdr03

I am SOOOO confused. If getting gifts for the child is NOT what a baby shower is for why the hell do you have them???? Why spend $$$ to get a bunch of clothes that the baby may never ever wear when she needed bottles, wipes, pampers etc. She can get clothes from the thrift store or ebay in bulk for the cost of probably one outfit that someone got that her child may never wear. And how can she return it when must people take tags off and don't give receipts?

I completely understand the other pp about her mom. Think about it. People have asked me one million times about a shower (I didn't want to do one because I'm not working and we didn't want someone else to have to pay for it). But because even my husband is getting asked, we said we would combine it with our house warming. I didn't go running up to folk being them to come to a shower and clearly we want to take care of our own child. But, if I pay $300 to have a shower, that's $300 not going to my child. The least I can hope is if you ask me where I am registered, I tell you or you read it on the invite, you will actually heed it. Pampers.and stuff are not cheap, so having people get things you don't need, you still have to get things you need and more you (or someone) is out of a lot of money...It is upsetting.

AGAIN...BABY SHOWERS ARE FOR GIFTS (HENCE THE NAME BABY SHOWER...I.E. SHOWER YOU WITH THINGS YOU NEED FOR THE BABY). I don't need 12 pink frilly dresses in size 0- 3 months. Sad part is, it will mainly be other mothers doing it add if they don't get what you really need. So no you don't sound ungrateful, you sound frustrated because you still have everything you have to get and plenty you can't use.

taahira

vetdr03 said:

I am SOOOO confused. If getting gifts for the child is NOT what a baby shower is for why the hell do you have them???? Why spend $$$ to get a bunch of clothes that the baby may never ever wear when she needed bottles, wipes, pampers etc. She can get clothes from the thrift store or ebay in bulk for the cost of probably one outfit that someone got that her child may never wear. And how can she return it when must people take tags off and don't give receipts?

I completely understand the other pp about her mom. Think about it. People have asked me one million times about a shower (I didn't want to do one because I'm not working and we didn't want someone else to have to pay for it). But because even my husband is getting asked, we said we would combine it with our house warming. I didn't go running up to folk being them to come to a shower and clearly we want to take care of our own child. But, if I pay $300 to have a shower, that's $300 not going to my child. The least I can hope is if you ask me where I am registered, I tell you or you read it on the invite, you will actually heed it. Pampers.and stuff are not cheap, so having people get things you don't need, you still have to get things you need and more you (or someone) is out of a lot of money...It is upsetting.

AGAIN...BABY SHOWERS ARE FOR GIFTS (HENCE THE NAME BABY SHOWER...I.E. SHOWER YOU WITH THINGS YOU NEED FOR THE BABY). I don't need 12 pink frilly dresses in size 0- 3 months. Sad part is, it will mainly be other mothers doing it add if they don't get what you really need. So no you don't sound ungrateful, you sound frustrated because you still have everything you have to get and plenty you can't use.

Oh dear!

tigerlily25

vetdr03 said:

I am SOOOO confused. If getting gifts for the child is NOT what a baby shower is for why the hell do you have them???? Why spend $$$ to get a bunch of clothes that the baby may never ever wear when she needed bottles, wipes, pampers etc. She can get clothes from the thrift store or ebay in bulk for the cost of probably one outfit that someone got that her child may never wear. And how can she return it when must people take tags off and don't give receipts?

I completely understand the other pp about her mom. Think about it. People have asked me one million times about a shower (I didn't want to do one because I'm not working and we didn't want someone else to have to pay for it). But because even my husband is getting asked, we said we would combine it with our house warming. I didn't go running up to folk being them to come to a shower and clearly we want to take care of our own child. But, if I pay $300 to have a shower, that's $300 not going to my child. The least I can hope is if you ask me where I am registered, I tell you or you read it on the invite, you will actually heed it. Pampers.and stuff are not cheap, so having people get things you don't need, you still have to get things you need and more you (or someone) is out of a lot of money...It is upsetting.

AGAIN...BABY SHOWERS ARE FOR GIFTS (HENCE THE NAME BABY SHOWER...I.E. SHOWER YOU WITH THINGS YOU NEED FOR THE BABY). I don't need 12 pink frilly dresses in size 0- 3 months. Sad part is, it will mainly be other mothers doing it add if they don't get what you really need. So no you don't sound ungrateful, you sound frustrated because you still have everything you have to get and plenty you can't use.

A shower is a nice gesture thrown by a loved one, who wants to welcome the guest of honor into motherhood and celebrate with friends and family. Yes, gifts are expected, but that is not the sole purpose of the shower. If that was the case, why not just send your friends a family a wish list of things you want and save your hostess the trouble of throwing the shower in the first place? To throw one yourself is tacky and gift grabby. With that being said, if you were to god forbid receive items you didn't need/want/already received/etc. exchange them! But don't act like an ungrateful, entitled brat.

