Announcing before 12 weeks

carliedouglas

hi ladies, I'm looking for some advice!
I'm 8+ weeks pregnant and will be right on 10 the day of my 30th birthday party which all my family and friends will be attending.
I was small to begin with so seem to have 'popped' very early AND I was previously a person that tended to have a few champagnes at a party. I'm stressed and nervous about keeping the secret for my party and thinking about telling people. Thoughts?
Ps. We did have a scan at 6+ weeks and saw our little bubbas heartbeat.

MrsRousee

Buy a bottle of non alcoholic champagne or any drink and take it with you.... Obviously don't point out to anyone it's non alcoholic if you do not wish to tell anyone yet!

Everyone announces their pregnancy at different stages, there is no right or wrong time. Your body your pregnancy you decide...excitement might take over at the party and you will have to tell people!

furelise93

I'm planning on telling my parents and in-laws the weekend after my first appointment, which is two weeks away. We're not breaking the news to anyone else until I'm 12 weeks. I ended up miscarrying our first pregnancy very early on, so that's why I'm waiting. Everyone is different though! For me personally, it is so hard to keep it a secret for that long, but I'm determined to do it. Until then, hello secret baby board on Pinterest! Haha. Congratulations!!!!

devonsd315

I think that it's totally fine if you are comfortable with it... there's no right or wrong answer. We told my family last week since we were visiting them cross country, and I knew I would tell them anyways if something went wrong. We saw the heartbeat this morning (yay!) so now we are going to tell DH's parents and probably our close friends that we see every week. I actually think it would be fun to tell at the party, but again, you have to be comfortable with it.

apsparks09

I couldn't keep it to myself!!!   I had to wait a few days for my husband to get home from out of town working & after I told him, we told his family and mine that weekend!! I was only 5 weeks then. Of course everyone is different.  My Mom doesn't want us telling anymore people just in case but I am just so excited. I don't want to keep it to myself but we are going to wait until I'm 11 or 12 weeks before we announce it to everyone else.

els831

After you've seen a healthy heart beat, your risk of miscarriage is fairly steady. You are already basically at 1-2% risk and that won't change by the time you hit 12 weeks. Most of the drastic decrease in miscarriage risk happens much earlier on, and you've already passed that stage! Something to keep in mind as you decide whether to share. I personally think it'd be a really cool and memorable opportunity!

PrimRoseMama

If you feel comfortable then go for it.

Amstreagle

As a loss mom I've found the best advice is to only tell people who you would want there for you incase something were to happen.
Ultimately it's your decision but telling a bunch of people like I did with my first loss was one of the hardest statements I have ever had to retract in my life.

ipumpkin

I told my parents and his parents as soon as we found out, which was around 4 weeks - I told everyone else around Thanksgiving which was 9 weeks. I'm glad I told people when I did, I've lost a few of those people since then and can't imagine having that happen without them knowing my news.

jenybats

We have the cutest chalkboard sign made up with our dogs and I am ITCHING to tell. I am sooo nervous. One minute I am about to post it and the next I am thinking.. "ok, relax, just 1.5 more weeks". I have an u/s scheduled the day I turn 12w. I keep telling myself it's not much longer to wait and I'd rather post with 100% confidence.

Having said that, one of my bests "went public" at 9 weeks! You can whenever YOU feel comfortable. It's YOUR choice and don't let anybody else influence you  A couple people made comments to her about how soon she spilled the beans, but I personally think they had no business making an issue out of it!  

Tomkat8403

There's no hard and fast rule about telling. If you are comfortable telling people you love, then do it. Two weeks isn't going to make a huge difference. I went public with both of my others very early. But I would have had no qualms about telling people we miscarried either. I don't really get why talking about miscarriage is so taboo.

So to each her own...but I don't think 10 weeks is all that early. Good luck!

clarks415

Tell when you want, there is no perfectly "safe" time.

 I told at 10 weeks with our first pregnancy DS #1. 

 With my second pregnancy we waited 11 weeks and had a loss at 13 weeks. 

 With my third pregnancy DS #2 we didn't tell until 14 weeks. 

 Bottom line, no one can predict the future. 

 Celebrate when you are ready with your family!

kmdendy

I told my parents, my husbands parents, and our brothers the first day we found out.  I don't see why you would keep it a secret from them.  I am waiting to tell friends at 12 weeks.  It's better to be safe.  I took our announcement picture last night! Can't wait to share it!! 

KateLouise

austenlover said:

kmdendy said:

I told my parents, my husbands parents, and our brothers the first day we found out.  I don't see why you would keep it a secret from them.  I am waiting to tell friends at 12 weeks.  It's better to be safe.  I took our announcement picture last night! Can't wait to share it!! 

1) Because they may not be as close as you are to your brothers.

2) Because they wouldn't want to share the news of a loss with certain people.

3) Because (if it's a case similar to mine), not everyone is supportive during a loss and should the worst happen, she would rather go though that without their "help."

I can come up with a lot of reasons why, but those are the top three.

Also some people are big mouths. We've learnt that MIL can't keep her mouth shut, no matter how much we ask her to, so she only finds out we're pregnant when we're happy for everyone to know. 

She gets all hurt but that's the consequence for having no discretion.

KateLouise

Tomkat8403 said:

There's no hard and fast rule about telling. If you are comfortable telling people you love, then do it. Two weeks isn't going to make a huge difference. I went public with both of my others very early. But I would have had no qualms about telling people we miscarried either. I don't really get why talking about miscarriage is so taboo.

So to each her own...but I don't think 10 weeks is all that early. Good luck!

I don't think it's about miscarriage being taboo. But in my experience it was harder to say to my parents (who I'm super close to and of course knew I was pregnant) that the pregnancy was over than it was to say to colleagues, "Oh I was away because I miscarried."

I'm sure everyone is different, but it was easier to talk about it in past tense terms, than it was when Dad asked if the girls knew I was pregnant (just after I'd had the scan and before I'd had a chance to tell him it was over) and I had to tell Mum and Dad it was over.

kmdendy

Yeah that make sense but if you want to tell them tell them.

angelargrock

Makes sense to me! Seems like a great time to tell everyone at once i announced 10 weeks +4 after my second US !

ashleylauriee

We announced ours a few days after finding out. My fiancé was too excited and spilled the beans to everyone via Facebook. When it comes down to it, it's your choice! I think it would be amazing to tell at my birthday party! That's so exciting!

srcr2011

After 2 losses back to back, I waited til 20 weeks.

malzabop

I told just about everyone when I got a positive test result at 4 weeks. Too good of news to keep in.

dchiapella

Very close family I told after my first ultrasound and blood tests at about 5 weeks, everyone else I'm not telling until I hear the heartbeat which should be my next appointment. I felt like that was a good compromise for us since I just wanted to tel everyone right away but am so scared about something happening, that's why I personally will be telling at about 8 weeks, hopefully. 

happylife7

We will be announcing after we hear the heartbeat which is in 3 weeks. We told family and close friends right earlier..(people we would want to be there for us if we were to have a MC)