New Sleep Issues

Rebis58

Hey ladies - hoping to get a little advice on some sleep issues we're having. DD will be 12 months on January 30

DD is fighting her naps like crazy. The last two days she's had one nap each day for under an hour, after multiple attempts to put her down and her fighting it. Most of the time she'll sit or stand in her crib, playing, yelling, fussing, or crying for over an hour until finally I give up and bring her out. Both times that she actually slept it was after over an hour of her fighting it.

At nap time I lay her down and leave the room. If she's crying I do every 10 minute checks (reassurance, pat back, but no picking up) and then leave again. If she's not crying I leave her alone (will occasionally go in every 20 min or so to lay her back down if she's standing up). This has always worked before but she doesn't seem to be responding to it anymore.

Bedtime is still good - she's asleep for the night within 10 minutes. She used to also nap twice a day for 30 min - 2 hours.

Last week I returned to work and she started daycare (small in home daycare with one other baby - she seems to love it and has been napping fine there). I'm wondering if she's fighting her naps because she is feeling insecure about being apart from me more than usual? Before my return to work we had literally been apart for maybe 3-4 hours. Maybe. Probably more like 2-3. And she was always with H or MIL for those separations. But if this was the case, wouldn't she be fighting night time sleep too? For my day shifts (I'm a nurse) I had to leave before she woke up, so the thought that is keeping me up at night and breaking my heart is, what if she's afraid to fall asleep because she doesn't know if I'll be there when she wakes up? It makes me tear up even typing that.

Hoping someone has a suggestion for me to try, or even just commiseration that their LO went through something similar but eventually adjusted to the separation and went back to normal naps. So far I've been trying to be as consistent as possible with her nap routine, but also give lots of attention and reassurance when I'm home with her on my off days.

Thanks for reading my novel, if you got through it!

amt0312

Those 12 hour shifts are killer for me too. I don't even get to see DD on those days because I leave before she wakes and come home after she's in bed. It makes me cry almost every time. 

Anyways, I think @mamatoosh might be right in that she's starting to drop a nap? Sometimes I think DD is ready for this as she can now easily go 4-5 hours in between naps and she's really elongated her morning nap, but I am still trying to hold on to 2 naps a day until after the newborn is here and we get settled in with him and have a semi-decent schedule. She can sometimes fight a nap for well over an hour if she's not tired enough, so I just nix the nap and put her to bed early. 

Sorry I don't have any good suggestions :-( 

Rebis58

Thanks @mamatoosh - I tell myself every day that my guilt isn't rational and that DD is happy and healthy and I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Easier said than done but I'm getting there! Each day of daycare/work gets easier and we're lucky that our daycare provider is a loving adult in DD's life (she's a very sweet lady, and the kids call her Ouma - her style is very family-oriented which I love)

Yea the 12 hour shifts suck. Hugs to you, @amt0312 I know just how you feel. H switches the order of DD's bedtime routine on those days so at least I am lucky enough to still breastfeed her before bed and get a little snuggle in. It's better than nothing but not enough! After my first shift when I finally got home and got to sit down and hold her I immediately burst into tears and started sobbing. Poor DD, I just couldn't help it. I pulled myself together and had some happy moments with her before putting her down, but that night when we went to bed I started sobbing all over again to H. I honestly never thought it would be this hard! I always thought I'd be excited to go back to work. I hope I get to a place where I look forward to working again.

Thanks for the commiseration and advice - My daycare provider is going to work with her on her naps, as she doesn't like to drop the second nap until closer to two if possible. She didn't take a morning nap today at daycare but she did sleep 3 hours this afternoon! So I don't think she's ready to drop a nap, I think she's just going through something. Hope it passes soon!

Thanks again for the support ladies.