Disappointed and Alone

jerseymack23

I only found the 3T board a month ago, but since then, I have relied on the experience and support of the 3T moderators and contributors to help me survive the ups, downs, and everything in between that comes with IF.

I do not know what happened to cause the mass exodus, but I feel so sad that this online place of comfort, inclusion, and support has become such a negative space. IF is incredibly lonely, and this community was the only place I didn’t feel so alone. I wish you would work harder to fix what went wrong and maybe help me (and probably others) understand what is happening (and why it’s happening).

I also have heard some disturbing rumors- such as staff posing as newbies to engage 3T users. I find this so hurtful, inappropriate, and cruel, and I really hope it’s not true.

 

I am begging The Bump to please bring back the people who made this space what it was. I need them. I am sure I am not alone. Please give people suffering and struggling IF the community and support we need.

emmuffy

You are certainly welcome to join everyone over at the other place. You should be able to find a link in one of the various posts. Feel free to PM me if you have trouble.

cateyes543

PLease don't feel alone. This community is a group of people not a place. These same people are on still just can be found here:

jerseymack23

Well, I did join at the other place, and I posted something about testing too early on my 2WW and getting a faint line. Well, some people were flat out mean, and I felt so embarassed and ashamed. I only posted asking if I tested too soon looking for support. I have been posting on here for a month and a half. I deleted the post and apologized repeatedly when people were posting how I shouldn't have done that, and this only made them comment more. Saying deleting it is not making me accountable. I wanted to delete the whole thread (which is what I was trying to do). People reported me, commented negatively about me, etc. I can never go back there. I am shocked at how mean people were- I hope it was clear I didn't have bad intentions through my multiple apologies and attempt to remove the thread. I am very supportive and wish everyone luck. Guess I have to look for a new online community, since I know no one else who is struggling with IF and need to bond, support, etc.

jerseymack23

Also, if anyone reads this from the new place, I think it's great what you're trying to do. I personally just feel very uncomfortable now. I still wish all of you the best.

jerseymack23

@TRUTHTELLER1 I don't think so. I think if you saw the thread you would see that once 1 person told me I made a mistake, I tried to apologize and remove it immediately. Unfortunately, the thread continued with dozens of posters.

Also, anyone who struggles with infertility knows what a lonely and emotional space you're in. So no, I do not think I overreacted by apologizing profusely, wishing everyone luck, and leaving the board.

jerseymack23

@alaskadee23... You know what, I think I misunderstood the direction the thread took. I haven't been back since last night, but I interpreted it as a few people talking about reporting me and discussing what to do about me. From what you're saying t sounds like it was a "newbie" thing in general. I think I was just too sensitive, because I did feel one person in particular was a little rude (I actually stand by that one, because there are more understanding ways to handle situations like that). I shouldn't have allowed that to affect my view. The whole reason I went to those boards is because, after a month and a half here, I finally felt like I had a community of people who understood where I was coming from. Once everything fell apart here, I felt like I lost something I was needing for the past couple years.

Like I said I wish everyone there and here nothing but the best. I probably was misinterpreting it.

drhooch

@jerseymack23‌ - I think a lot of the IF ladies are a little touchy right now because of what went down here, but I also think you may have overreacted a bit. I really hope you reconsider coming back over because this place is pretty lonely right now and you deserve better. If you do, I'd recommend starting with an intro post reminding everyone who you are and how long you've been around. I'm sure you understand that when you're dealing with IF and someone who seems like a newbie posts a BFP it could seem like it's being rubbed in your face (I know that's not how you meant it, though!). Just a misunderstanding. Hope to see you on the other side!