STM: Helping prep older child for new baby

mamayo26

DS1 will be 11 days shy of 3 when DS2 is born and is already exhibiting signs of jealousy. EX: we went to lunch yesterday with my SIL and FIL and SIL has a 5 month old. When FIL held our nephew DS all of a sudden wanted to sit by Grandpa and started saying "My Gramdpa, my grandpa". So I took my nephew from my FIL and about 90 seconds later, DS scooted back over to me and started saying "My mommy, my mommy". He's done this when I hold my other friend's babies too--so not a one time thing.

While I think it is sweet and I'm so happy he loves me this much, I am a little concerned about how he will react when we bring the new baby home as I will obviously not be able to just hand the new baby to someone. I know this is "the age", I was just seeing if anyone had any ideas or did anything with their kids to prep them for the arrival of a new baby (I mean people do this for pets so why wouldn't we do it for the older siblings).

TIA!

 

Kaelynn91

My daughters are 17 months apart so when my second first arrived it was no big deal to her. However, the older my oldest gets the more sensitive she gets about the baby getting attention. My best advice is to intentionally make time to spend alone with your oldest. It doesn't have to be doing anything big. It can be something as small as reading a few books together or something as big as going on an ice cream date together. Just make sure your oldest still feels special. That will be important for both of your kids as they age! Also, it is so much fun to spend time with them one on one. My husband and I cherish those moments with our daughters!

blu-eyedwife

I'm obviously in the same boat as you - but my kid is about 6 months older than you.

We've been reading him "new baby" books a lot.  The Little Critter one is a good one, because it's about how cool it is to be a big brother.

We also talk a lot about sharing.  What he wants to "give" to the new baby (like his old clothes and toys) and what he wants to "keep" (like the little bedside table we were going to move to the new baby's room, but we'll let him have it and get a new one) so he doesn't feel like the baby's taking things from him.  And we've talked to him about how he has "special" toys the baby can't play with (like his trains which are just for big boys).

MommyAtty

Mine are 21 months apart. We did a few things. "The baby" brought home a present for his sister when he came home from the hospital. At our ped's suggestion, we gave her a doll and talked a ton about the concepts of gentle and easy and where she could and could not touch the baby, using her doll. (We don't poke eyes, we can tickle feet and gently hold hands.) We also spent a lot of time talking about how she was going to be such a great helper and a great teammate for taking care of the baby. We gave her tasks she could do, like putting diapers in the basket on his changing table and putting used pacifiers in the sink. We've had a great transition, but those first weeks, she would sometimes say, "Please, Mommy, hold me for just one minutes," as though she was never held, and it would crush my heart.