Ugh, DH and I are really struggling with
making a decision about whether to use donor eggs or do embryo donation/adoption.
We go back and forth every day and feel like we're getting more and more
confused and less sure about anything. In order to try to help us out, I created a pro/con list for both options. If
you ladies don't mind, I could really use objective opinions. Anything that I
am missing? What would be the most important considerations for you?
Pros of using Donor Egg:
Cons of using Donor Egg:
Pros of using Donor Embryo:
Cons of using Donor Embryo:
TTC since April 2012
BFP #1, 10/03/2012 - EDD 6/15/2013 - MMC 11/15/2012 - D&C 01/04/2013
BFP #2, 04/06/2013 - EDD 12/17/2013 - MC 04/19/2013
6/12/2013 Diagnosed with Balanced Translocation (12 & 16)
IVF #1 with PGS: 10/2013: Canceled 9/27/2013 for issues with genetic lab
IVF #1.5 with PGS: 11/16/2013: Canceled. 11 eggs retrieved, 9 mature & 9 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
IVF #2: 1/22/14: Canceled. 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 7 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
IVF #3 with PGS: 5/10/2014: Switched to FET in July. 10 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized, 2 healthy embryos!
FET #1: 7/31/2014: Transferred 2 nearly perfect (6AA, 6BA) healthy embryos- BFFN
Laproscopy: 10/2014: Healthy uterus
IVF #4: 12/8/2014: Canceled. 17 eggs retrieved, 15 mature, 10 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
Everyone welcome on my posts
Re: XP: Really Struggling
TTC #1 since May 2010
OE IVF #1 9/2/13 Cancelled- poor response
DE IVF #1 3/12/14- BFP 3/17/14- ectopic, right tube removed 4/11/14 @ 7 weeks
DE FET #1 7/3/14-Transferred 2 5AA 6 day embryos Beta 7/13/14 BFN
DE FET #2 9/5/14-Transferred 2 4BB 5 day embryos Beta 9/15/14 BFN
DE FET #3 in December- Cancelled, didn't respond to meds
DE FET #3 (2nd try) 2/13/15- Transferred 1 4BB and 1 4BA 5 day embryos Beta 2/23/15 BFN again (CP)
DE FET #4 - last 2 frosties....5/22/15- Transferred 1 4BA embryo...only one frostie thawed properly. Beta scheduled for 6/1- BFN (beta 2, 2.81, 6, 23, 49.4) 6/15/15 Discovered ectopic in left tube. Methotrexate given. Moving on to a new donor. Hoping to transfer by the end of the year.
Cant find a donor that is healthy and available. Looking at being happy with just the two of us.
TTC since April 2012
BFP #1, 10/03/2012 - EDD 6/15/2013 - MMC 11/15/2012 - D&C 01/04/2013
BFP #2, 04/06/2013 - EDD 12/17/2013 - MC 04/19/2013
6/12/2013 Diagnosed with Balanced Translocation (12 & 16)
IVF #1 with PGS: 10/2013: Canceled 9/27/2013 for issues with genetic lab
IVF #1.5 with PGS: 11/16/2013: Canceled. 11 eggs retrieved, 9 mature & 9 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
IVF #2: 1/22/14: Canceled. 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 7 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
IVF #3 with PGS: 5/10/2014: Switched to FET in July. 10 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized, 2 healthy embryos!
FET #1: 7/31/2014: Transferred 2 nearly perfect (6AA, 6BA) healthy embryos- BFFN
Laproscopy: 10/2014: Healthy uterus
IVF #4: 12/8/2014: Canceled. 17 eggs retrieved, 15 mature, 10 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
Everyone welcome on my posts
Finding donor embryos can be hard. Long wait lists at some places. A girl on another board had a consult with FIRM and they basically have very few Caucasian embryos and the lots were small. Can be a while to find a profile you "click" with.
Good luck. It's hard to know what to do....
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
- There is a national sibling registry where parents of donor conceived children can register. It's not necessarily a given, but you could possibly be able to meet diblings donor siblings).
- We got 4 embryos out of our fresh cycle. The first miscarried unrelated to the cycle in the second tri. The next two failed. Our lowest graded embryo is my take-home baby. So the lesser graded embryos aren't necessarily duds.
- It is hard not knowing all the medical info, but you have the big stuff. Also I just simply asked if we could anonymously write to our egg donor, and we've exchanged several letters via our clinic and she's answered any additional questions for us.
- One thing to think about is whether you're cool w DH being a bio parent while you aren't genetically the mom (you are the bio mom imho). For us, its kind of nice that our baby is no more mine than my wife's...kind of an equalizer.
For me, I liked getting to choose my donors. Still, with a proven donor we got 4 embryos and one baby.
It is indeed a lot to think about and doing the pros and cons list is super helpful. In the end, just trust your gut feeling on which path to take as both have good and bad in them.
Best of luck!
Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
June'12 - First RE Visit
Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect.
Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle
DOR and AMA
2/12-5/12: 4 IUI cycles = all BFN;
7/12: DE IVF # 1 (with ICSI)- 20R, 16M, 14F, 5DT of 2 blasts; 6 frosties = BFN;
Lupus anticoagulant initially high, then found to be normal on hematology consult;
Follow up testing in September all clear;
Started synthroid for "high normal" TSH;
FET # 1- late October 2012- BFP on FRER; beta # 1- 21(low), beta # 2- 48 (still low), beta # 3- 132, beta # 4- 1,293; beta # 5- 5,606; last beta- over 100,000. First u/s 11/21- heard heartbeat
12/12- Officially an OB patient!
