TTC Check-In (12/22)

healz413

Hey Everyone! It's Monday!

How is your/your partner's TTC journey progressing, where are you at, and what's next?
*Reminder - If you have a BFP to announce, please do so by creating a new thread for everyone on the board to see. Thank you!

QOTW: (my apologies if this has already been asked; I haven't been back for long) How are you feeling about the holidays and TTC? (e.g. clinic closings, travel, dealing with babies in the family or pregnant family members, stressful family gatherings, infertility/loss and the holidays, etc.)

channe9

As I'd suspected, BFN for IUI #3 (and 4 ICIs previously) last Thursday. Clinic is closed between Christmas and New Year's so that's us out a cycle unless we decide to try DIY -- and if we do that, we need to decide tonight to put in the order. Clinic will be closing for good at the end of February so we've got one more potential cycle with them. In the meantime, the other options are dizzying: do we start a serious hunt for a known donor, do we wait for the NHS and accept that the child I conceive will be related to all the rest of the gaybies in our city but NOT it's sibling that wife will one day birth, do we exercise EU health care free movement and avoid related gaybies but then take on the stress of trying to coordinate doing all of this abroad, and what is "enough" IUIs and time to switch to IVF?  

Basically @Healz413's question is APT. With the news of our clinic closing and so many decisions to make, it all feels very overwhelming this holiday. I want to be able to shelve TTC emotions and enjoy but... so far, not happening. 

bfonz619

@channe9, so sorry for BFN.  Sending many ((hugs)) your way.  GL with whatever you decide in terms of trying on your own.  Being that this is the route MW and I are taking, I have to say it takes the stress out of coordinating everything through a clinic and being able to inseminate in the comfort of our home has made the process very relaxed. 


At this point, I am waiting to confirm my O date which I believe was last Friday.  My temps spikes aren't as strong as they usually are this cycle and I still have a lot of fertile CM which is out of the norm for me.  I have only had one day of positive OPK's (last Friday) but have planned to continue testing until my temps have very obviously shifted. 

We have our nephews Christmas eve through the 28th.  This should help keep our minds off of the TWW, and have given us something to look forward to since we had previously planned on keeping Christmas low key. 

As far as keeping my heart in check and my hopes under control, so far so good.  I am trying very hard to refocus any nervous excitement into forward thinking and not put continuous pressure on my sincere hope that this will be our lucky cycle.  MW said she is nervous of how it will affect me if things do not go as we hope.  I know she has strong hope for this cycle as well, but we agreed to think positive and not put too much pressure into this particular cycle.  FX!

healz413

@channe9, I'm so sorry about your BFN. Your situation seems super stressful and like there are a lot of factors to weigh and consider. I have found a lot of things very stressful about TTC, but one of the most stressful for me has always been trying to decide which less-than-perfect option to choose when there are so many things up in the air and no way to know which one will out best and opposing pros and cons to each of them. I wish you luck and as much peace as possible in making your decisions.

As for us, we are 3dp3dt (three days post day 3 embryo transfer. As I mentioned in the "We're PUPO" post on Friday, the transfer went very well. The 9 cell embryo thawed 100% successfully (100% of its cells thawed correctly), which was a major relief. 

@Manada is giving me my PIO shots every morning. There have been a week of them so far. I'm really hoping to get another 9 weeks of them (our clinic does PIO until 12 weeks pregnant), although I imagine it will get very uncomfortable if we're lucky enough to be in that position.

We've told almost no one in real life that we're trying again right now. Folks know that we're going to be trying, but not the specifics. We want to be able to announce good or bad news on our terms and timeline not based on other people's knowledge of our Beta dates. 

Also, two years ago when we did our first IUI, it was almost the exact same timing, so we were with my family in Chicago during the TWW. They knew that we'd just done an IUI with M's body and so when she came down with a stomach bug, she couldn't just be sick in peace because everyone hoped it was signs of pregnancy. We'll be going to Chicago for week 2 of the TWW, and I would like to have as little speculation as possible.