JulieMarie21

I get your frustration, but that is probably an opinion I would not have told anyone but my husband because it is so ungrateful sounding.

You will get a discount from the store to complete your registry and people may buy an item off of the registry when the baby is born. So making a registry is not totally pointless.

Just warning you, people may bring you and the baby a gift when the baby is born, something you didn't ask for, but just as a welcome our congratulations. Try not to be disappointed.

MommaBre2007

My Mom has told me when she had a shower for my brother, her oldest child, showers were mostly a Status thing and you did not recieve things the baby needed, you recieved mementos. The point of a shower is to shower the baby with gifts and honor the mother. Showers have become more practical. I never buy people things off their registery. I buy Diapers, wipes, diaper cream and bottles. But I am a mom that has experianced raising a child on a budget. I told my best friends not to throw me a shower bc they are too busy and bith are starting out their nursing careers. But I did ask that my friends that we have dinner before my baby is born help welcome her. No gifts. Just return the clothes. No one needs to know.

frownyface

I don't even know who to respond to, because there is so much gross entitlement in here.

Be grateful. Many people don't have loved ones to throw showers for them. Be happy people didn't know that all you cared about were registry gifts so that they actually came to honor and spend time with you.

vetdr03

Then it should be called a motherhood shower! If people are so "gracious" to throw it because others are bugging you to have one then yes you are entitled to say please help with things I need, not things you think are cute in the store. Otherwise, just bring that by one day after work and it won't have cost anyone anything. I don't need a welcome to motherhood party...no one does and you all can stop playing like you would!! Y'all killing me with these self righteousness attitudes as if you got millions to spend and having 10 people bring blankets but not one pack of pampers that you told them you needed in your registry when THEY ASKED YOU WHERE YOU ARE REGISTERED wouldn't bother you. And all this crap about raise your own baby. Baby raising use to be a village thing. If you don't want the help...that's you! Struggle on! Some people would appreciate not having to come up with the amount of stuff that babies need.

As far as throwing your own shower...who the hell cares what you think is tacky? Were you invited? Nope! And trust I still have people emailing and texting that they can't wait to come. Don't have one, makes me nor the op, no never-mind. But, if I spend the money because people ask me to, I would APPRECIATE registry items. I registered for pampers, wipes, onsies and bottle supplies. I plan to get her clothes in bulk from EBay (my last child outgrew everything and I still had tags on half his clothes...that's a waste of money). Will I smile and say thank you for the 10 blankets...sure (as I'm sure the op did), but I will also regret spending the money for the shower as that could have gone towards pampers, wipes, onsies and bottle supplies no one got (btw getting a discount doesn't equal free so we still have to purchase those items). People who genuinely want to give you a gift, would do it without a shower, so miss me with that motherhood party crap. Y'all love making up stuff to look right!

taahira

vetdr03 said:

Then it should be called a motherhood shower! If people are so "gracious" to throw it because others are bugging you to have one then yes you are entitled to say please help with things I need, not things you think are cute in the store. Otherwise, just bring that by one day after work and it won't have cost anyone anything. I don't need a welcome to motherhood party...no one does and you all can stop playing like you would!! Y'all killing me with these self righteousness attitudes as if you got millions to spend and having 10 people bring blankets but not one pack of pampers that you told them you needed in your registry when THEY ASKED YOU WHERE YOU ARE REGISTERED wouldn't bother you. And all this crap about raise your own baby. Baby raising use to be a village thing. If you don't want the help...that's you! Struggle on! Some people would appreciate not having to come up with the amount of stuff that babies need.

As far as throwing your own shower...who the hell cares what you think is tacky? Were you invited? Nope! And trust I still have people emailing and texting that they can't wait to come. Don't have one, makes me nor the op, no never-mind. But, if I spend the money because people ask me to, I would APPRECIATE registry items. I registered for pampers, wipes, onsies and bottle supplies. I plan to get her clothes in bulk from EBay (my last child outgrew everything and I still had tags on half his clothes...that's a waste of money). Will I smile and say thank you for the 10 blankets...sure (as I'm sure the op did), but I will also regret spending the money for the shower as that could have gone towards pampers, wipes, onsies and bottle supplies no one got (btw getting a discount doesn't equal free so we still have to purchase those items). People who genuinely want to give you a gift, would do it without a shower, so miss me with that motherhood party crap. Y'all love making up stuff to look right!