Level 2 ultrasound at 20 weeks shows vasa previa and VCI
Referral to MFM and mandatory c section for delivery
Beautiful baby girl born at 34 weeks
Finally home after 15 day NICU stay!
Trying for sibling: FET # 2- May 2014; beta 5/31, BFN
FET #3, early July 2014; beta 7/14, BFN
DE IVF # 2- August 2014; 14R, 13M, 11F, 5dt of 2 blasts (3 AA), 5 frosties = BFN
FET #4- December 2014, yet another BFN
Dr. KK work up shows borderline uterine blood flow, elevated NK cells, and MTHFR mutation (homozygous for c677t)
Added baby aspirin, prednisone, supplements, Metanx, and intralipids
Switched to large clinic for final attempt; had endometrial receptivity testing in January; FET March 2015 = yet another BFN
Likely OAD- NBC
My heart is as open as the sky.
Read about it on the blog
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Well I am kinda in the same struggle right now as well, but, we have done one cycle using frozen donor eggs, one fresh donor egg cycle and one FET of the 2 left from the fresh cycle. So there really is no easy answer or choice.
Also there are some clinics that do not require the home study aspect, so if that part holds you back you may want to look more into that as an option, but could also be a longer wait time.
Good luck with whatever you decide! :-)
April 2013 DE IVF= BFN
September 2013 DE IVF (Fingers Crossed) = BFFFN! again...
October 2013 FET of our last 2 = Beta Hellzz for 6-7 Weeks. M/C
Baby boy Henry born 2015.
Expecting our capstone baby (boy) early March 2018.
Following the recommendation, we started out with 15 embryos that cycle and only 1 was chromosomally normal that cycle, and it ended in a chemical pregnancy. After two attempts using my eggs and donor sperm I knew that it wasn't going to work, as one cycle was canceled and the other I ended up with nothing to transfer.
Shortly after of my failed DE cycle my clinic placed us on the list for donated embryos. After the failed cycle with my eggs and donor sperm my clinic had two embryos, which they offered us. I looked at the profile for the set of embryos and it didn't feel right. The male donor had no resemblance of my husband. I cried and cried. I felt so ungrateful, but the embryos did not feel like a good match. I declined the donated embryos, took a short break later inquired about a DE/DS cycle. DH and I are middle class, so financially DE/DS is not the best choice for us since we have to pay 100% oop.
For me, even though everyone we know, knows that we are using DE/DS, having the choice of our donors in the end was very important to me.
My point is, follow your heart!! Good Luck with whatever you decide.
::: Married June 2003:::
TTC #1 since: Aug. 2008
Me: 34, DOR, MTHFR-A1298C (heterozygous), decreased blood flow to uterus, Mild Endo
DH: 38, Balanced translocation 5&10, unexplained MFI, normal SA and SCSA
Tx History: IUI 1&2= BFN
IVF# 1 W/ICSI= BFN
IVF# 2: cancelled d/t no response
IVF# 3= 1 egg retrieved=immature/not viable
IVF# 4= c/p
***CCRM ODWU***
Found DHs BT and Me-decreased blood flow to uterus
Recommended DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture. Decided to cycle locally
***New RE***
DE IVF# 1(cycle #6) w/pgd, (freeze all): 30R, 23M, 15F, slow/poor embryo development, 4 biopsied, 1 Normal "Norm"; DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture.
IVF# 6: (OE/DS) cancelled
IVF# 7: (OE/DS) 1R, 1M, 1F, arrested day 5
Plan-DE IVF# 2 (cycle #8): DE/DS in May 2015
http://icanhazbabyz.blogspot.com/
TTC since April 2012
BFP #1, 10/03/2012 - EDD 6/15/2013 - MMC 11/15/2012 - D&C 01/04/2013
BFP #2, 04/06/2013 - EDD 12/17/2013 - MC 04/19/2013
6/12/2013 Diagnosed with Balanced Translocation (12 & 16)
IVF #1 with PGS: 10/2013: Canceled 9/27/2013 for issues with genetic lab
IVF #1.5 with PGS: 11/16/2013: Canceled. 11 eggs retrieved, 9 mature & 9 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
IVF #2: 1/22/14: Canceled. 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 7 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
IVF #3 with PGS: 5/10/2014: Switched to FET in July. 10 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized, 2 healthy embryos!
FET #1: 7/31/2014: Transferred 2 nearly perfect (6AA, 6BA) healthy embryos- BFFN
Laproscopy: 10/2014: Healthy uterus
IVF #4: 12/8/2014: Canceled. 17 eggs retrieved, 15 mature, 10 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
Everyone welcome on my posts
We went straight for DE for DS2 and didn't consider Dembryo. We also used frozen eggs because it was less expensive, much faster to cycle, and I didn't have to time anything with someone else or rely on someone else. We were guaranteed a certain number of eggs and at least 2 high quality embryos or the next cycle would be free (I believe the clinic has since changed this policy.) Having said that, we chose an out-of-state clinic with exceptional frozen egg success rates and were successful on our first try. I'm happy that DS2 is genetically related to DH. DH is adopted, so our boys are his only known genetic relatives.