SAHM's advice please!!!

Aarg

HOW IN GODS NAME DO YOU NOT GO CRAZY?!?

I am 25yo, this is my first child. I have had a job since I've been 16, and have had a full time job since I was 18 (and went to a 4 year college).
I have always worked and when my husband and I got married I was the bread maker.
At 32 weeks pregnant I was put on bed rest. In between 32 weeks and delivery, my husband took a job that would ultimately allowed me to become a SAHM.

Don't get me wrong! I LOVE being at home with my daughter and I know with all of her Dr appts and therapy appts, there is no way id be able to go back to work full time, or even part time right now. But there have just been too many life changes all at one time!
I am also struggling with PPD so that doesn't help.

Any advice on this life change would be greatly appreciated!!! I feel like I've tried everything!

TIA

golfingdarwinfish

You may want to visit a stay at home mom board.

Aarg

golfingdarwinfish said:

You may want to visit a stay at home mom board.

Didn't even know TB had that!!

And this is why you're amazing!

Should I delete this one?

themrs83

See if you can find a local moms group that gets together. That helps me a lot.

Emerald27

Don't delete this post!

I'm a SAHM. It's hard when baby is little, but when they get bigger and mobile, you'll be outside, taking classes (mommy and me yoga, swim inve, etc.) and attending play dates, doing so many things that dinner time will roll around and you'll wonder where your day went. There's also a lot of work that goes into keeping up a house (especially one in which children reside). When LO gets older, you may wonder how working moms manage to stay sane and keep the house clean and everyone fed!

SAH is not for everyone, but it can be a lot of fun and a lot of work. Check out the library for storytime groups, LLL and other breastfeeding supoort groups, local meet ups and play dates and classes. Look for a "moms run this town" near you to exercise with other moms.

vrj0522

Being a SAHM is not easy! I didn't have DS until I was 32 and had built a successful career by then. And then I became a SAHM. And then I realized it's the hardest job I've ever had. But honestly, for me, it's worth it. I get to be here for every important moment. DS (up until DD was born) became my partner. We go everywhere together. We do everything together. It's fun and it's a lot of work. It definitely took some time (maybe a year?) to get used to my "new job" and it hasn't necessarily gotten any easier, but I enjoy it a lot more now and I'm used to my day.

I second Emerald's recommendations. Right now baby is pretty young but in a few months when she can play and socialize, I recommend finding local things to do and a local mom's group to attend playdates. Having adults around makes the biggest difference and then your LO gets to play too. Make sure that you are addressing your PPD and then just be patient with yourself. It takes getting used to but if you are sure that being at home is what you want to do, you'll find ways to enjoy it and eventually it will become your new normal. 

BreandMikewedding

I agree with what @emerald27 & @vrj0522‌ said. You could even find some moms that have babies close to lo's age that you could hang out with. The babies can lay on the floor and play while you talk or you can all go out to lunch. I know there are meet up groups and mom groups in a lot of areas.

Raesofsunshine1

Find a hobby like crochet or sewing, And make things for LO. I also challenge myself to make more homemade recipes. DH takes soup everyday for lunch so I make soup from scratch every week. I also make other snacks and things for him to take.

I did have a lot of free time with just one especially when she was a baby and not making messes. Now, most days I feel like I can hardly keep up with everything. But I still get out of the house when I need to keep from going stir crazy and i sometimes take a day when I dont care if the laundry gets done or not, I do what I want to do or spend more quality time with my girls. It will take some adjusting but give it time and you will wonder how you ever worked and did SAH stuff too.

Aarg

Thanks ladies!!
I appreciate all the advice
HUGE life changes for me all at one time. Extremely overwhelming! Lol

It's good to know I'm not crazy though!

Maggie6424

You're not crazy! Adding a baby and becoming a SAHM are huge changes. During my mat leave, I started to go a little nuts so I tried to find ways to get out of the house. Mother/baby yoga was great. I would also take him and the stroller and just go walk indoors at the mall or target. Definitely make sure you're taking time to address your PPD. I've heard lots of SAHM's say how hard it is, and I don't doubt it for a second!

BabyBsOven

Your not crazy. Being a SAHM is the hardest thing I've done, especially emotionally. BIGGEST piece of advice is to find other moms with babies around the same age, either 1 year up or 1 year down or both! I was bored, depressed, confused, etc when I had DD but I found a friend (DH's coworkers SAH wife) with a daughter 1.5 years older and a son 6 mo older than DD. She gave me advice and experience when I needed it, she knew all the things to do around town like parks and museums, and she babysat for me when I needed a break or a pedicure .  :-* I met her at a children's museum my DD was too young for just to hang out and be around other adults with kids so DD could cry or fuss and I wasn't embarrassed but still got out in public. It made a huge difference in my attitude. Not only did I have support for my depression but I had validation and solutions for my problems from a mom with experience who knew what I was going through. 

We moved to another state right before I had the twins and I miss her like crazy. I'm currently going through it all over again (the loneliness, depression, cabin fever, etc.) so I am trying to find some friends. DH has hooked me up with another of his coworkers SAH wife and I am meeting a moms group for DD to make crafts just so we can get out of the house. 

Like everyone said, LO will get older and suddenly you'll wonder where the day went. You can do it!

Jennyc00

I feel the same way at times. It's tough and very isolating. My DH doesn't get home until 7-8pm frequently and then keeps working so I only get like 2 hrs with him while putting lo to bed and nursing before I pass out. If you are interested in fitness my area has a fitness stroller group that meets daily at parks. It's called fit4mom. Maybe they have something similar close to you. I'm trying out my first class Saturday and really looking forward to it! Exercise used to be a huge energy release for me and really helped depression and anxiety from creeping up. It might really help you now. We've had cold weather and I haven't seen much of the sun in weeks. Two days ago we had a pretty day and I went on a long walk with the stroller and felt relieve and better when I got home. Let's all hang in there! I'm going to try to go to a local moms play date type event soon. It's just tough for me to make the first move and go!!

Kelsbells6

I feel the same way. I became a SAHM and am going crazy. I don't think it's for me but I know once he is a bit bigger it will be fabulous. It's tough because the weather is cold and I can't take him for walks. For me - walking to starbucks gave me sanity. I got my drink and usually saw someone along the way. I know it will get better. It's also tough not having an income when you're used to it. I spend my time going to lunch with my old co-workers once a week, we walk around target almost daily and my husband and I try to go to dinner acouple times a week with baby. It makes me feel like I'm out! Sounds silly but it helps with this whole transistion.