"Gift" Question

Dawn5481

Right after I gave birth, a coworker of mine (who was self-proclaimed OAD) gave me a bunch of clothes and stuff for LO. She also asked if I wanted a bassinet that her daughter never slept in. At the time, LO hated her P&P, so I said I'd give it a try. Co-worker was happy she was getting it out of her house. Well, it was the only thing LO would sleep in (and still does).

This week I got a text from this co-worker that asked if I was still using it. I said yes, as LO still fits in it. She then told me when she didn't fit in it anymore to bring it in for another co-worker we have that's due in January so she can use it.

Does anyone else find this weird? I mean, the bassinet was given as a handmedown gift that was going to be donated if I didn't take it. I plan to have another child and had hoped to use it with the next one. Now, I'm all about sharing, but I think it's a little wrong to tell someone to regift a gift they gave you. Or am I being a bitch in thinking that?

lynds002

I think it's weird, but I'd probably just do as she asked. It's probably not worth making a fuss over. It's just as rude as asking for it back imo.

Dawn5481

Yeah, I just texted back that I would and left it at that.

SteffieR13

Yeah, I think that's a little weird. It is no longer her item to give away. Do you think she may have told your co-worker she would give it to her originally? 

If I was in that situation, I would just pass it on to avoid conflict.

poofwok

Ummm she gave it to you. She had no business offering it to someone else.
IMO, not acceptable and I would be annoyed.

So yes, you can absolutely think this is weird.

jamjoyful

It sounds to me like she meant it as more of a loan than a gift. She should've been more clear about her intentions with it.

JadaBlue

Interesting, I guess I was a beneficiary of this maneuver (a swing!) and didn't give it a second thought. The previous "lendees" were very gracious and had us for tea to talk babies when we picked it up. We'll pass it on to another family when we're done with it.

belle785

Definitely strange. I would be in no rush to pass it along if your LO still fits.

becominggold

That's weird. Our neighbors just lent us a bouncer, but they were very clear it is a loan.

cachoque

IMO the way you describe it, this was a gift. Thus, she was totally rude/presumptuous to ask you to regift. I mean, who does shit like that? I wouldn't ever think to do something like that!

cdseno

My crazy SIL have me all her maternity clothes because they are done with kids and then right after LO was born she text me, not to say congratulations or see how we were doing, but to ask me for the clothes back so she could give them to someone else. I didn't need them anymore, but I thought it was really weird. I feel like if the word "borrow" is never used, then it is rude to ask for stuff back.

Dawn5481

redhorizon343 said:

Yes - this is very weird. Once you give something away, it no longer belongs to you to give away. It sounds like she meant to loan it to you instead? Is she going to want the clothes back too!?

We have some hand-me-downs that are gifts and some that are loans. I'm happy to receive either - the giver just has to make sure they're clear about whether or not they want their things back.

Exactly.

lookame3639

It depends on the context...did she say it was yours, she was gifting it to you or did she say she was loaning it to you? Perhaps she meant she was loaning it to you?

I would go ahead and let her have it back...who knows by the time you have another kiddo it could be recalled (i had a bassinet that got recalled pretty quickly that's why I say that)