) You should check with the village before falling pregnant to see if everyone wants to help you provide for your baby.
"It takes a village to raise baby"
Not "it takes a village to provide for my baby"

Pix3lle

Honestly everything i need i, or close family/ friends have purchased already.
I don't think i could ever leave the important stuff late enough to be given as shower gifts... Not that we have registries for showers here, but i don't think i'd use it! All i anticipate is clothing to be honest, and a lot of towels and blankets from what my MIL said haha

I can understand being disappointed if you wanted/ needed x but got y instead, but a lot of people wont be able to afford more than clothes or misc stuff anyway, id just appreciate the gesture ;p
Plus surprise gifts are fun!

frownyface

vetdr03 said:

Then it should be called a motherhood shower! If people are so "gracious" to throw it because others are bugging you to have one then yes you are entitled to say please help with things I need, not things you think are cute in the store. Otherwise, just bring that by one day after work and it won't have cost anyone anything. I don't need a welcome to motherhood party...no one does and you all can stop playing like you would!! Y'all killing me with these self righteousness attitudes as if you got millions to spend and having 10 people bring blankets but not one pack of pampers that you told them you needed in your registry when THEY ASKED YOU WHERE YOU ARE REGISTERED wouldn't bother you. And all this crap about raise your own baby. Baby raising use to be a village thing. If you don't want the help...that's you! Struggle on! Some people would appreciate not having to come up with the amount of stuff that babies need.

As far as throwing your own shower...who the hell cares what you think is tacky? Were you invited? Nope! And trust I still have people emailing and texting that they can't wait to come. Don't have one, makes me nor the op, no never-mind. But, if I spend the money because people ask me to, I would APPRECIATE registry items. I registered for pampers, wipes, onsies and bottle supplies. I plan to get her clothes in bulk from EBay (my last child outgrew everything and I still had tags on half his clothes...that's a waste of money). Will I smile and say thank you for the 10 blankets...sure (as I'm sure the op did), but I will also regret spending the money for the shower as that could have gone towards pampers, wipes, onsies and bottle supplies no one got (btw getting a discount doesn't equal free so we still have to purchase those items). People who genuinely want to give you a gift, would do it without a shower, so miss me with that motherhood party crap. Y'all love making up stuff to look right!

Pix3lle

vetdr03
I'd like to have a shower just to celebrate the baby, gifts or no... It's a nice social gathering of friends and family.
Why would you NEED to spend $300 on a shower? I wouldn't spend that, nor expect my host to spend that! (And none of my guests would expect that much spent on a shower either)
You can do invites, get finger food, make some cupcakes and come up with some games for under $50. About the same cost of hosting any other event really.
Just like everything else, it's a matter of budgeting and not inviting every person under the sun.

tdart14

Someone certainly has a strong sense of entitlement. Defiantly a SS.

tigerlily25

vetdr03 said:

Then it should be called a motherhood shower! If people are so "gracious" to throw it because others are bugging you to have one then yes you are entitled to say please help with things I need, not things you think are cute in the store. Otherwise, just bring that by one day after work and it won't have cost anyone anything. I don't need a welcome to motherhood party...no one does and you all can stop playing like you would!! Y'all killing me with these self righteousness attitudes as if you got millions to spend and having 10 people bring blankets but not one pack of pampers that you told them you needed in your registry when THEY ASKED YOU WHERE YOU ARE REGISTERED wouldn't bother you. And all this crap about raise your own baby. Baby raising use to be a village thing. If you don't want the help...that's you! Struggle on! Some people would appreciate not having to come up with the amount of stuff that babies need.

As far as throwing your own shower...who the hell cares what you think is tacky? Were you invited? Nope! And trust I still have people emailing and texting that they can't wait to come. Don't have one, makes me nor the op, no never-mind. But, if I spend the money because people ask me to, I would APPRECIATE registry items. I registered for pampers, wipes, onsies and bottle supplies. I plan to get her clothes in bulk from EBay (my last child outgrew everything and I still had tags on half his clothes...that's a waste of money). Will I smile and say thank you for the 10 blankets...sure (as I'm sure the op did), but I will also regret spending the money for the shower as that could have gone towards pampers, wipes, onsies and bottle supplies no one got (btw getting a discount doesn't equal free so we still have to purchase those items). People who genuinely want to give you a gift, would do it without a shower, so miss me with that motherhood party crap. Y'all love making up stuff to look right!

Nobody "needs" a motherhood shower, just like nobody "needs" a baby shower. If a loved one offers to throw you one and you don't want one, simply decline! Or as a few entitled ones one here have written- be honest to your hostess and just ask them for the cash they would have spent instead. I believe the phase "it takes a village to raise a child" does not mean, "it takes a village to buy my child a bunch of crap that I don't want to buy myself". Most likely, friends and family will still buy you gifts anyways, without a shower. If they don't- suck it up and buy it yourself like an adult, geez. And I don't know what is so hard about exchanging un-needed items.

sschwege

@vetdr03 I have a few ideas for you.  Consider returning or if that's not possible then sell the items you don't want.  Try Craig's List, Once Upon a Child, etc.  Most things other than diapers/wipes and car seat can be bought second hand.  Consider breastfeeding, which will save you a ton and you won't need more than a couple of bottles.  Consider cloth diapering, those you can buy second hand and they pay for themselves very quickly.  Pampers are more expensive than say the Target brand and at least for my child work just as well (we CD, but when we need a disposable it does the trick) Onsies can certainly be found at any second hand place or mom to mom sales.  Or even see if your friends are willing to lend you stuff.

