Question

mrs&mrsk

What do you feel is the biggest change after your first pregnancy?

i feel like I've been focusing on the pregnancy and the delivery so much that i havent thought about this much lately.  

2brides

No "me" time/lack of discretionary time. What did I used to do after work when I didn't have someone who needed to be fed, played with, and put to bed??? Did I go out? Lounge on the couch? I can't remember!

redrockmama

Honestly, everything. I wouldn't have believed it if anyone tried to tell me how much would change, but everything changes in a way that there is no way you could comprehend before it happens. 

If you mean physically, I would say not much after the initial recovery. Except that I always thought it was ridiculous that people confused gas bubbles with fetal movement. Since M was born I can see how that happens. There have been times that I would swear there was still a baby moving around in there. 

2MamazInSeattle

I think for me, the change in mindset that my only/#1 job initially especially was to care for my baby. This meant everything else comes second - EVERYTHING.

However, those first few months babies are very portable - I would still meet friends for coffee, lunch and walks, because it was easy. Now at 5 months she is so much more squirmy and of course once we reach crawl/walk mobility, it'll be worse - instead of eating out now I just invite people over. It's so much easier with her toys/vessels/goods here. But that also means I don't get out much right now!

JGY

Yup, everything.

Since I've always been the primary caretaker, what changed the most for me was the complete lack of ANY personal time.  Running a quick errand became a huge outing that needed a plan, and some things were just impossible for me to be able to do (clothes shopping, for example).

Also, my life revolves around daycare drop-off and pick-up.  There is no "Hey I'll be a little late tonight" for me. 

In my case, I also had to change jobs.  I had naively thought that I would be able to continue on at my last job (which required a lot of flexibility in time, and quite a bit of travel).  NO WAY.  There was literally NO WAY I could have kept that job.

All of the above reads a lot like "Poor me" but it's not really.  Sure, I might like the occasional 2 hour stretch to go get my haircut or window shop, but in reality I cherish the time spent with my kiddo far more than any of the freedoms that I took for granted before.

Jazibel

I agree with all that's been said above. My relationships with people have also changed. I've really begun to gravitate toward people who also have kids. Understanding the crazy hours, lack of sleep, funny stories and a willingness to meet for dinner at 5pm instead of 8pm is a huge plus.  Not that I don't have single/child-free friends still but I see them only occasionally. 

Also how much I would just love everything in my life and how its changed. I thought I'd sulk more about giving up travel, or buying new clothes - but really it doesn't mean what it used too. I know the time of having young kids is short. There's plenty of time when I'll have kids but they'll be more independent and although part of me can't wait - part of me is so grateful to enjoy the sweet, exhausting, cuddly, exasperating moments I have now.

KH826

All the important stuff has already been said, so I will add a few silly things...

* If you didn't already cry over Tide and car insurance commercials, you will now!

* You will do more laundry in 1 day than you used to do in 1 week.

* Small personal accomplishments (like showering, fixing your hair, sending ONE email) will feel like major milestones in the early days. Celebrate those milestones. And cut yourself slack if you put the crackers in the refrigerator and the milk in the cabinet.

* Oh, and be prepared to love another human in a way you never though possible. Take your expectations for how much you will love your baby and multiply that by a thousand, then you will be close to how it feels. BUT if you don't feel like that the second they put baby on your chest, do NOT beat yourself up of feel badly, mama. Everyone is different. Just take every moment as it comes!

You will do a great job - can't wait to meet your LO sooooo soon!

ball.and.chain

redrockmama said:

Except that I always thought it was ridiculous that people confused gas bubbles with fetal movement. Since M was born I can see how that happens. There have been times that I would swear there was still a baby moving around in there. 

Yes, me too!  I was surprised by this.