December 2014 Moms

Doing the Deed (TMI alert)

I (finally!) got the clearance to DTD 12 weeks postpartum. My OB showed me where sex would be painful and...wow, it sure was. How did you all deal with this? My doc said I could use estrogen cream to get things going but I'd rather not b/c of the side effects. Did anyone else try this? Did anyone "practice" on vibrators before having your hubby go down there? I was feeling pretty confident about DTD but am now nervous. 
«1

Re: Doing the Deed (TMI alert)

  • You must have had a serious tear??? We DTD at 8 weeks PP. It was like a certain Madonna song... I almost called it off because it was painful, like losing my virginity. We didn't give up and after a little bit it was fine.
    Did you ask your dr if it will not hurt after a while longer? I might wait until then.
  • The first time we DTD wasn't great but it wasn't terribly painful. Towards the end it got painful but I think it was because we didn't use enough lube. If you're in that much pain I would wait a little longer before trying again. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    #1-BFP 1/5/14...EDD 9/19/14...MC 1/28/14
    #2 BFP 4/15/14...EDD 12/26/14

  • Loading the player...
  • My tears healed fine within a few weeks — I had some stubborn granulation tissue that wouldn't go away. So that's why I've had to delay things as much as we did. :(
  • We tried at 6w but I felt too tight. Got a bit further at 8w, but I was bleeding a bit so we stopped. I think lots of foreplay and practice is key!
    TTC since June 2011
    DH: perfect SA
    Me: 30, moderate endo, unexplained infertility
    IUI or IVF in December



    image
  • Since this is our second go around and MW didn't tear as bad as she did on the first, we have DTD twice in a week.  The first time I made sure that I kept lubing up as we changed positions.  The best for MW is either missionary or her on top currently also talk with your husband about speed, depth etc.

    After our first she had a 4th degree tear where it took her almost 2 years before sex wasn't painful.  We are hoping that it will not be as bad this time around.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • This is where I'm grateful I had a cs (third one), we were able to dtd at 2 weeks.
    Pregnancy Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Cleto2007Cleto2007 member
    edited March 2015
    We tried literally the day after my PP checkup. Doc said I was good to go. Didn't have an issue DTD ,it was after. Started bleeding, so we waited two weeks, no problem during but bled again. So now we wait, going back to doc to make sure everything is still ok.
  • Cleto2007 - Sounds like might you have granulation tissue? That's what I have and the doctor told me I'd likely bleed  if we DTD before it went away.
  • Cleto2007 - Sounds like might you have granulation tissue? That's what I have and the doctor told me I'd likely bleed  if we DTD before it went away.

    I'll have to look that up. Finally an answer to my issues! Thank u!
  • I didn't tear that bad, does that matter?
  • No it doesn't really matter. I had pretty minor tears, it's all about the healing. Some people 'overheal' and their bodies produce granulation tissue. The same thing happened to my OB. She's been treating mine with Silver Nitrate (it doesn't hurt) but mine is stubborn and keeps coming back. Most people only need one or two treatments. It's worth asking your OB to check for. 
  • This happened to me and it's caused from nursing It actually happens to a lot of people who nurse bc it thins your lining. The estrogen cream helps but can also decrease your milk supply
  • I think granulation tissue can happen whether you're nursing or not. I stopped nursing around 6 weeks because of supply issues and continue to deal with annoying granulation tissue issues at 14 weeks pp. That said, my OB nursed for two years and also had granulation tissue issues. 
  • bowlwoman said:

    You could practice using a vibrator on your DH...worked for us.


    No pain for me! Him, yeah, but lots of lube!
    /ded

    image

    I'm not hungry, I'm HUUUNNNNNGGGRRRRRYYYY! NOW!

    Dec 2014 Dec Siggy, Free For All

    Big E- 2008

    Miss M- 2011

    Baby Z- 2012

    Baby Smoosh, Due Dec 2014

  • teaismCAgalteaismCAgal member
    edited March 2015
    Edited to say - I actually felt the jokes were a bit uncool. Sex postpartum is tricky for most women and it seems uncool to make fun of someone for seeking some help on that.

    And I do have an awesome OB who is genuinely interested in helping me recover postpartum, and yes, that includes making sure sex is comfortable again. She is a woman and during an exam for granulation tissue, noticed I winced a bit when she touched an area. She said "Is this painful?" and I said "Yes!" and she said "That's typically where women have pain post-partum, try putting some estrogen cream there." 


  • I'm not sure why you'd ask that? 
  • cranch815cranch815 member
    edited March 2015
    Because you can't tell people how to act or try to shame them for adding their part. It's kind of rude.