Whatever you decide to do, baby showers are not charity events.  It is not your friends' and family's responsibility to provide for your child.  A registry is a list of suggested items, not demands.  So what if people asked where you were registered? Simply inquiring doesn't mean they are required to make a purchase.  So what if people ask if you are having a shower?  That doesn't mean you have to have one, nor should you be hosting it yourself.  Maybe your friends are just looking for free cake, sounds like you don't have a problem asking your nearest and dearest to open up their wallet.  Perhaps they are tired of having to 'shower' you with gifts, this isn't your first child after all!

mrsmeyer419

How awful, someone bought your child something it can use. Yes we make registries hoping people will look at them, but honestly you should know better. Most people buy what they want.

mrscasey306

Ok.. Again I am NOT ungrateful for what people spent their money .i very much APPRECIATE it . My question was...why register and why do people ask where you registered if they are not going to look at it .. That is my peace , all I'm going to say . This is my first baby don't know about the other girl .and that's all I'm saying on this anymore

ewilson74

Decades later and I still have lots of things that were given to my mother at my baby shower. Those women played important roles in my life and the gifts that were bought or made for me, I still cherish.

My registry consists of things that I (and I do stress "I") need to buy. Most are big ticket items, and items that I would never expect others to purchase for me. It is a way for me to keep track, goodness knows I have been forgetting lots lately.

It would never cross my mind to buy someone baby wipes or pampers. Really? Something that is going to end up in the garbage.

Maybe it is that I am AMA, or that my mother raised me to be appreciative and gracious, but I am astounded by the entitlement of some of you.

kjuryfl

vetdr03 said:

Then it should be called a motherhood shower! If people are so "gracious" to throw it because others are bugging you to have one then yes you are entitled to say please help with things I need, not things you think are cute in the store. Otherwise, just bring that by one day after work and it won't have cost anyone anything. I don't need a welcome to motherhood party...no one does and you all can stop playing like you would!! Y'all killing me with these self righteousness attitudes as if you got millions to spend and having 10 people bring blankets but not one pack of pampers that you told them you needed in your registry when THEY ASKED YOU WHERE YOU ARE REGISTERED wouldn't bother you. And all this crap about raise your own baby. Baby raising use to be a village thing. If you don't want the help...that's you! Struggle on! Some people would appreciate not having to come up with the amount of stuff that babies need.

As far as throwing your own shower...who the hell cares what you think is tacky? Were you invited? Nope! And trust I still have people emailing and texting that they can't wait to come. Don't have one, makes me nor the op, no never-mind. But, if I spend the money because people ask me to, I would APPRECIATE registry items. I registered for pampers, wipes, onsies and bottle supplies. I plan to get her clothes in bulk from EBay (my last child outgrew everything and I still had tags on half his clothes...that's a waste of money). Will I smile and say thank you for the 10 blankets...sure (as I'm sure the op did), but I will also regret spending the money for the shower as that could have gone towards pampers, wipes, onsies and bottle supplies no one got (btw getting a discount doesn't equal free so we still have to purchase those items). People who genuinely want to give you a gift, would do it without a shower, so miss me with that motherhood party crap. Y'all love making up stuff to look right!

I'm confused. Why are you having a child if you cannot come up the necessities? Just because some people actually purchase their kid the things they need doesn't mean they have millions.. It means they are responsible and planned for those expenses. Let me guess.. You are one of those people who constantly expect other people and agencies to take care of you. Grow up and take responsibility for the life YOU (not a village) are bringing into this world.

lola2bee

I kind of get this - with my first I think 2 people bought off my registry and that was it. I think what happens is people ask for the registry to see if they WANT to buy anything from it. If they don't they buy something else. And in general people just love buying cute clothes and that is a train that is hard to stop. ;-)

mrscasey306

Yes it is.. Her closet if already fully stocked since I went crazy when I found out she was a girl .

Dvine21

I understand the frustration, a shower and registry go hand and hand. A shower is ment to celebrate the arrival of a new baby into the family and for people to shower the baby with gifts. A registry to me is an idea of what we need and could use for the baby. I'd rather someone buy what we need rather then random stuff that will probably not be used (because babies grow so fast) and speaking from experiance, you don't end up using everything and eventually it either expires or donated eventually. I don't get mad if people show up empty handed or buys something at random, but I'd rather people not waste their money either.