WWYD

wandsandwine

So we were out to eat with DHs family celebrating his graduation, there were about 7 people there. DS was getting hungry so I grabbed my jacket intending to go out to the car. BIL (who is the only member of DHs family I like) ask where I'm going. I told him DS was hungry so I was going to nurse in the car. His response "why don't you just go in the bathroom?" I was honestly offended. I know he wasn't trying to be rude but it really bothered me. I told him I didn't want my child eating in a germ infested stall and he just kinda stopped talking. I'm nervous things will be awkward on Christmas now but really it's his fault.

Ugh I hate any confrontation

lynds002

He probably just wasn't thinking. I don't think it should be awkward! A little confrontation isn't a big deal. He's probably forgot about it already or feels stupid for suggesting the bathroom.

winterkate

Would he like to eat dinner in a public bathroom stall? When you point out how ridiculous that would be, he's got no choice but to consider that you wouldn't want that for your baby. I don't think it has to be awkward at Christmas. I don't think I would address it further - just treat him as you normally would.

I never planned on nursing in public, being super prude myself lol, but now that LO is here, I don't think twice about feeding her whenever and wherever she is hungry (with my trusty cover). I think that as nursing mamas, we are given lots of opportunities to educate others and renormalize breastfeeding. It's hard sometimes, but you can take pride in what you're doing for your LO and share it with others in a positive way.

wandsandwine

Thank you all! I think it was a bigger deal in my head than it actually was.

seamonkey0814

I hope they didn't expect you to leave the table at all. If you want to go to the car I guess that's your choice but to be honest I would be highly offended if anyone expected to remove myself to feed my kid. If you're at someone's house for the holidays it totally makes sense to go to another room for some privacy and quiet but that's very different from having to go hide in the car! Again, if it's what you really wanted that's one thing, but I would really encourage anyone who's squeamish about nursing in public to choose a few places you feel most comfortable and just give it a try. I did it with my husband there the first couple of times and asked him to watch and make sure I wasn't putting on a show without realizing it. It's really not that bad once you've practiced a few times and with a good cover, you can be totally discreet!

jenniferurs

I think getting offended is a bit of an overreaction. I don't think he meant any harm by it. And quite honestly, if the choices were freezing car or relatively clean bathroom, I just might go with the bathroom myself.

becominggold

I think he probably just didn't think and was actually trying to be helpful. Last time I was w my BIL I was nursing LO and he asked how long it would take for LO to drain the tap :-P

amj1053

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about this. Like other PPs, I don't think he meant anything by it. He was probably thinking that going to the rest room would be easier than going to the car.

wandsandwine

@seamonkey0814‌ it gave me an out to get away from the inlaws lol

caybeh

Like others said, he probably already forgot about it.

Maybe a FFC....I've nursed plenty of times in a public bathroom stall. I always just pick a bigger stall, and just sit on the floor. DD (and I did it with DS) never touches anything in the stall. I've never been told to leave, I just do for my own sake. Also, DD gets rather distracted, so she eats better when its just us.

lookame3639

He probably didn't understand, has known women who have done it before. Plus maybe he suggested it since it was cold outside? In the grand scheme of things I don't think this is a big deal and he may have felt embarrassed for suggesting it at the time but guys rarely hold onto things...

I've taken up staying at the table and eating and nursing covered. I've stepped away before and when I came back everyone was done eating and my food was cold. However in a case where it's a big family meal i may leave depending on circumstances

shevaCC

I agree that he wasn't trying to upset you and probably thought it was a good suggestion. Once DD was about 4 months old she refused the nursing cover and would randomly pop off to look at anything and everything. So I nursed her a lot standing up in bathrooms by the sink area. They were usually boring/quiet so she actually ate and I didn't have to worry about flashing people if she popped off suddenly.