My RE visit really wasn't an RE visit at all (RAGE!) *previous losses mentioned*

Nikolie93

I copy and pasted this from the TTCAL board because if I have to type it all out again I may break something! 

First I want to say thank you to everyone who was thinking about me for my first RE visit today 

Second, I want to rage right now. I have been waiting for this appointment of 2 months. I go into the office and the Dr seems nice enough. He starts talking about what testing they would do throughout my pregnancy to ensure everything was ok, like a check at so many weeks to monitor the hearbeat, etc., etc. 

It took me a minute and then it clicked. I asked him what type of Dr he was and he said a high risk pregnancy Dr. I said "you aren't an RE?", and he said no. What. The. FUCK? 

He told me that, to be honest, he was a little confused as to why I was there. Yeah, you and me both buddy! He told me that normally you see an RE and THEN a high risk Dr. No shit, I am not pregnant and have had no tests done so why would I even need to see you right now?? 

He felt really bad for me, because I was so frustrated I started to cry. I could tell that MH was getting upset. Here we are, finally after 2 months, to get this show on the road and it was for nothing. 

I called my OBGYN office and they swore to me that they send you there first. I asked why in the hell would they do that if someone doesn't even know if they can have a viable pregnancy. Bah!

I called the RE that the high risk Dr. recommended and have an appointment for January 21st...so more waiting. Their office was also confused as to why my OB sent me to a high risk Dr before seeing an RE. 

On a side note, the Dr I saw was very nice but I felt there were a couple of red flags:

1. He told me that he really thinks this will work out for me and patients that come see him usually end up coming back with good news (wtf, really??) 

2. He sees no reason why I won't have a successful pregnancy (with no testing at all!?!?) 

3. He told me that since I got pregnant 3 times, he sees no reason why we need to wait to TTC again. Ummm, maybe because I have no idea if there is anything wrong with me or MH yet?? 

Sorry so long, and if you read this I really appreciate it. If you didn't I completely understand, I really just needed to get this off my chest because the couple of people I've talked to IRL don't seem to think this waiting game is a big deal. 

URMySunshine77

Ugh, I am so sorry for that experience. I would have been livid, too. I am not a medical professional, but I don't understand this doctor's advice to you, either.

I hope that you can find the right doctor soon. I only had to wait two weeks for a RE at my local clinic. I just took the first available, and he was a good fit. I hope you find the same. You never know--you might be able to get a canceled slot from someone else.

rspalding001

So sorry for you having to go through all that! I love how the OBGYN office tried to validate what they did when everyone else involved seemed to know it was not correct. At least with the holidays the next few weeks should fly by and you will be that much closer to your actual RE apt. Wishing you a stress free and happy holidays! 

WinoGrrl

Ugh - so sorry that this was a big mess. Hopefully the ACTUAL RE appointment goes better. hugs!!

wannabmama23

Arghh! I would be livid too!
Sucks that this all takes so much time to figure uou what might be going on anyway...without a total waste if time thrown in!
Hugs and here's to next time being the charm!

flyliceandcoffee

oh my gosh I would be raging too! That really sucks, I'm sorry

I know you have an appt already set up with the RE suggested by the high risk doc, but if you're not sure about him, are you sure about the doc he recommended? Maybe since you have some time between now that that next appt, you can see if there are any other REs in the area who might have an open spot sooner?

Nikolie93

Thanks for listening to my venting, ladies  >:D<

When I asked the RE about cancellations she said they don't have a list and I would have to call. I guess that means call and bother them ever day? :-/ I am sure that will go over well! lol

@flyliceandcoffee I was going to do some research on this one to see what feedback they have. Good idea to call around in the meantime to see if someone else can get me in! 

It seems to be the norm around her to have a month or longer wait for this. 

tlc35

Lurking

Gah, I'm so sorry.  That is ridiculous!

hooligans4

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!
~X(
Would you like me to unleash my inner bitch on your doctors office. Cause I'm feelin extra bitchy today.

Nikolie93

It really is, @tlc35! GRRRR

@Hooligans4 I could probably use you. When I got frustrated and cried I said I was sorry and the Dr said "no need to apologize, you're actually taking this much better than I thought and better than most have"

Then I called my OB's office and ended up saying I was sorry for being so frustrated. 

I suck 

kindershlitz

I'm sorry. That is awful! I was lucky and did not have to wait long for my RE consult, I agree to potentially shop around? I am not insured for this stuff so it didn't matter who I picked.

dream2be3

I am so sorry you had to go through that - you handled it much better than I would've.  I hope things take a turn for the better and you can move forward with an RE.

Davie813

So frustrating--I'm sorry!  I hope you're able to find a doctor you like (and hopefully get in before the 21st).

Nikolie93

thank you so much, ladies!

susykat77

I would have reacted the same way!! So sorry. The waiting sucks!! Hoping you can get in with someone else sooner.

KateLouise

I'm so sorry, that is ridiculous.

