TTC with a husband who doesent quite get it!

DR53114

Hey all so my husband and I are TTC and I have been doing all my research and such on my FW and CD etc...

He is younger than me 4 years to be exact and with me being 28 I can feel my clock ticking!

He is on board but he just doesn't get like the whole we need to TTC lol. He's just like very laid back about it and wants to just have sex when he feels like it, wither or not its my FW and such.

I think I am more on board than he is obviously and this is frustrating. Anyone else out there have the same issue or have any advice?

I am starting to get very emotional about it and having a hard time with it.

Thanks!

PugsandKisses

Just don't tell him. I know my dh wanted children but couldn't perform on demand. Ito made it easier on our relationship for me not to be like 'ok, I am ovulating, let's go'.
I had to keep sex fun. And you are only 28, you have many potential reproductive years ahead of you.

MrsN092714

I think a lot of hubby's are like this. They don't want to think about the details and the more we pile on them the more stressful and off putting it can be for them (of coarse, not all men fall into this category but definitely some!). I say do what you need to do, if you temp or use OPKs or whatever, do it! Instead of announcing its your fertile week or that ovulation is coming, just initiate sex. I Feel pretty safe in saying that all men don't mind that! Try not to get stressed out about it. Go about living your life in a normal way. Find a hobby or so,ething to keep you busy during the waiting periods. Good luck!

ShallowSeas

Ditto pp's. Initiate it yourself. Don't make it feel like a chore.  Talk to your H about your concerns.  As long as you're having regular (3x a week is what my GYN told me) unprotected sex, you're good. You don't need to have sex every day in your FW.

Normannicole920

Ya I don't tell my husband unless he asks. The cool thing is ....sorry tmi....but I get more into sex the closer I am to my fw....naturally without having to work at it. So for me at least I don't have to worry about telling him that it's time because I naturally feel inclined. So it's more of a natural thing I guess and he usually doesn't even think about it. Keep it fun this is supposed to be the fun part :^) (my husband also doesn't like pressure it doesn't work for him at all lol)

jnnfrrose6

Another one for not talking too much about it. I told DH I was going to start temping/charting. He wanted to be more "relaxed" about it. I told him that me taking my temp and charting it did not impact him in any way so he could just get over it. He's on board with it now because he knows it keeps me from going crazy wondering when to POAS or if we hit our FW. I just don't tell him the details.

DR53114

Thanks everyone! You all made me feel much better about this whole thing. I deff will keep him in the loop if he asks and other than that just have fun with it!

Thanks!

PrimRoseMama

PugsandKisses said:

Just don't tell him. I know my dh wanted children but couldn't perform on demand. Ito made it easier on our relationship for me not to be like 'ok, I am ovulating, let's go'.
I had to keep sex fun. And you are only 28, you have many potential reproductive years ahead of you.

Yes, agree with Pugs&Kisses. Don't make sex a chore & enjoy this time. Really, you don't have to go nuts during your fertile window.

TheBorg7of9

28 is not old. Scheduled sex is no fun. Just have sex 2-3 times a week and you will most likely hit your fertile window.

3houlagirl

What is wrong with your biological clock, if it's ticking that loud at 28?!

28 is not old. Just because you are in a hurry to have a baby does not mean you don't have plenty of time to do so.

Konaney

28 is not old, my friend.

MyaSch

Regardless of your age if you feel your body telling you that you need to have a baby then that's the way you feel (i feel the same way right now) and my husband is the same way if it happens it happens if it doesn't then he's fine with it. I sat down with him for a serious conversion about how I felt about the whole thing and now he understands where I'm coming from. He still isn't in the same boat but he's more supportive.

TheBorg7of9

MyaSch said:

Regardless of your age if you feel your body telling you that you need to have a baby then that's the way you feel (i feel the same way right now) and my husband is the same way if it happens it happens if it doesn't then he's fine with it. I sat down with him for a serious conversion about how I felt about the whole thing and now he understands where I'm coming from. He still isn't in the same boat but he's more supportive.

I think age actually has a lot to do with it. At age 38, your biological click is actually ticking and medically your time is actually getting closer to running out. At 28, you are no where near running into a biological brick wall, so there's no need to stress about that.

27alex

I'm 25, my husband is 28. While I don't feel like my biological clock is ticking, I'm personally in a rush to have a baby because I'm ready to be a mom.

We've been not trying, not preventing for three years, and actively trying for a year. I count 8 cycles because those are the ones we've had sex during our fertile window. I do not push sex on my husband before ovulation, nor do I mention it at all. We enjoy sex, because we love each other and it's part of our relationship. Don't put pressure on your relationship, it causes stress and a rift between you.

MsTSR

28 is not old, but when it comes to starting a family that's a perfect age. I wish I would have been married at that age. I'll be 34 in 2 weeks and been ttc for a year with a irregular cycle. Last year i had about 5 or 6 cycles. I did a lot of crying 2014 and almost gave up. But I'm back at it again. Wish me luck. Oh and as for my hubby, I don't tell him much, but let's have sex lol

auttiegreeley

If she feels like her fertile clock is ticking, that is how she feels. She doesn't need to be told that she has "plenty of time" or is "not old". She can feel how ever she wants to feel and it is discouraging to try to get pregnant when you want it to happen fast. Try to be understanding.

TheBorg7of9

auttiegreeley said:

If she feels like her fertile clock is ticking, that is how she feels. She doesn't need to be told that she has "plenty of time" or is "not old". She can feel how ever she wants to feel and it is discouraging to try to get pregnant when you want it to happen fast. Try to be understanding.

A biological clock is a real thing. if she feels it is ticking, she is wrong. I think that should make her feel better. Why would she want to feel like her eggs are drying up when they're not?
Of course it's discouraging to not get pregnant right away, but that's life and many of us have gone through it. Trying to act like you have a medical problem when you don't, how would that make you feel any better. Isn't it more constructive to tell someone they have no reason to worry?

AdeleDazeem

DR53114 said:

He is on board but he just doesn't get like the whole we need to TTC lol. He's just like very laid back about it and wants to just have sex when he feels like it, wither or not its my FW and such.

I think I am more on board than he is obviously and this is frustrating. Anyone else out there have the same issue or have any advice?

Have sex when you feel like it.  If you make trying to conceive a chore or a job, then you're treating your husband as a sperm donor and sex as a means to something else that has nothing to do with loving your spouse.

I loathe when people do this.  I'm all on your husband's side on this one.

AdeleDazeem

auttiegreeley said:

If she feels like her fertile clock is ticking, that is how she feels. She doesn't need to be told that she has "plenty of time" or is "not old". She can feel how ever she wants to feel and it is discouraging to try to get pregnant when you want it to happen fast. Try to be understanding.

Try to be less preachy.