I feel like a terrible mom

hbird0723

So nap training for naps has kind of been hit or miss. We stopped during night training because after 4 days she still wasn't catching on and she was letting me at least put her down then last week she started putting herself to sleep just fine for naps. All the sudden this week she just screams and escalates so I just figured maybe teeth or something because she's been waking screaming in the middle of the night as well. Well yesterday the rocking chair broke...FML! Seriously!! Today it took me 2 hours to get her to nap. It took 30 min at first which wasn't bad since I can't rock much then she woke screaming 5 minutes later and the slow rocking wasn't enough then she was screaming because she was tired and I wasn't rocking right (so I thought since she hates change) So I ended up putting her in her crib. She escalated and I collected myself then finally got her back to sleep. Laid her down and 10 minutes later she's screaming. So I waited she didn't go back to sleep. Tried just keeping her up and she just cried over everything we played with. Went back in and got frustrated again put her down. Came to check 10 minutes later. After 10 more minutes I was yelling. I know she can't understand me but I was just so frustrated. So I yelled go to sleep! That did not help of course then I felt bad. Decided to give her some Advil. I at first thought she was just waking because I wasn't holding her then without the rocking it was taking forever to get her back to sleep. But then I thought well maybe it's teeth even though she doesn't have any. Now she's sleeping on me and keeps wincing like something hurts. Ugh I'm feeling so bad now! It was just so frustrating and I'm exhausted because she's been up so much more at night again plus trying to pack and get everything ready for our trip. I just feel bad for yelling and letting her cry when she just wasn't feeling good. It's so hard to know sometimes! Now I feel like she probably thinks I needed my mom because I don't feel good and she just let me cry and yelled at me

Anyone else done something like this?

Short version: I got frustrated because LO wouldn't go to sleep and when she finally did she kept waking up and so I yelled at her only to realize something's hurting her

kendy20

Last night DD was fighting me with her nap. Finally got her to sleep and went to move her so I could get dinner going, she woke up swinging at me and smacked me in the face a few times. I was already tired from fighting her that the hitting just pushed me over the edge. I sat her down and DH told me to walk away. He said I wasn't handling her gently enough and I "plopped" her down. He made me feel like crap and like I was man handling her. Which I wasn't but yeah.

But you are by no means a bad momma! It happens and I'm sure DD knows you love her. Creepy hugs >:D<

rainbowsockmonkey

I've yelled at DD about sleep too. Some times you get frustrated and it comes out. But its like you said, she can't understand you right now, and you did figure it and give her cuddles.

yvanehtnioj

This shit is hard! We are humans. I don't think there's a mom out there who hasn't been very frustrated and let it show at least once. Hugs to you.

letal316

I did this. We were doing our morning routine, I got her out of her crib and came right downstairs to give her a bottle. I sat her down on the rug while I went to mix the bottle and she kept fussing (which isn't typical) and for some reason I was annoyed so I shouted at her to give me a minute and when I went over to her, she very clearly had pink eye and her eyes were crusted together. How did I not notice that in the walk down the stairs? Must have been dark, that's my only defense. But I obviously felt like a bad/stupid mom. Poor baby.

hbird0723

You ladies are awesome!! Thanks for making me feel better and for the hugs @kittyriot‌ you made me tear up! Thanks!!

LunaBug924

You are so not a bad mom, and definitely not alone on the yelling.

DD has never liked sleeping on me and doesn't seem comforted by my holding her when she's tired. If anything she just cries harder and tries to push me away. One day I was just so frustrated that I put her in the crib a little rough and yelled at her. It was something like "there, are you happy now? If you're just going to cry when I hold you, then you can sit here and cry alone!" I felt awful, and still do. Luckily she got over it, and as far as I can tell, I'm still her favorite person.

(((Hugs)))

lrmrtn

You are so not a bad mom! We've all been there. A few months ago I was going through a really stressful time and DS kept waking up every hour. I started screaming which only made it worse. The next day he came down with a fever so he probably didn't feel well but I had no way of knowing. I felt horrible. My mom however reminded me that most moms have these moments and he doesn't remember and he's a happy healthy baby who lights up when he sees mom.

QOTR

There can't be a mom on this board that hasn't done or said something they regret by now.   When I need to forgive myself for stuff like this, I try to remember the Maya Angelou quote: “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”

yogasailmomma

You are not terrible, we have all been there or will be at some point! My girl hates the car and I have lost it and yelled back at her more then once. It's awful and you feel awful and I'm just sending you a virtual hug because it will get better. Our babies are changing so fast that no two days are ever the same!'

Junebug060609

We've all been there (or all will be). It's hard when they are non-verbal... trust me, I've got two non-verbal kids. All you can do is work thru the check list (Hungry? Teeth? Tired?) and trust mom gut.

If it makes you feel better, I had a similar outburst at 3am

ArmyMedic7588

Awww!!! I completely understand this kind of frustration!! I got this a lot and it's finally only gotten better the past month or so. And now she's teething, so it's starting again. You are not a bad mom! We all go through it I think. You gave her cuddles and helped her feel better, that proves your a good mom. And tomorrow she'll wake up and not remember it and reach those cute little arms for you! At the moments I was crying over exhaustion and frustration I thought it would never end and I'd never sleep again. Now I miss those days of her cuddling and sleeping on me. Don't miss the exhaustion and frustration though! But someday we'll all look back and forget the bad and remember all the great parts of it!

spacepotatoes

Don't beat yourself up too much. Sleep issues are so tough on everyone involved and when coupled with all the other things babies go through, it's a miracle anybody ever has more than one!

I snapped at DD once when I was bouncing her to sleep and it was taking forever. She looked so startled by it and I felt awful about it. It happens. At least now you know for next time.

bridetobe9132013

I know how you feel! I have done that before and then felt horrible. Someone told me that if I was a bad mom, I would not have felt so bad about yelling and getting frustrated.

hbird0723

Thanks again everyone!! It's nice to have such a supportive group if mommas