I'm not a medical professional, and I hope what the Doctor says to you ends up being true, but to advise you without testing is stupid. I hate it when Doctors tell you stuff just to try and make you feel better.

I hope Jan 21 comes quickly for you!!

vballbaby

Awe that sucks! I can imagine your frustration. Hang in there and here's to hoping time flies by for you.

vh2014

That sucks! Seems today was a bad day for doc visits. Was their a full moon or something? Hope the 21st goes awesome for you.

MsJazzy73

That blows BIG TIME! Ugh! I'm so sorry!! How frustrating that happened to you! I can't imagine ANYONE who wouldn't think that waiting for a doctor's for two months only to find out it's the WRONG DOC and you have to wait another month isn't a big deal! 

Here's hoping the time flies by. HUGS

MySallyGirl

That is ridiculous! I'm so sorry this happened to you!

CML11

Holy crap!!! I am so irritated for you. That sucks balls, I'm so sorry you waited all that time for that crap. Well I hope you can get in to see a real RE a lot sooner than 2 months. If you have the option meet with more than one to save yourself some time and you can choose the one you feel is the best fit.
I'm sorry!

emsmama15

What the hell? I'm so sorry! How frustrating. I actually AM a medical professional and I'm suspect of this doc's comments to you. Ugh ugh ugh! Definitely call around and see if you can get in somewhere else sooner. Good luck!

thirtyninetoforty

I am so sorry, that is such a let down.  Waiting is absolutely the worse and you think you are finally moving forward and now more waiting!  For this board, when you're ready and needing to move forward, we really need to!

How on earth can he say you shouldn't have any issues?  What a dumb fuck!

lcwed

*****lurking*****

Oh honey I am so sorry.  What a horrible mix up to have happen.  I am so sorry you had such an incompetent doctor.  The waiting game is horrible.  FX this next appt gets you the answers you need.  Big hugs for you.

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wvarn

So sorry for you. The waiting is horrible and to only find out it was not even the right kind of Dr for you and you have to wait more, well is sucks monkey balls.  I hope you can call around and find a RE to get you in quicker and I hope you can find a good fit for you.  

kelley72

ugh... May I call the ob office and bitch them out for you?  Not really but I am so sorry and very frustrated along with you.

I hope you get into the RE very, very soon and this experience passes quickly.

Nikolie93

Thanks ladies, it helps to hear that others are ragey with me  

My next appointment is Jan 21st so another month. And then if my cycle isn't at the right time for the tests, that will be mean ANOTHER month. 

I just don't know right now. Sometimes I wonder if I should just throw in the towel and move on with our lives. 

Sorry I am so blah  

kelley72

I understand your frustration @Nikolie93 ... having doubting days is so normal with the emotional (as well as physical and financial) aspects of ttc.  Hoping your day gets brighter!

wvarn

Nikolie93 said:

Thanks ladies, it helps to hear that others are ragey with me  

My next appointment is Jan 21st so another month. And then if my cycle isn't at the right time for the tests, that will be mean ANOTHER month. 

I just don't know right now. Sometimes I wonder if I should just throw in the towel and move on with our lives. 

Sorry I am so blah  

No throwing in the towel.  This is just a little speed bump in your journy.  Hang in there.  FX that timing is right for ya.

vh2014

@nikolie93 don't throw in the towel in frustration!  If you are at peace, yes, that's your choice.. but in frustration- no way!! Besides, I'd miss you here (and it's all about me right LOL)

I do get it though.  Sometimes you are just like wtf? but hopefully we'll have a great end result will be worth all of it!  When DH and I talked last night he said something profound... even if our journey doesn't end where we expect at least we'll know we didn't leave anything on the table. Yeah.. not letting that towel hit the ground.  

waterbaby318

Yuck, I know how frustrating it is to have to wait, and wait, and wait some more. People think waiting for 4 or 6 or whatever months is no big deal but depending on your numbers it could very well be a big deal. 

Here's to hoping your next appointment aligns with your CD.  

sonpetitlapin

WTF is wrong with your Drs office?  I am so sorry you had to go through that, wait 3 months and now wait a little longer.  Rant and yell here all you want.  that is what we are here for. Hugs!!

emsmama15

@nikolie93, please don't throw in the towel.  You really need to meet with the RE first and see what they have to say and what they can do for you.  Don't let your frustration impact this!!

Nikolie93

Thanks ladies. You are all so very awesome!

I shouldn't have even said that about throwing in the towel but I am just so frustrated and the thought of waiting another month than another month after that if I am not at the right time during my cycle for the tests, just leaves me feeling a bit discouraged. It's very hard for my project management mind to not be able to plan and it seems as if our lives have been on hold for so long already. I don't want it to tear MH and I apart by not enjoying life, ya know? 

Oh yeah @vh2014, thanks for saying you'd miss me  

happyktmom

Totally get it.  EVERY month is too long.  We say this to ourselves EVERY damn month we don't get pregnant.  SUCKS big time.  Sorry.  Happy thoughts for moving forward to January!