QOTW: M and I are not looking forward to the holidays. We lost our twin daughters in June. Had we not lost them, they would have been a little over 2 months old and we probably would have hosted Christmas at our place for the first time. It's just not right to have to have Christmas without them. Thankfully, our families are very understand and were willing accept our declaration that we would not be doing Christmas this year. We'll be visiting both families after Christmas and just doing our own, non-holiday thing for Christmas.

StacyLH24

@channe9 - I'm so sorry. It's hard to navigate where to go next. I hope you're able to come to a decision that feels right for you and your journey.

@sdfonz619‌ - FX that your timing was great and that things work for you this cycle.

@healz413‌ - It sounds like you and @Manada‌ are doing what works for you, and that's a good thing. I agree, it is hard when everyone around you is wondering a speculating.

StacyLH24

This is kinda long...

Well, my endometrial scratch was as fun as I thought it would be. I can't say that I would recommend it to anyone unless you're feeling desperate on your TTC journey. I wasn't sure if I was going to pass out or throw up, and I have a decently high tolerance for pain. Thankfully neither happened and I got Oreos out of the whole thing! My saline u/s went well. Nothing in my ute, so we're cleared to start the blood work and u/s marathon next Tuesday.

Today is the first time that things have gone well this cycle. Everything up to this point has been a struggle. I finally have my calendar.

I tried to order my Ganirelix, PIO and Ovidrel last week only to find out a few things. The Ovidrel script had expired. The Ganirelix script had been sent to another pharmacy, even though I've only filled it once and it was with Freedom. They couldn't tell me what other pharmacy had the script. Then, apparently there is a PIO shortage. Freedom has PIO but it isn't the one that my insurance will cover. So, either I pay OOP with Freedom or I figure out who carries what my insurance will cover.

The Ganirelix and Ovidrel were an easy fix and just needed to be called in again by my RE's office. I have a paper script for my PIO so that I can get that figured out.

I had a massage on Saturday to relieve stress and some pain I was having from a knot in my upper back. During that, she mentioned to me that my hips need adjusted. I'm going to make an appointment with a chiropractor before our transfer. Maybe it will help, or maybe it is unrelated. It would be great if it helped my cervix fall into a good place. Speculums are not my friend still.

TMI alert....

On the upside (?), C and I laughed as I was trying to get dressed after today's ordeal. I knew the saline was below me somewhere because I felt it all come back out as I was laying on the table. So C came to see where it was so that I didn't step in it. Well, that resulted in hilarity. The saline was pretty much everywhere and there was gel on the floor too. I'm not sure how the gel got there. Plus some iodine as well. I made it to the floor without stepping in anything and of course dropped my underwear while I have saline running down my leg. It was a comedy act for sure. I would rather laugh than cry though.

Whatever gets transferred in January better hang on tight to this space that's been created for it now.

QOTW: I'm really only nervous about Christmas with C's family. Sometimes things get said about our journey that are hurtful. I don't think that it's ever meant to be, but it is. I'm afraid Christmas will bring the opportunity for comments and I'm anxious about it. More than likely it will all turn out fine.

healz413

@stacylh24--

Congratulation on the bravery it takes to do a endometrial scratch! Holy Cow! I have not had one done and would not like to have one done, but, like you, would do one if my RE thought there was any chance it could help. But I would not be happy about it. No way.

When do you start stimming?

Note: I just re-read the rest of my post and I worry that it comes across as unsolicited advice. The intention of it, though,  is to reflect my investment in your journey and in you getting your take home baby. 

I've been out of the loop with the TTC Check-in. I"ve followed your general posts on the board about IVF, but not all the TTC check-ins, so I have a few questions that you've probably posted about elsewhere and that of course you don't have to answer --

Is intralipid infusion the immunology thing that you referred to in your "WTF" post a while ago? It is expensive and generally not covered, but since we're also in the boat of throwing everything at it, we decided to try it this cycle.

