Should We TTC?

Knottie45547263

Tell me what you think. 

DH is 34 and I am 29. I'll be turning 30 this year. We were thinking about waiting to TTC - about 2-3 years.The main reason was so that we'd have paid off half of my student loan. We were also planning to save 2 years for a downpayment on a house. We make pretty good money combined. 

Well, we had a pregnancy scare a while back and now I have babies on the brain and don't want to wait. I was really upset about not being pregnant. DH is half interested half not. 

I am not on short term disability (I know, I know) therefore I'd be without pay from my job for 12 weeks (I'm paid once a month), but we'd be able to save up enough money within nine months to help pay for things. I really have no patience. Am I being silly? I don't want to be an older mom even though that was the original plan. DH and I have been together five years and married for less than a year. 

I did a rough estimate - we would still be able to pay off my student loan within the time frame (5 years) even if we have a baby. We'd also have extra money for emergencies. We do not have a house. We do live in a town home with two bedrooms. We were going to start saving this year, but we could also save up after the baby comes, next year? 

Am I just letting my hormones get to me? 

bmo88

Honestly, we cannot definitively tell you if it is a good idea to have a baby or not right now. It's a decision you and your DH need to make, TOGETHER.

Given you said he is half interested, half not...it sounds like he may not be quite ready yet. I would suggest sitting down and explaining what you have told us. Show him the financial plan and what your thoughts are. Then, decide when is the best time to start TTC.

All things considered, my personal opinion is: 

I would suggest waiting 1-2 years. Getting closer to your financial goals could bring about an immense amount relief/peace going into TTC. Having a child can cost a lot in terms of medical expenses and child care. I would prefer to eliminate as many debts as possible. But that is just my personal opinion.

While we have already purchased a home, we are in the process of paying off our student loans. If we wait 2-3 years, we can pay off all our loans and have about $20,000 in savings when we start TTC. I have some crazy on again off again baby fever right now, but I am trying hard to stay focused on the plan. DH said he is fine starting TTC next year if I want (not helping!), but I have told him I really want to stick to our plan. Fortunately, he is fine with that. Personally, I want to have as few financial obligations as possible when we have a child. Given our timeline, I would be about 30-31 when we start to TTC.

whenwillieversleep

If that's what you both want, then do it. I regret waiting to have kids until everything in my life was perfectly planned out. This is for two reasons: there is always going to be something you need to pay off or something you need to do or something other factor to consider so no time is ever going to be the "right time". And second of all, I wish I would have gotten it out of the way while I was younger and before I have the health issues that I have now at 32. Now I don't know when or if I'll have a second child because of it. So I say go for it, as long as hubby is on board.

lifeonthehill

Like others have said. If H isn't 100% on board then there is no TTC.

As for the rest. Sit down and talk to him about what he wants before you TTC and be open about what you want. My H and I started a long list of things we wanted to accomplish before kids. It has changed in that last two years and we found ways to compromise on our wants. For instance H wanted 2 years living expenses saved, I wanted 6 months, we compromised with 1 year.

After you make that list work it out financially and see what the timeline would look like. Maybe adjust a few wants if the timeline seems too long. Our timeline has gone from TTC in 4 years, to 1 year, to 2 years. Life gets in the way and things don't always go according to plan. Remember a lot of divorced people say finances played the biggest role in the end of the relationship. Don't put anymore stress on yourself than you have to.

Good luck!

Knottie45547263

We're not actively trying. I'm just wondering if we should wait or not. He's half ready and half not - for the same reasons I am. We're just wondering of the oops moment is playing with out emotions since we were both pretty sad it was negative. He's more if they happen they happen, lol. 

HeavenBlessedMom

Yes..wait

blush64

I think that when you are ready you won't be here asking what we think. Wait for now.

UntaggableKatie

Wait..  Yh is not fully on board... plus it's not like its a pair of shoes you save up for then return if you don't like them...

lifeisajourney

I understand your hesitation. There's always a little hesitation about making any major step. I think that you should follow your heart, but take your brain with you. Of course dont TTC until hubby is ready but also keep in mind that being ready doesnt mean that everything has to be perfect. 

Knottie45547263

I think most misunderstood. We might be pregnant right now. I am waiting to take a test. We wanted to wait, but not with the anticipation of perhaps being pregnant I don't think I want to wait and want to try if we turn out not to be pregnant. If we're not pregnant now we're going to actively try beginning in September. DH is onboard as much as I am. We were worried about changing up our timeline. I'm not sure where you read that he wasn't. I did say he was half interested and not and so am I. We were confused by our change in feelings that's why the hesitation. He's wanted children since we first got together and can't wait to have a baby. He's was just worried about changing up our timeline, but he's 100% on board since we had a discussion about our feelings.