    ETA: people are allowed to crack a joke. If you find it offensive, keep scrolling. Also, who are you to decide what is okay?
  • I'm not sure why you'd ask that? 

    Because jokes are pretty much par for the course.
  • teaismCAgalteaismCAgal member
    edited March 2015
    Um, I DO get to decide what hurts my feelings and these jokes did. It was hard for me to post about something so personal and feel it's inappropriate to imply that I was sleeping with my OB/GYN. Plus this is a post-partum message board, people should feel comfortable asking questions related to post-pregnancy sex-life without being ridiculed.



  • Good Lord truthful/blunt =/= mean. Btw explaining etiquette is also not mean.

    This is also not just a postpartum board. Many women that talk on here, or lurk around, have been here since BFP.
  • So life is not always rainbows and butterflies? Some people have a sense of humor, others don't. The internet doesn't censor for one person.
    D14 - Free For All
    image
    In loving memory of Baby HP42 and all D14 Angel Babies

    image
  • teaismCAgalteaismCAgal member
    edited March 2015
    @cranch815 - Are saying it was true that I was sleeping with my female OB/GYN? Because I'm not sure what other truth you're referring to? 

    Also this community is for mothers who gave birth in December 2014 - if you just want to lurk to tell jokes, there are probably better forums for that.
  • @cranch815 bahahaha you are a lurker?! You did not deliver in D14?! You cannot sit with us!
    D14 - Free For All
    image
    In loving memory of Baby HP42 and all D14 Angel Babies

    image
  • @teaismCAgal yes I'm totally saying that you are sleeping with your female OBGYN. <---sarcasm

    I was saying that us explaining internet etiquette is not mean, which I clearly stated in my last response. Thanks for directing me to another forum since you've been here all of 2 seconds. Good try.
  • @Baycamp do you think our 6.2K love tits show we have been here longer than her 6?
    D14 - Free For All
    image
    In loving memory of Baby HP42 and all D14 Angel Babies

    image
  • OK, typical message boarding here: Someone says, "hey this hurt my feelings." And rather than going, "Ok, cool - we'll back off" the anonymous Internet response: "CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE???" or "We were HERE FIRST, so THERE!" I don't think that's particularly civil and it's not how I was raised to talk to people — nor how I'd want my children to. Clearly we have different communication styles and this back-and-forth isn't at all productive. 


  • CandEChicagoCandEChicago member
    edited March 2015

    OK, typical message boarding here: Someone says, "hey this hurt my feelings." And rather than going, "Ok, cool - we'll back off" the anonymous Internet response: "CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE???" or "We were HERE FIRST, so THERE!" I don't think that's particularly civil and it's not how I was raised to talk to people — nor how I'd want my children to. Clearly we have different communication styles and this back-and-forth isn't at all productive. 



    Personally I don't find your response all that civil but I am not telling you that you can't or shouldn't be responding.

    Plus there is a difference between "showed me where sex would be painful..." or however you initially phrased it versus...your clarification of, "I had pain as part of the routine exam and she explained sex might be painful and gave me cream."


    Test
  • I'd personally prefer my kids to come right out and tell someone that they think they're overreacting and need to suck it up versus being passive aggressive while also playing the victim.
  • I have been posting in D14 since last year, where were you @jpagano113 ? A lot of these "trolls" are women who helped this FTM in the last year. A lot of them had their history erased due to real internet trolls.
    D14 - Free For All
    image
    In loving memory of Baby HP42 and all D14 Angel Babies

    image
  • @jpagano113 - You are obviously new to this board. Welcome! :-) But you might want to watch it on the name calling.


    Test
  • Only she's NOT new, she's been here for ages, so I really don't get why she's calling us trolls. I definitely remember her posting throughout most, if not all, of my time here.
  • Yeah I'm not new. I just don't get why the need to bash people? The joking is funny and all but sometimes it's a little overboard. It's always the same group of women also.
  • Per the terms of usage, it looks like the posts in question were considered defamatory (i.e. something that is negative and untrue about another person and entity) and have been removed.


  • It looks like the old crew got bored on their new community so came back over to liven things up. I don't know whether to be excited or appalled. Either way, it's certain to be entertaining.
  • weezy29 said:

    It looks like the old crew got bored on their new community so came back over to liven things up. I don't know whether to be excited or appalled. Either way, it's certain to be entertaining.

    Nah, none of these people are even posting on the new community (nor have they ever been really) except me. It's unlikely to be very exciting - this place is dead. :p
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"