I really should know this (and I'm sure I used to), but do you do acupuncture before and after the transfer itself? I know that not everyone believes in it, but the studies I've read show that it actually can make a significant difference for implantation.

Is PGD/PGS an option? I know that if you only get a couple of blasts it's not worth it, but if you get more this time, it could be helpful. One of my friends did a first IVF that results in 3 high quality blasts and transferred one each time and didn't get pregnant. When she did her 2nd IVF cycle they were able to get 8 blasts. They did PGS and only two of them came back "genetically normal". They transferred one of those and had a full term pregnancy and now have a baby at home. Obviously PGS/PGD is expensive but it helped to answer a lot of questions for them about what was going on and kept them from possibly doing up to 6 unsuccessful transfers on that cycle. 

I wish you the very, very best!

Officerofthelaw

@channe9‌ sorry about the BFN those are never fun. Hang in there.

To everyone else either waiting for an IUI/IVF/ICI or in the TWW I wish you the best of luck!

I'm currently 2 days post IUI. We did a back to bak insemination on Friday and Saturday. I had four follicles, 26, 24,22 and 18. Went back in on Sunday and they were gone, so timing was as perfect as you can get out. Keeping our fingers crossed for good New Years news. Beta is Jan 1, but I'm going to take a test at home on 12-31. Other than that I am not testing at all. I figure since it's the 6th one I can have some self control. If this does not work this month then we are looking to start IVF immediately.

The holidays for me are not too exciting although Christmas is my favorite holiday. So I'm just feeling normal I guess, looking forward to the new year.

StacyLH24

@healz413‌ - IVIG is what I was referring to. I know some places use intralipids as opposed to IVIG though.

I haven't done acupuncture yet but have been thinking about it. I just need to find someone in the Buffalo area so that I can coordinate it all.

I have been contemplating PGS/PGD. I can't remember if it is covered in what we've paid or not. If it is, I would consider it. If it isn't, I imagine we couldn't afford it at this point.

I didn't take any of your post to be unsolicited advice, so no worries!

Officerofthelaw

@wittyandwaiting‌ yay for the IuI tomorrow. I wish you so much luck! We will Be in the tww together:)

StacyLH24

@healz413 - I just realized I didn't answer you about when I start stimming.  Assuming that all goes well next Tuesday, I will start next Friday, January 2.  I'm starting out at 450 iu of Gonal-F which, if I remember correctly, will be 150 iu higher than what I started with for the last fresh cycle.  With the higher dose, I'm not sure if I will stim as long or not.  Last time it was about 13 days of stimming.  I don't remember exactly. 

bfonz619

@wittyandwaiting Last time, I tested at 10 DPO which I had never done before and got a BFP.  I am thinking I will probably do the same this time.  Now that I am actually in the TWW, I am incredibly nervous and scared, so my focus is staying as relaxed as possible and not stressing the entire time. 

Sending you lots of positivity and GL with your IUI!

cetcar2013

Wishing you all good luck in your journey! And a happy holiday!

This is our first check in, not much new though (basically a repeat from my update on the other posting). Had a SHG on Friday which went well (thanks again for your advice). After the holidays we'll schedule a glucose test since my egg count was on the high side. RE didn't seem too worried about it.....said I didn't look like I was pre-diabetic, but who knows.

Our RE has multiple offices and our appointment on Friday was in a different one, we liked it more and the drive is much better. Road along the ocean vs. 6 lane highway.

Oh, and we heard back from the possible known donor we had asked a couple weeks ago (since it had been a while, we were assuming that it would be a no). Turns out he is open to it and we're going to meet up this week to catch up and probably also talk about the possibility and what theoretically the post baby relationship would be like. He's my partner's childhood friend who she hasn't been close in touch with for a while. He'll be bringing his bf too. Can't help but think this conversation could be awkward. Or maybe it's just me being immature. We'll see.....

bfonz619

Thanks! @crazyaunt84 They are definitely going to keep us busy this weekend which will make the bulk of this TWW fly by.  Hope you and everyone have a wonderful Christmas eve!