Advice on choosing

SarahLM0806

I am not sure if this is the right place to leave this but I have to talk. I went in for my 10 week appointment yesterday and the ultrasound showed a perfect little 10 week baby with no heartbeat. They said because the size and everything was perfect for the date that it must have happened within the last day or so. Now it is my choice to wait for natural miscarriage or opt for a D&C which may impact future fertility. It took me over a year to get pregnant (previous loss with ectopic left me with one tube). Any advice from those who have been in my shoes is appreciated.

xxkimmy8xx

First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss. I just had a D&C on Thursday at 9w1d (baby stopped growing 3 weeks earlier) with no sign of my body ccatching on that we had lost the baby. Why will this impact future fertility? The very small risk of scaring from the procedure? My doctor said the chances are sooo small with today's modern medicine. I've actually heard that the surgery has improved fertility.

I'm personally very happy I chose the D&C. I really wanted to start the emotional recovery, and it was really hard BC my body still thought I was pregnant. The surgery was super easy and recovery so far has been pretty quick. I'm still having a tiny bit of spotting, and I should be able to start working out again soon.

Phew long post, sorry about that. Feel free to PM if you have any other questions.

So so sorry again for your loss. Praying for you.

Bel831

I can't tell you what I recommend, the choice is yours alone. However-as someone that was in the same boat, this is what happened to me. I had decided to wait for a natural miscarriage. I asked my doctor how long I could wait (we found baby had died at 6w1d at my first appt at 8w) Dr said no longer than 3 weeks. So I waited out the 3 weeks, and my body still didn't figure it out on its own. So I called and made appointment for d&c. I have to say it was not that bad for recovery, and in hindsight, I am so glad I didn't go through a painful miscarriage and lots of bleeding. (As my sister, and a friend had gone through.) I only had spotting for about 2.5 days after surgery. And honestly NO pain whatsoever. I got my first period less than 2 weeks later which was about 3 weeks long-but it was basically light/spotting the whole time. We were told to wait for 2 full cycles before trying again. So we're back on the bandwagon. I can't say anything about it impacting future fertility. It took us 8 months to get pregnant the first time, and I'm only on my 2nd month of trying this round. Good luck in whatever you decide!

rae80407

I'm so sorry for your loss. I personally have not had a d&c done but my mother lost a baby at 9 weeks had it done and 2 months later when going in to see about having her tubes tied to not face another loss and was informed they could not as she had just conceived my now 10 year old brother. I think to each his own but it did not seem to impact her fertility. She had trouble conceiving before that which is why there is a 13 year difference between me and my brother but she conceived very quickly after that loss. Your in my thoughts.

4N6s

I'm sorry for your loss. The position that you're in right now is the hardest. The wait is terrible and the devastating loss...
For me, my doctor made me wait two weeks after finding out I had missed miscarried. He wouldn't do a D&C even though I desperately wanted it all to be over.
I'm very thankful that I waited... I ended up miscarrying less than a week after I found out.
With that said, my miscarriage was completely traumatizing.. And terrible. I ended up in the ER after passing out due to excessive blood loss.
With all that... I'm still glad I miscarried naturally.

There is no right decision. There is no good choice.
Best of luck.

IslandDreamin

I am so sorry for your loss. I had D&C with my ectopic and I have been told that the risk of a D&C impacting your future fertility is very small. However, it's a very personal decision and there is no right choice. There is only a choice that is right for you. I hope everything goes as smoothly as it can possibly go with whatever you decide.

KimC2010

I had my D&C on January 20 after finding out the day before that baby had stopped growing and the sac was collapsing. I opted for a D&C to reduce the risk for infection and also because I wanted to begin the healing process. I was back at work the next day. I feel like it would have been a more drawn out ordeal if I had waited. It is a personal choice, and I do not regret mine.