19 month old sleep time attachment

GracefulStar

Hi all, I'm hoping to get any advice as I'm going out of my mind. Two months ago my toddler started waking up at night wanting someone to sit in his room and hold his hand to sleep. It was the only way to go back to bed. I did some research and saw at about 18 months they go through an attachment phase where they don't want to be away. Two months later he doesn't wake up in the middle of the night but he won't sleep unless someone is in his room, near his crib. It's been this way for about a month and a half. He used to be able to be placed in his crib, I would leave the room and he would sleep. I read different things online for advice and tried to slowly back away from the crib each night, he checks on me and immediately stands. If I leave the room he will stand up, and he will scream and eventually cry, only stopping when someone goes near his crib. He doesn't speak yet and we reassure him we are in the next room. I now have a two week old that needs to be fed around that time, my toddlers bed time is 9 and he's up between 6 and 7. But lately he won't sleep until 10 or later playing this game of standing up. He's lasted over two hours with the screaming and standing and we live in an apartment so I worry for neighbors also. My husband and I take turns checking on him periodically and eventually he will lay down and sleep. Twice he's gotten so worked up he threw up. Any advice would be appreciated! Thank you! Ps, he only takes one nap if that as he hates napping and it only lasts for an hour early in the day between 11 and 2.

frugalphillybride

When you say you slowly backed away from the crib, what exactly did you do?  Not sure if this is different from what you did, but I had good success with the Sleep lady Shuffle.  The first 3 nights sit in a chair right next to the crib.  Minimize interactions with your son.  You can occasionally say "shhh" or something like that, but for the most part I don't look at my son or talk to him.  Sit there until he falls asleep.   Nights 4-6 move your chair halfway to the door.  Again sit there until he falls asleep.  Nights 7-9 sit in a chair at the doorway but still inside the room.  Again sit there until he falls asleep.  Nights 10-12 sit in a chair in the hallway outside his room but still visible to him.  Again sit there until he falls asleep.  Hopefully night 13 you can put him to bed and walk away.

Good luck.  I know how frustrating this can be!

SharonB222

Try putting him to bed earlier.  Toddlers need on average 13.5 hours of sleep (all day).  They can get overtired at which point adrenaline (and insecurity) kicks in. When my kids started having difficulties at bedtime, my DH would want to keep them up later, but all the books say it usually indicates the opposite, so I'd put them to bed earlier and it worked for us.  As I mentioned in a recent post, my DH would do the hand holding for toddler DD to sleep; with 2 kids, we began to co-sleep after the 1st wake up.  Once DD was in her toddler bed she would join us so no sleep lost on our part, now at 3.5 yrs she sleeps most nights by herself.  Good luck!